Earl called me and flat out said he didn’t have any food. He and his family were starving. I panicked. I was new to the social service world and I had never received a call like this. I ran home and asked my wife what should we do? We quickly put together a bag of groceries from our pantry and I rushed them over to Earl’s apartment. I carried the bags into his sparse home where the aged Earl and his wife thanked me for my aid. It was a good moment for me. I had helped a family in need. I responded immediately with wisdom and mercy. Or so I thought.
I got to know Earl well over the years. It turned out that I wasn’t the only one Earl called for help that day. Earl called every church in the phone book. I wasn’t the only one who brought him food. Several of my friends were delivering food on a regular basis. And I wasn’t the first to respond to his call for help. The Salvation Army had a file on Earl that stretched back to 1958! Earl was a professional beggar. He had honed his skills so well over the years that he successfully lived on very little income. He was fearful of the government so it was impossible to get him to talk with agencies such as Social Security, Disability, or Welfare. He had a social worker from the Red Cross who couldn’t get him to cooperate with her on anything. And he had lots of telephone numbers of people who came to his rescue. I was one. And I helped Earl on a regular basis. But one day he made a tactical error. He moved from a secluded house to the downtown area. He was within walking distance of a soup kitchen that served a meal everyday and let people take leftovers home. He was close to two food banks, a clothing bank, an agency that helped with rent, an agency that helped with utilities and all of the government services that our society has to offer. Earl was in good health and could reach these places easily. My last message to him was simple – “Earl you can take care of yourself now”. My buddy Earl was not pleased.
I wasn’t put on this planet to make everyone happy. I don’t know about you but I have learned this lesson the hard way. There was a time when my goal in life was to be liked by everyone. Something funny happened on the way to endless popularity. I was manipulated, abused, betrayed. I worked so hard to help some people – only to be utterly rejected by them. I was stunned when it finally dawned on me that Earl was using others to avoid all responsibility for taking care of himself. How can someone live that way? Unfortunately I have met others like Earl, though each in their own unique way. Not everyone is as obvious as he is. But this realization challenged me. How do I follow in the footsteps of Jesus and tell someone who is using me “no”? How do I love my neighbor and do to him/her as I would have done to me – while avoiding blatant and abusive manipulation?
Jesus instructed his followers to minister to their neighbors with justice and mercy. He taught them to give generously to the poor but, “he did not teach his apostles that they were to be imposed upon by social parasites or professional alms-seekers” (1580.5). He said that they were to be wise and careful in their dealings with people, “wise as serpents”, but never to stand in unbending judgment, “harmless as doves”. Jesus instructed his followers to travel and preach the truth. He said to them to take advantage of success, but when confronted by rejection to move on (1801.2). For a follower of Jesus the job is not to seek acceptance but rather to preach and teach the joys of entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven. I do as much as I can for a person God has placed in my path and then I go to the next opportunity. Jesus followed that strategy for a very short time on this planet and look at the results.
Popularity is fleeting. Jesus was wildly popular a week before his execution. Helping someone is relative. The best assistance anyone can give Earl is to force him to do for himself. The wise way of living is to go through life helping as best we can, avoiding abusive situations, and walking away from rejection. This is the way Jesus lived and this is the way we all should seek to live with our earthly neighbors.
God Bless You,
William Whitehead
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