I have very few memories of my father. He died when I was five. Of course I'm not sure how he died, they say its top secrect. How can I Navy Lawyer die in a top secret mission?

I never lacked for male role models, though. Uncle AJ, the man I was named for, who taught me how to fish and hunt, and "be a real man" as he called it. "Tine" daddy's buddy who taught me all about computers and electronics and gadgets. And then there was Harm, daddy's best friend.

One of my earliest memories of childhood is of Harm. It must have been right after daddy died. I remember that every one was at our house trying to "help mom". Uncle AJ was making the funeral arrangements that "mom wasn't up for." Aunt Sarah was trying to get mom to talk "it would make her feel better." Tine and Gunny were trying to decide which one was going to go to the store and get stuff for dinner. Finally he had had enough, Uncle Harm snapped and started telling everyone what they were going to be doing. I remember how shocked everyone was that he yelled at Uncle AJ.

Later that night, when I was supposed to be asleep, Uncle Harm snuck into my room and sat by my bed. He thought I was asleep so he never knew that I heard him.

~~~~~~~

You know AJ, right now you are going to be hearing a lot of people tell you that they know how you feel. Let me be the first to tell you, they don't. But I do. You see, I wasn't much older than what you are now when my father died.

Well he didn't actually die, he was shot down over North Vietnam, that's a place you'll learn about in history class some time soon. He was what they call MIA, meaning they didn't really know what happened to him. But I was determined, I promised myself that I wouldn't rest until I found out what happened to him. And I didn't. I let it consume me, it occupied my every thought and dream for twenty years. I finally found out what happened to him, though. And I was able to move on with my life. I guess what I'm saying is that I'll always be here for you, in whatever way you need. Just let me know what you need, and you've got it.

He broke down crying after that. He sat in my room all night, held my hand and cried. For his lost father, his lost childhood, my lost father, and my childhood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From that point on Uncle Harm was always my favorite. He was just the *best* at everything. He taught me how to build model airplanes, how to rebuild an engine, how to paint. I loved him as if he were my father.

I guess I'm having as hard a time as the rest of you believing that he is gone, too. I guess it's irony of some kind that he was killed doing what he loved the most. Flying. I was going through his things last night and I found some interesting tapes. He recorded them before he left for carrier duty the second time, in May 1999. That was twenty years ago. According to Aunt Sarah there were ones for his mom and step-dad, her, mom and dad, Uncle AJ, Tine and Gunny, and me. The only one I found was mine.

I haven't listened to it yet, but considering why he recorded them, I think it might be fitting to hear them now.

AJ reached under the pulpit and hit play on the stereo. Harm's voice drifted through the air.

"AJ if you're listening to this, that means I'm gone. I only hope that you know who I am. If you don't, my name is Lt. Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. I met your dad about four years ago on the USS Seahawk, he was a young Ensign trying to show a former Tomcat pilot around a carrier, but he didn't know I was a former pilot. I met your mom about a year later on the same carrier trying to do the same thing."

Despite the circumstances the crowd started laughing.

"I watched them bumble their way towards one another, and stumble their way away from each other once. Together with Mac, we helped them back to each other. Whatever they put you through, remember that they love you and each other very much. They are two of the best people God ever created."

AJ went over to his mom and put his arm around her.

"If you know me you probably know the story of my father, and if you don't have someone else tell you. But if something ever happens to your dad, and your mom finds someone else to love and love her. Give him a chance. Believe me your dad will never leave you willingly, so always be ready to give that new guy a chance."

He put his other arm around his step-dad.

"I made a promise to your parents when you were born that I would look out for you, make sure you do OK in life. Hopefully, I'm now doing that from above. Always know that you are in my heart, and that I am looking out for you. I love you AJ."

The tape clicked off. The whole congregation was in tears. AJ stepped back up to the pulpit.

I was lucky, Harm told me everything he wanted to while he was alive. But he has shown me that people shouldn't spend their lives hiding their feelings. They shouldn't die without telling the ones that they love how they feel. Jason, thanks to Harm I gave you a chance, but I don't think I've truly thanked you for loving her as dad would have. For being the dad that daddy couldn't have been. That he would have been. Uncle AJ, Tine, Gunny, you guys are the best. Aunt Sarah, you were the Aunt, big sister, humungous crush all rolled into one. And I'm really sorry for the frogs at the wedding. I know Semper Fi is the Marine motto and not the Navy one, but right now it just seems fitting.

Semper Fi, Harm.