I've added some poems which I found in my "butterfly" daughter's things when I was clearing out after she passed away. Phyllis was killed in automobile wreck, in 1980. Sometimes it seems like yesterday. The loss of a child is something from which no parent ever fully recovers. This wreck was caused by a driver who was smoking pot and wasn't watching where he was going. It's easy to understand why I am so opposed to people driving under the influence. She was only 24 years old and left two sons.My oldest daughter, Linda, once described her sister, Phyllis, as the original "free spirit". I enjoyed these poems and hope you will.
Big blue eyes, sandy hair;
Cute little turned up nose;
Scratched up knees, some candy, please.
The fattest little toes;
A smile that makes the sun seem dim
A whine that urges you to strangle
A pout that make you want to weep;
A real live angel when he's asleep;
A thumb, well worn, his britches torn
I thank God for the day my son was born.
This was written for her son, Tommy when he was about five years old.
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997
Why? I am asked over and over.
If I had all the answers,
Wouldn't I explain it to you first?
The question should be: "When did it happen
Or perhaps, "Where is your head at?''
Why?
How do I begin to tell you?
How do I say it without the pain?
Why?
The romance has gone, feelings have changed.
Confusion has set in;
"When did it happen? you say.
When words went unspoken;
Your presence felt less often;
Small promises broken
Being myself is important to me.
Living to please other,
It just can't be.
Written just before her divorce.
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997
I give you all I have
My love, my heart, my caring .
I wish for you the best,
In a life that's made for sharing.
If I had only tried to achieve
A total change for you.
I can see the new pain in your eyes,
the ache of your heart, the sadness of your smile.
What memories we have.
What love you had to give for awhile
I miss your touch, your need, your loving presence.
I am becoming familiar with lonliness.
It is an all consuming, over-powering
emotion that I can't accept.
You were my life.
Without you there is an emptiness that can't be filled
Without you I am fragile, yet, I will become strong.
Composed after her divorce
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997
To be yours;
Ah the dream of all dreams,
To have and to hold from now until eternity.
From this day forward
I'm ready and willing
In sickness and health
So be it: I will be there until death;
Yes my darling, until death
And beyond
Do us part;
Never in our hearts, my man
We are one.
We will be as one through our lives
Distance has no meaning
Time is forever.
Our love is infiniite
With our minds and beings, we shall unite
We wil share our hopes, our secrets, our feelling
We are one
God shines his light
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997
I live alone.
It hasn't always been that way.
I can be alone in a crowd or just alone.
I have lived the lives of many and loved so few.
It's nice somethimes to open up the heart a little;
And let some hurt in.
It Proves I'm still alive, even tho I am alone.
The hurts and pains of life are many.
The joys; so few.
I hope someday to stop thinking in terms of one,
And start livng and loving and being a part of you.
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997
I will accept you as you are,
Love you for all you've been,
And pray for faith when things for us seem dim.
I've not too many wants and needs
My desires are very plain.
You are the one person in my 1ife
Who I've wanted to remain
I am sure our love is growing strong enough to sustain
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997
My 1ove, though I won't see you for awhile
I will carry the memory of your haunting smile.
I'll remember the laughter in your voice.
And the touch of your body so very choice.
My love, when you see me the next time,
You'll know that you have been tender on my mind,
I will have thought of you all my waking hours
And dreamed of the love that is only ours.
(c) Patricia D. Vance, February 19, 1997