A star-studded, jingle-bell-rocking, cliche-ridden Christmas story in the form of a holiday TV special:
 

REBEL BASE ON YAVIN

   Wedge, Biggs, Tiree, and Hutch are milling around the rec room, putting up holiday decorations. A slow jazzy rendition of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays in the background as source music. It is two months before the Battle of Yavin.

WEDGE: "Boy, I sure love the holidays. There's electricity in the air, and everyone's so happy, and..."
TIREE: "Almost everyone, Antilles! This darn happy-feely stuff gits me crankier than a nerf in a rainstorm!"
WEDGE: "Aw, c'mon, Tiree. Where's your Christmas spirit?"
HUTCH: "Hehe! I bet he's still cranky over losing his freighter in that explosion. He probably left his Christmas spirit in the escape pod! Haw haw!"
TIREE: "Hey, shut up about that! The worst thing about that disaster is now I gotta ship-pool with you!"
BIGGS: "Well, I’m feeling pretty good. Hey, Wedge, what'd you end up getting for your mom?"
WEDGE: "Oh, I'm getting a star named after her. Right by the Anoat system."
BIGGS: "Sounds great! Ever fly by there?"
WEDGE: "No, but some of the other guys were telling me about it. They say it's quite the thing to--"
   Wedge is cut off as Porkins enters the room.

PORKINS: "All right, guys: we gotta save Christmas!"
   The rest mutter in confusion and annoyance.

TIREE: "Aw, what in the blazes are ya yammerin' about now, Porkins!"
PORKINS: "My sister called from Alderaan... Says the Emperor's shuttin' down the youth center there! No more public funding!"
BIGGS: "Why that no-good, heartless, asteroid-brained... curmudgeon!
HUTCH: "I say proton torpedo him into the next millennium!"
PORKINS: "No kiddin'! I'd like to take that black laser sword o' his and--"
WEDGE: "Uh, that's his cane."
PORKINS: "Oh... It is...? Huh. Well. Anyway, we gotta help those kids! Ah... that youth center's all they got! So, any ideas?"
HUTCH: (sarcastic) "We could sweet-talk a Hutt into giving us some credits..."
TIREE: "Heh, but we'd have to at least fork somethin' over... Maybe he'd take Porkins' sister as a slave. I know I would, hehe..."
WEDGE: "A wonderful sentiment for the holidays, Tiree..."
PORKINS: (irate) "No one talks about my family that way! If I weren't so full o' good cheer, I'd--"
BIGGS: "I know! A talent show! We'll put on a talent show!"
PORKINS: "But once our vacation starts we'll only have two free days till Christmas!"
WEDGE: "That's impossible, even for an elite fighter squadron like us!"
BIGGS: "It's not impossible. I used to spearhead shows back home, they didn't give us much longer than two days."
HUTCH: "But what'll we do? The only talent WE have is for flyin' and blowin' things up."
TIREE: "And I ain't dancin'!"
PORKINS: "Maybe we oughta do some recruitin'."
BIGGS: "There's a band I know back home... best jazz musicians this side of Coruscant!"
WEDGE: "And I think the Max Rebo band is touring a neighboring system. It's a good cause, maybe they'll help out!"
HUTCH: "There's a lounge singer whose show I saw on Sullust... Always wears a mask, though, it's the strangest thing. But he's got a great voice. And he's always talkin' about his early childhood... so he must love kids!"
TIREE: "Well, there's this droid who's got this darn-hilarious novelty act... I'll see if I can track 'im down."
PORKINS: "And I've got a friend of a friend who's got the reputation of bein' the best breakdancer in the known universe... I think we'll do a pret-ty good job o' showin' our ol' emperor buddy the true meaning o' Christmas..."
   The pilots look at each other and are all smiles.

   The intro to "Jingle Bell Rock" starts up as scene ends, leading to a montage:

   Biggs is in the Mos Eisley cantina, chatting with the Bith band, who look at each other then nod to express their approval.
   Wedge is backstage with the Max Rebo Band. Sy Snootles thinks, looks over to Rebo, and gives a thumbs up. The rest break out into smiles.
   Hutch talks to a figure whose back is to the camera, getting his mask touched up with paint by an assistant. He gives the OK signal back to Hutch, who pumps his fist with enthusiasm.
   Tiree talks to Gonk. Gonk is motionless while Tiree blabbers excitedly, slaps it on the back, and laughs.

End montage.
 
 

ALDERAAN YOUTH CENTER

   Porkins and the gang are talking to a young female volunteer staff member. Slow jazzy version of "The Christmas Song" plays in the background as source music.

PORKINS: "Hi, ma'am, we're pilots from the Allia--"
   Tiree elbows him in the ribs, aware that the planet is still under Imperial control.

PORKINS: "Uh... The All-Star... Stunt... Flying... Team... Uh, we're here to save you guys from bein' shut down!"
VOLUNTEER: "What? I don't understand. We're already packing things up... We have to be out of here by tomorrow. The Empire--"
PORKINS: "Not if we can help it, ma'am! We've got a plan 'n everything! We'll raise enough money to keep this place up 'n runnin'!"
   Wedge looks out and notices the center's speeder bus is run-down.

