The Time Machine

Audio performance of this review coming soon!

I remember standing at a theater, looking at a poster for the Ocean’s 11 remake late last year. My companion glared at the poster and remarked, “the original movie was fine! Why do they need to do a remake?” It’s harder to find a reason when we’re talking about cheesy uberbuddy flicks as in touch with reality as Miss Cleo on CRACK and more boring than frog Bingo so I had no ready answer for him. But it probably has something to do with the fact that, story aside, movies made before 1980 are unilaterally lame from a professionalism point of view.

Think about it. Every actor is chain sucking cigarettes even if that has nothing to do with the character. The language is disorientingly clean (nothing jars me from staying in movie quicker than someone getting their foot burned off and saying “Golly! This hurts something wicked, Miss Johnson!”). The soundtracks are not scene specific but usually wildly inappropriate and not written with the movie in mind unless it is a musical. The special effects are so weak they’d get a ten year old thrown out of film school. And don’t get me started on the TEDIOUSLY lame driving scenes! Nothing like seeing an actor supposedly driving while simultaneously turning their backs to the “road” to talk to someone and turning the steering wheel 450 degrees in one direction all the while the backdrop (so unrealistic it they might as well have been fingerpainted by a four year old) rolls past at an impossible angle in relation to the "moving" car. There’s a reason why they stopped using backdrops for car dialogue scenes some time after 1980 ... THEY. ARE. LAME.

Spend a couple decades watching movies where professional attention is paid to realism and keeping you “in the movie” and it becomes very difficult to go back and watch old movies. Again, nothing to do with the story the movie is telling, a large number of them are excellent. And actual acting ability was considered more of a reason to hire someone (rather than who is most popular at the moment) back then so the performances are pound for pound better in older movies. It is just that because of technology, budgets, and the savvy required to deal with audiences who had seen it all before, present day movies are generally smoother and keep you in the moment.

So redoing a movie that was a great story but unfortunately happened to be made in a less professional era is, to me, a very good thing in almost every case. It doesn’t sully the original because if you are into that sort of thing you can go back and watch the original. And people like me who find it hard to sit through even the most favorite movies from times past (I adored “Logan’s Run” and must have watched it 50 million times growing up but with all I have seen since that movie is UNWATCHABLELY lame) we get to enjoy the great story in a more palatable package.

Which, finally, brings us to “The Time Machine.” Another movie I watched 14 zillion times. Movies relying heavily on special effects to tell the story practically beg to be remade just because of technological advances. The original was made in 1960 and the difference between what we can do then and now is astronomical. And this new version of “The Time Machine” certainly makes full use of what we are capable of these days! The special effects will blow you away! Watching time change is as awesome now as seeing it happen in the original movie was for me when I was a kid and that is saying a lot because, as the movie itself says, you can’t go back. But ironically this movie DOES allow you to go back and feel just as awed as you were when you were a kid seeing the original the first time. As a special bonus to someone horror minded like me, the Morlocks were horrifying and realistic, a moist excellent combination.

Further helping matters was the excellent group of actors was brought in for this remake. What can you say about Guy Pearce? The man ROCKS, and plays someone in pain better than anyone I’ve seen in a long time. To be fair I have to say that he’ll be able to ride his “Memento” cred for a long time with me. And fatboy from “A Knight’s Tale” was excellent as Guy’s early sidekick. Orlando Jones come up big as the snippy computer sidekick for the later acts. His screen time was a perfect amount and perfectly placed for comic relief just when you needed it, and he even got in a creepy moment. And Jeremy Irons was just as great as the UberMorlock (hey, THEY billed him as that! That is not my invention!), especially considering how little screen time he had. His character sticks with you a lot longer after the movie than someone with as little screen time as he had has a right to.

The writing is top notch. More depth is given to the time traveler than in the novel or previous film adaptation, including an emotional reason for him to invent the machine in the first place. As sacrilegious as it might sound, the writing is so thoughtful and good it actually improves on its predecessors in a couple places.

All in all, this is a respectful, well written, well acted, and greatly visually enhanced update that should be seen on the big screen if you have any interest in the source works or in time travel movies in general.

Shadow Dog sez:

New movies are no fun! Gimmie an old John Wayne western where you can see jet plane trails in the sky behind him any day! As for this movie, it didn't suck enough to make me wanna jump into the time machine and go get my two hours back! And THAT'S saying something for me! -