"How Maul
Found the
Jedi on
Tatooine"
(An attempt to answer one
of Phantom's mysteries/oversights/plot holes. The first paragraph
is based on a piece of spam on the newsgroup at the time)
Darth
Maul forwarded a money-making holo-mail out to the ship. Something about
how one could make thousands in CREDITS within weeks with only an initial
investment of 6 credits, plus stamps(!)
Captain Panaka
wrote back, and after the events depicted in Episode I he became
wealthy beyond his wildest dreams and retired from the Naboo corps. He
and his lovely wife Darlene now reside on beachfront property on the luxurious
Southside of Theed, where they sip a Blue Milk-Daquiri every day and raise
two great kids. Panaka Jr's getting to be big and strong just like his
old man. Gonna be a ballplayer someday!
Obi-Wan Kenobi,
skeptical of and enraged by the hokey-sounding "spam," remained a Jedi
Knight who would continue to endure long hours of travel and put his life
on the line every day, all while earning a meager per diem. He was essentially
forced into early retirement after most of the Jedi were wiped out by one
of his own students, and would go on to spend his remaining years in the
scathing heat of the desolate Tatooine desert with much disgrace... and
a meager pension plan.
While for a short
time Kenobi did see marginal success from operating a small tech shop there,
that went belly-up after a big-time Toschi Station megastore moved in across
the street.
One highlight
of Kenobi's career was his defeat over the aforementioned Darth Maul. Earlier,
Maul himself had replied to the very investment offer he had sent out...
His first check arrived the day after his death.
The End.
NEXT
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