WEDGE: "Hey guys, maybe we can even fix up that bus for the kids..."
TIREE: "No problem!"
PORKINS: "So, whaddaya say, ma'am?"
   The volunteer looks on in puzzlement, reluctantly nods. The guys smile, pat each other's backs.

   "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" kicks in, prompting another montage:

   The gang fixes up a stage, repairs the bus, passes out promotion flyers in the streets, pals around with the kids, makes moves on the volunteer lady,  watches the snow start to fall. Various incidents of slapstick and hi-jinks ensue (like two of them stopping in their tracks as they find mistletoe up above, then quickly getting out of each other's way). Action continues into the next day, as people line into the cafeteria.

End montage.
 
 

PORKINS: (onstage) "We'd like to thank you all for coming out to support these kids! Yeah! And we're sure you won't be disappointed with the great talent we've assembled for you folks! So without further ado, here's a... power droid... with the designation 'GNK-1'... Let's all give him a big hand!"
   Crowd applauds. Gonk steps out. Silence. Gonk commences "gonking" the first notes of "Jingle Bells." Awkward pause. He gonks the same notes again. The crowd looks around in confusion. The guys are off in the back, Tiree the only one enjoying the act, laughing hysterically. The others shrug, shake their heads, and smile.

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" starts up for... yet another montage:

   The Cantina Band plays away, and the crowd loves it.
   Porkins is seen in an eggnog-drinking contest and wins. The loser shakes his head in defeat.
   Max Rebo and company perform. Sy is dressed in a garish holiday outfit.
   Porkins wins another contest. The loser quickly runs out, covering his mouth.
   Boba Fett does his big band lounge act, snapping his fingers, pointing out to the ladies in the crowd. He backs up in front of the trombone player who, with eyes closed, whacks Fett's jet pack, which sends him off flying through the roof. ...The trombonist keeps playing.
   Porkins appears to be on the verge of losing a contest, but is able to down one last glass while his opponent is unable to finish his. With a look of nausea on Porkins' face, his hand is held up by Biggs in triumph.
   A stonefaced Lobot hits the stage floor to do some breakin', all without losing his Santa hat.
   Meanwhile, the guys get up to go backstage and prompt Tiree to join them, but he tries to refuse, and eventually gets pulled along.
   Lobot finishes up and flashes a "C" with one hand, "3" with the other ("Cloud City Cyborg").
   The gang heads out to do their wacky "reindeer" dance routine. Porkins has the Rudolph nose. The crowd erupts and the guys hold their arms up in each other's hands and bow.

End montage.
 
 

The audience has left, and only the kids and staff remain, who mingle with Porkins and company.

PORKINS: "Hutch, you go ahead and start readin' the story to the kids. I'll go get the big surprise ready."
HUTCH: "No problem."
   As we see Hutch finishing "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," a big commotion goes on at the other end of the room. It's Santa! The kids flock over to see him. He gives the thumbs up sign to the guys.

WEDGE: "Wow, is that Jek? 'Looks great!"
BIGGS: "Even the beard looks real."
HUTCH: "Aw heck, and I thought he was just gonna get the bus prepped to show the kids! Look at 'im! Haha!"
   "Santa" eventually drops off his big bag of toys and announces his departure. The kids wave good-bye as he exits.

TIREE: "I gotta hand it to him. He's got a heart bigger than the biggest Corellian cruiser!"
   The others nod and smile. Porkins suddenly enters from the door near them.

HUTCH: "Hey, that was awfully fast. What did you--"
PORKINS: "No time for that now! Hey kids! C'mon outside and check out the big present me and the boys here have for ya!"
   The kids file out and are excited at the sight of their overhauled bus. Porkins is at the controls.

PORKINS: "Whaddaya say we start this baby up?"
   Everyone cheers, and the lights go on. A look of distress appears on Porkins' face.

PORKINS: "Hold on, I've got a problem here..."
   Smoke spews out of the bus.

HUTCH: "Turn the engine off!"
PORKINS: "No, I can hold it."
   Small rumblings are heard.

TIREE: "Shut down all the systems!"
PORKINS:"No, it's all right! It's all righaaaaaaa!!!"
  The cockpit explodes, Porkins is sent flying off far overhead, but his landing is cushioned by a heaping pile of snow. The other guys run over to check on him. He comes to, and relief sets in.

BIGGS: "Boy, you and machines just don't seem to agree..."
TIREE: "We'll get that bus up and runnin' in no time. Hey, that was great what you did back inside for the kids, dressin' up as Santa. Heck, ya even had me fooled!"
PORKINS: "What? Did you knock your skull into a bulkhead? Santa? What're you talking about?!"
WEDGE: "That... WAS you in there as Santa wasn't it?"
PORKINS: "I was out here the whole time gettin' the bus warmed up! ...So...It wasn't one of you?"
BIGGS: "We were all there and thought it was... Heyyy, you don't suppose it could've been...?"
   Pause.

ALL: "Nahhhh."
   Suddenly bells and a hearty laugh can be heard overhead, and they look up and see Santa and his reindeer flying in front of the moon, off into the distance. Wide shot of the five pilots, scratching their heads, shrugging... Slow zoom out as "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" plays... Porkins is helped up, the kids run over to surround them, snow falls. Slow pan up across the sky, into the stars. The end.