He Said, Dog Said
"The Transporter" and "Formula 51"
Another double header day at the movies. What did Dexter and Shadow Dog think about these two movies?
Shadowdog: Having seen both movies, I’m here to tell you that “The Transporter” is movie GENIUS. British action comedies have been the flavor since “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels” and this movie continues that great tradition. :-P
Dexter: What are you talking about? “Formula 51” out Britishs AND outcomedys “Transporter” any day of the week! >:-#, you don’t need more than Samuel L. Jackson wearing a dress 90% of the movie to be rolling in the aisles with laughter! Especially when you see him kick piles of ASS while wearing that dress!
Oh yeah, Samuel L. Jackson is real British! And speaking of him, and of ASS, we really could have done without seeing Mace Windu’s neekid ASS, couldn’t we? Meanwhile, Jason Statham is a REAL British actor and he excels in Transporter as well as he did in “Snatch” and the aforementioned “Lock Stock etc” movie. It doesn’t get any better than exhilarating action that is also laugh out loud funny, and the fight on oil scene had me literally laughing out loud.
If you want laugh out loud action, you don’t have to go any further than Jackson stomping ASS while wearing a dress! What about villains? I’ll take Meatloaf from “Formula” over that CRAZEE eyed Oriental dude from “Transporter” any day! If CRAZEE boy opened his eyes any wider they’d fall out! It’s hard to be a proper villain when you have men chasing after you with butterfly nets. Scary crazy is one thing, but this bozo was “wall licking,” “gutter sleeping,” “tree talking to” crazy looking!
Okay, I’ll give you CRAZEE looking for that Oriental dude. But you try and counter with Meatloaf?? First of all, can someone please tell him that “Rocky Horror Picture Show” was 30 years ago and doesn’t give him the acting cred to be in any more movies? While he’s at it, how about a new CD more often than once a decade? Meanwhile, I'd settle for not having his face made up to look as vomit inducing as possible!
Hey! He’s called “The Lizard”! They couldn’t have a villain with that nickname without him having his face scarred to resemble that horrid looking creature.
Thank God his nickname wasn’t “The Penis” then.
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HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Um, moving right along, both movies had the obligatory romantic angle. The difference is, the romance in “Formula” was realistic.
Realistic?? That hot thang would be attracted to ole boy from “The Full Monty”??? Aside from his association with that horrid movie, his face looks like someone beat him with a hot waffle iron! Suuuuuure, smoking hot international assassins just adore sports obsessed wankers who can’t make it above “mindless heavy” on the British mob foodchain. That’s realistic!
More realistic than “The Transporter” telling us that anal, conservative, lifelong misanthropes fall for dishonest stick insects in mere hours.
Bottom line, “The Transporter” ROCKS! Two paws way up!!
PTTTTTTTPTH! “Formula 51” is the bomb! Accept no inferior substitutes when you need to get your British actedy groove on!
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What? You get to make penis jokes but I can’t combine the words “action” and “comedy” with impunity?
You can stand out here by this rock if you want to, but I’m outta here!
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