We are moving away from our home of five years. My job became unsettled and I was forced to look for another. I am happy to say I have found employment and a new place to live but I am still uneasy. The future is very uncertain. Are things going to work out at the new job? I don’t know. Are my kids going to adjust to the new neighborhood and new school? I hope so. Are my wife and I going to be able to fit all of the stuff we have accumulated over our lifetimes in the new house? We had better. What a mess the next few weeks are going to be. Some days I’m excited and other days I’m blah. I am searching for something, something I can’t quite define. I’m searching for a life without the constant up and down stress that uncertainty brings. I am searching for peace.
Peace today is hard to come by. I just stopped watching a news report on the threat of Small Pox. This was a disease that was eliminated from the planet many years ago. Now it is a terrorist threat. Should I be afraid? What about the possibility of war with Iraq? If we fight will they attack us with chemical or nuclear weapons? Maybe they will attack us even if we do nothing? And we can’t forget that Bin Laden fellow. Maybe he’s hiding in a cave or maybe he’s dead, but we have seen what he and his friends can do. We know nothing for certain. Though, we certainly should be afraid of these people.
Vague fears from far away threats are one thing, but most of us live in fear of uncertainties that are closer to home. A painful and debilitating illness is probably tops on the list. After seeing many people suffer I can tell you that cancer scares the pants off me. Fear drives many people to great lengths to try and remain healthy. I have a friend who doesn’t have high blood pressure, but it runs in his family. He lives in fear of his pressure rising. So he only eats egg whites and toast when we go out together for breakfast. Is he paranoid or just being careful? I suffer from hypoglycemia which I am told can develop into diabetes. I watch what I eat, exercise, and take vitamins. I like to think that this will keep me healthy. But there are no guarantees are there?
I receive some peace from reading the Urantia Book. I am currently slogging through Paper 35 and I am happy with some of the things I read. It’s nice to imagine the worlds we are going to visit and study on. I am looking forward to seeing the mansion worlds. And I am hoping for views of the galaxy that will put the Hubble to shame. I like to read about the schools we will be attending and the many beings who teach in them. I am looking forward to meeting a few of the Melchizedek's. But the real world intrudes upon my musings and I return to my troubled mind. How are we going to pack everything in time? Are the kids going to be ok? What bad thing is going to happen in the world next? I wish I could escape the endless parade of troubling thoughts.
Jesus told his disciples that he would he would always be with them. He told them that they would be supported by the Spirit of Truth. He said that God had provided for their future. And he said these words; Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (181.5). I think that these thoughts comforted them even as they faced uncertain futures. I know that the most peace I have experienced is when I focus on the future God has provided for me. When I look forward to the universe adventure that is before me, I usually feel a lot better. In the midst of trouble I try and keep my vision of the future in my minds eye. I try to remember that God has prepared a place for me. When I think on these things the uncertainty disappears.
Well back to packing. My immediate future involves boxes and tape, that’s for sure. But soon there will be peace in a new house. And the peace that Jesus gives.
God bless you,
William Whitehead
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