I look back on my life and I give a loud ‘thank you’ for the patience and understanding of my friends and family. When I think about all of the stupid things that I have done I am amazed that they have forgiven me. Because of all the times I have been forgiven I understand what forgiveness is all about.
I remember a time when I was around ten years old, my Mom was so angry with me she could have killed me with a look. We attended a church in New Jersey. Mom sang in the choir and I was active in the Sunday school. Mom was up in the choir loft, only ten feet from my friends and I sitting in the front pew. We used to fool around a lot, like all boys our age. Mom and the other adults used to warn us every now and then to keep us in line. Warnings only go so far though; death threats are much more effective.
Now as you probably know we kids were excluded from communion and when you exclude kids from something there are always consequences. Try taking your child to an ice cream shop and buying one for yourself but not for your child. The reaction will be swift and furious. Or try drinking a glass of wine in front of your children. You get the big-eyed look and the question; can I have some? You say no and they want to know why not. Better off waiting for them to go to bed. It’s the same thing that happens in church. Tell the kids that they can’t take part in the communion service and they might seem to accept it but there is trouble brewing down the road.
On this one very memorable Sunday morning I was with my coconspirators in the front row only a few feet from my ever-watchful Mother. And as the bread was passed around the congregation I pretended to take some bread and eat it. My friends and I giggled and had a good time over this. Then as the cup was being passed around, I pretended to take a cup and drink it. I acted like I was looking at it up and down and then I pretended to eat the cup. Roars of laughter rose up from the front row bouncing off of our high tin ceiling and down onto the congregant’s reverent ears. One congregant in particular was no longer focused on Jesus’ sacrifice, she was focused on a ten-year old ‘dead boy walking’ in the front row only a few feet away. I looked up and the eyes were boring into me. Mental daggers flew out of those eyes and struck me full of holes. To be told at that point that I was in trouble was an understatement. I am sure to this day that she was thinking about leaping over the wall that separated the choir from the congregation, quickly covering the few feet of space, and throttling me right then and there. Fortunately for me she was after all celebrating communion.
I was forgiven a long time ago for that little episode. Though the memory lingers for me, my Mom no longer remembers. I think about the many times that I have messed up over the years. I think about all of the people I so foolishly hurt. And I realize how often and how many people have forgiven me. Because of this I am truly blessed. Many of my good friends have allowed bad memories to slip away into nothingness. And thank goodness, if they didn’t I wouldn’t have any friends, I wouldn’t be married. Healthy relationships depend upon going beyond the failings of each individual. They depend on forgiving and forgetting.
In the Ubook it says of our next life; “only those memories and experiences which are a part of, and essential to, your universe career” will be remembered (1235.4). Though many memories can be reconstructed (451.3) it seems that memories that do not have survival value are not important for our future (535.1). Does bad behavior have survival value? Most of our mistakes probably do not. And so they will be forgotten, just as God has promised to forgive. This is a great blessing to those of us who have too many memories we would like to forget.
My Mom no longer remembers any of the bad things I did as a kid. It might have to do with age, but most likely it has to do with love. Forgetting about sin is a wonderful expression of love.
God bless you,
William Whitehead
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