9. Hoping to cash in on booming market economy, recently announced a public stock offering for his beard

8. Has shied away from DVD technology only because he goes into a deep trance whenever he looks at those pretty colors on the shiny sides of the discs

7. Was once found wandering into people's homes dazed and confused while rambling about the mythological significance of pie

6. Jealous of Steven Spielberg's consistent commercial and critical success, has insisted that those rumors from the '80s that the two of them are the same guy are true

5. Won't be voting for Bush because he's afraid he'd get replaced as the world's most powerful "George W"

4. After all these years, still suffering from head trauma inflicted during his A New Hope cameo

3. Those Australian crew members weren't upset with him because of his demanding, overbearing, workaholic nature, but because he'd always force them to join him in his all-out rendition of Who Let the Dogs Out

2. Got so pumped up from ILM's demonstrations of latest visual effects breakthroughs, he threw a broken bat in the general direction of a stunned Dennis Muren

1. After finally getting the original Star Wars trilogy to meet his vision by 100%, his head exploded