Lauren Truesdell remembers the day her first-grade teacher in Williamsville, N.Y., gave her class
an unusual assignment. Thousands of American soldiers were faraway in the deserts of Southwest
Asia. They would not be home for Christmas. It was  up to the class to make holiday cards for
some of them.

Lauren knew nothing about Saddam Hussein, Kuwait, Iraq or even war itself. She knew about
Christmas, though. It was supposed to be a time of joy. She remembers cutting up construction
paper in the shape of a Christmas stocking and addressing it "Dear Soldier."

About 7,000 miles away, Fred Willoughby, a welder with a U.S. Navy Seabee unit serving in the
Saudi Arabian seaport of Al-Jubayl, was coping with the loneliness and boredom of deployment
making metal flowers for his unit's "garden" outside their living quarters. The flowers were amusing.
They eased some of the holiday blues. But they were not real.

Then Willoughby received a Christmas card from a 6-year old girl addressed only "Dear Soldier."
"It meant a lot to me,"  said Willoughby of Columbus.

"It let me know that somebody cared."

Lauren remembers receiving Willoughby's reply. Almost instantly, she said, she became interested
in what he was doing in the military in a land so far away. "I was the only person who got a
response," Lauren said. "Being so young, it kind of hit home with me. It was something I didn't
know anything about."

The two exchanged letters again. Willoughby received a Valentine's Day card and answered with
another letter to Lauren, saying he planned to continue writing to her when he returned home to
Columbus.

"When you think of a 6 year-old," Willoughby said, "you don't think they're going to keep on
writing, writing and writing. But she did. And I thought, 'If she keeps on writing, I will, too.' "

That was 12 years ago. The two have been writing each other since. Though they've never met,
Fred and his wife, Ursula, have never missed one of Lauren's birthdays or Christmases -- at first
sending her jewelry or stuffed animals and, later, money. The Willoughbys won't miss her high
school graduation today in New York, either. There, they will meet Lauren for the first time.

"She's become like our own," Ursula Willoughby said. Fred Willoughby, a foster child who never
knew his parents, said he has learned you don't have to be blood-related to be family.

"Somehow we've bonded, Willoughby said. "We have nine grandchildren. She makes 10. The two
developed friendly rivalries over the years. Lauren, a Buffalo Bills football fan, would chide
Willoughby's support of the Atlanta Falcons.

Willoughby, meanwhile, once sent Lauren -- a New York Yankees fan -- an Atlanta Braves
T-shirt. "We've had a lot of fun," Willoughby said.

Lauren, now 18, said Willoughby's letters concentrated on her efforts in athletics and encouraged
her to stay in school. Even during junior high school years, when she was distracted from returning
Willoughby's letters, Lauren said Willoughby's interest in what she was doing persevered.

"I was touched by the fact that he was interested in my life and he didn't even know me." Lauren
said. "He gave me optimism about getting older. He's helped me realize what it's like to have a full
life when you're older and to cherish what you have now.

Willoughby said his wife cautioned him against being too overbearing in his letters, concerned that
he would push Lauren away.

"Ursula would tell me that I was harping on her," Willoughby said. "But every third letter or so I'd
ask her how she was doing in school. You've got to have a college education these days to get by."

Tonight, Lauren will give the salutatorian speech during her graduation ceremony at Williamsville
South High School. In the fall, she will attend Harvard University where she plans to run cross
country and track while studying international relations.

Lauren's mother said Willoughby had a hand in her daughter's direction.

"It always struck (Lauren) how someone, she didn't know encouraged her in sports and to stay in
school," Kim Truesdell said. "She got interested in wanting to know what's going on in the world
and why we have all these wars. I don't think she would've taken that path if she and Fred hadn't
been writing.

As part of her application to Harvard, Lauren wrote an essay about her relationship with Willoughby.

"Fred, I've never met you, but I've known you for as long as I can remember. You've experienced
war, and the precarious state of human life, but you remain upbeat and optimistic about the future
of the country and the world. And in these tumultuous times, we need more people like you. When
I grow up, I can only hope to be as good a person as you."

Ursula Willoughby, meanwhile, said Lauren's letters helped her husband through difficult times.
Like thousands of other Persian Gulf veterans, Fred Willoughby developed unexplained illnesses
during and after his deployment. He has not been well since. For about seven years after returning
home, he'd awake at night in sheets drenched with strange, oily sweat.

Willoughby has never told Lauren about his illness. He says there was no reason for her to know.

"Her letters meant a lot to me because of my husband." Ursula said. "He wrote to me from Saudi
Arabia and said he got a letter from a little girl in Buffalo and said he was going to keep on writing
her. Now it's been 12 years."

When the two finally meet, Lauren said she's not sure what she will say.

"I'll probably just say, 'Thank you for not giving up on me.' "

Willoughby plans to wear his military "dress blues" for Lauren's graduation."She first wrote to me
as a soldier." he said. "I think it's only right."

Contact S. Thorns Harper
at (706) 571-8516 or
sharper@ledger-enquirer.com

                                              

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