LOVE AND MARRIAGE
SOURCE: As we traveled through India in the summer
of 1998 we created a Virtual Fieldtrip.
The diary entries that we posted regularly on the
internet provide primary source material for this lesson.
Entries specific to the wedding we attended can be found on
the following pages:
The Wedding page and Wedding Advertisements
RATIONALE: To examine and compare Indian and American culture in order to develop a better understanding of both.
CENTRAL ELEMENTS:
- Multicultural understanding
- Exploring tradition
- bringing the past to the present
STUDENT OUTCOMES: Students will:
- Examine the values that underly certain
traditions in their own as well as another culture.
- Discuss the repercussions of
these values.
- Compare and contrast the ways different cultures address an issue
such as finding a marriage partner.
- Consider the rational basis for the tradition
in each culture.
BACKGROUND NOTES/HISTORICAL CONTEXT: In India, the caste system has been outlawed in the
sense that no one may be discriminated against in terms of caste. There is in place an
affirmative action type program in which spaces are reserved for lower caste people in colleges
and government jobs. There is a movement to make such reservations required even for private
business. Theoretically, society should be blind to caste but to understand how deeply rooted
in Indian society are the castes you do not need to look further than the advertisements for
suitable mates.
These advertisements are put in the paper by a girl's/boy's parents or guardian. The ones you
see in the newspaper tend to be looking for mates for people 20 and over. Marriages for
younger couples is usually arranged within the circle of family and friends. The replies are
expected to come from the parents of the prospective bride or groom not from the prospective
bride or groom herself/himself. We talked to a woman whose son is 30 and a successful architect
in Philadelphia. She convinced him to marry and move back to New Delhi. He agreed and she
and her husband put an ad in the newspaper to find him a suitable wife. She received 500 replies. Of those
she selected 7. The first prospect proved to be the child of a couple who were separated--one
parent lived in Bombay and the other in New Delhi. She was rejected because of this. The
second prospect proved to be suitable in every way and was therefore approached. When the
architect son came to New Delhi for a visit, he met his prosective bride and, after several
meetings, he agreed that the match would work.
We have included a representative sample of ads. These have been taken verbatum from
actual newspapers in India. Some of the words will need decoding. Students
will enjoy doing this. We have provided a key to help you help them.
KEY:
- Brahmin - highest caste
- Fair - Indians are quite color-conscious. Light skin is preferred to dark skin. Young
men and women are very careful about not getting too much sun so as not to be
too dark.
- Homely - This refers to a girl's homemaking skills.
- 25/189/8,000 - age/height in centimeters/salary in Rupees-per-month
A government teacher in a New Delhi primary school might make 7-10,000 Rs
per month depending on experience. The exchange rate at this writing is
42 Rupees to the dollar so the salary would be $166-$238 per month. Teachers
also get a housing allowance and a small medical allowance. Secondary
teachers make more but government teachers in smaller cities and in rural areas are not
as well compensated. A person just out of college with not specific skills
will make about 3-5,000 Rs per month. Computer programers and engineers
make considerably more.
- Decent marriage - arranged marriage
- Convented - educated in a private school, preferably a religious school.
- Eng med - English medium - wants person who has gone to a school in which English was
the languaged used as a teaching medium. It indicates a certain class of
school--upper/middle.
- Initials: B.E. [Bachelor of Engineering]. B.Ed [Business Education], Mech [Mechanical
Engineering], MBA [Masters of Business Administration], MA Econ [Masters
in Economics], DME [Degree in Mechanical Engineering], DBM [Degree in
Business Management], MNC [Multinational Corporation], MSc [Master of
Science]
- No bar at all - caste not a consideration
- Hostel - a boarding house for students or working people - segregated by sex.
- Listings: These ads are listed under many categories--the advertisers choice. Many
of the labels denote castes--Jati, Khatri, Kshatriya, Yadav, etc.; while others
indicate language/state--Bengali, Tamil, Malayalam, Keralite, Rajput, etc.
Some of the labels indicate the desired profession, religion, or professional
degree of the bride/groom.
NOTE: There are also marriage ads which your students can access on the internet. These
are placed by Indians in the U.S. Click here to see
On-line Marriage Advertisements
NUMBER OF CLASS PERIODS: one 40 minute period
STRATEGIES/ACTIVITIES:
Whole class: Discuss how people in the US choose a mate.
Determine prior knowledge of actual wedding ceremony in the United States by brainstorming
components of a typical wedding. Read through the wedding page.
Discuss:
- The concept of Arranged Marriage.
- Advantages and disadvantages of marriage for love and marriage by arrangment.
- Assumptions made in each case.
Decode the advertisement page in pairs.
Assign one of the following:
- Write your own marriage ad.
- Write a Compare and Contrast Essay
EVALUATION/ASSESSMENT: Essays should be evaluated for examination of
underlying cultural assumptions, thoughtful discussion, parallel structure, and mechanics.
BIBLIOGRAPHY/APPENDIX: At high school level, outside reading might include:
ARRANGED MARRIAGE by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni ISBN 0-385-48350-3
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©bartels/eppley 1998
Dede Tisone-Bartels (tisone@hotmail.com)