He had come back to JAG fully expecting to be subjected to months of scut work as his punishment for leaving, that hadn't happened, he was still being given good cases to work on, but he definitely wasn't back in the Admiral's good books yet, he had been riding him pretty hard lately. Chegwidden had assigned him a new case the day before and had made it clear that he wanted the preliminary report within 48 hours. Harm didn't think he was going to make it. He had worked on it all evening and ended up getting very little sleep and he knew that he would be working very late today if he hoped to have the file on the Admiral's desk first thing in the morning.

He walked over to his desk and picked up a small portable cassette player. There was a jazz concert on the radio that evening that he didn't want to miss and he wasn't expecting to be home on time, so he decided to take the cassette player with him so that he could tape the show and listen to it when he finally had some time to relax.

He went over to his stereo to find a tape to use. He looked through the stack, most of these he wanted to keep, then his eyes fell on a small pile of tapes off to one side, the letter tapes he had made for his friends and family in case he hadn't returned from carrier duty. He had already been embarrassed once when Mac had found hers and he didn't need that to happen again - best to get rid of them he decided and took the top one off of the pile and slipped it into the cassette player. He then gathered up the rest of his things and left for the office.

Later that day

It was just before 7pm when Admiral AJ Chegwidden walked out of his office and into the bullpen. The area was now deserted, all of his people having left for the evening. He liked being here at this time, when everything was quiet. He noticed a light still on in Commander Rabb's office and walked towards it.

He looked inside - there was no sign of the Commander, but his briefcase and cover were still there and there were papers strewn all over the desk, he must have gone to records for some information.

He saw the radio on the bookcase across the room and he smiled to himself, the Commander must have been expecting to put in a long day on that report. AJ wasn't a vindictive man and deep down he understood Harm's reasons for leaving JAG and he couldn't help but be proud of the way his young officer had distinguished himself in the air. Even so, there was a part of him that was still a little hurt that his protege had walked out on him and he couldn 't help giving him a little bit of a hard time.

He had walked over to the window, but now, as he turned to walk back to the door, he passed the radio and something caught his eye. Through the clear plastic door on the front, he could see his name written on the cassette tape. He frowned and reached over to press the Play button, after a few seconds he heard Harm's voice.

"Sir, I say these words as I prepare to leave for Pensacola, because I don't want things to end between us the way they did when I left your office."

AJ hit the stop button and looked out into the bullpen. There was no sign of Harm returning. He knew he shouldn't be listening to this uninvited, but his curiosity got the better of him and he pressed the Play button again.

"There was a lot that I wanted to say to you, but I can understand why you didn't want to hear it.

You feel that I am making a big mistake and, in terms of my career, I know that you are right.

One of my earliest memories is of being aboard the Hornet with my father, watching the planes take off and land on the deck. I sat in a cockpit for the first time and, even at that early age, I knew that was where I belonged. My father was my hero, he was everything I wanted to be. As I grew up the desire to be just like him became all consuming. I dealt with the pain of not having him with me by telling myself that he wasn't gone, that one day he'd come home and I was determined that when he did I would be a son that he could be proud of - an officer and a pilot just like him. When I achieved that dream, every time I flew I felt like my father was right there with me.

When I had my accident and realised that I would lose my flight status, for a while I felt like my life was over. I didn't know who I was any more, all of my life I had been Harmon Rabb Jr, Naval Aviator - who was I now?

When I made the decision to study law I did so not really believing that I could ever be happy out of a cockpit and when I first came to JAG it was hard for me to find my way. I attacked an investigation in the same way that I had gone into a mission as a pilot and I know I ruffled a lot of feathers, but in time I came to love the law and my new life became better that I had ever hoped it could. A big factor in that was your arrival at JAG, Sir. I had many commanding officers, some good, some not so good, but in you I found more than a CO. I found someone who would guide me in my new life. A man I respected enough to listen to and who's opinion I valued. You challenged me, you gave me room to make mistakes and put up with more from me than I had a right to expect you to, not least my search for my father. Even when you disagreed with my choices you still stood by me and I know that, on many occasions, you had to defend those decisions to your superiors. I can't thank you enough for giving me the space to continue my search.

When I discovered the truth about my father, another void was left in my life - for so many years my search for him had been my main focus. I'd always had something to strive for, first flying and then finding him, but where did I go from there. Finding out that I might be able to fly again was like a door opening that had once been slammed in my face. The greatest love of my life had been returned to me. I know you don't understand, I don 't expect you to because I don't really understand it myself, all I know is that I have to do this. As much as I have enjoyed my time at JAG, I know that in the air is where I belong.

If you are listening to these words, then this love of mine has taken my life and I hope that those I love will at least understand that I died doing what I truly feel I was born to do.

I have asked a lot of you over the years, but I have one more thing to ask of you, Sir. The worst thing about knowing that I may not come home is that I leave behind people that I love and I ask you to watch over them for me. I know that my return to flying is hard on my mother, but I also know that she is strong and that Frank will take care of her.

Bud and Harriet have each other, but I know that you will always be there to support and guide them when they need you. I made a promise to them to be there for their son and I regret not being able to fulfil that promise. Watch over your little namesake for me, I don't know what kind of a father I would have made and I thank God that I don't leave behind a son to miss his father the way I did mine, but I know that you will be able to offer AJ the same fine guidance and support that you have so often given to me.

My final request to you is for my partner. I know that in leaving JAG I have given up the right to have her as my partner, but I will always think of her that way. I also know that I have hurt her, although I believe that she does understand, perhaps better than anyone. I always found it difficult to talk about my feelings and to tell people face to face how I feel about them - it's something I think you can probably relate to Sir, but I have to believe that deep down Mac knows.

I know that many times she disagreed with my decisions, but she was still there to support me. She likes to show the world that she is a tough Marine and I have many times marvelled at her strength, both physically and emotionally, but I know that, like me, you have also seen the other side of Mac - the side that is vulnerable and needs comfort and reassurance. I have always tried to be there for her on the rare occasions that she has let this side be seen, but I will no longer be there to provide that shoulder to cry on and I ask you to watch over her for me.

I may not have had a father with me, but I count myself very lucky to have had someone to guide me, challenge me, yell at me when I was being an idiot, counsel me when I didn't know what to do, push me beyond what I thought were my limits, support me even when I refused to take his advise and care enough to show his displeasure when he thought I was making the wrong choices in my life.

Thank you Sir for everything you have given me. It truly was a pleasure to serve under you."

After a few seconds AJ hit the `Stop' button and then `Rewind'. He stood there for a moment. He had always thought that if he had a son he would be just like Harm - at least he hoped he would. Maybe that was why Harm frustrated him so sometimes, in many ways they were very much alike.

He had always known deep down that the younger man also held him in high regard - he had made that clear many times when he had shown his willingness to risk his career and on occasion even his life to come to his CO's aid, but hearing him put his feelings into words brought a lump to AJ's throat.

He swallowed hard and walked out of the office and back towards his own, almost colliding with Harm heading back to his desk with an armful of files.

"Commander", he said, "working late?"

"Yes Sir, you'll have that report you need first thing in the morning."

AJ looked into the younger man's eyes, "You look tired Commander, my meeting with SecNav isn't until late afternoon tomorrow, why don't you go home and get a decent nights sleep and attack it again in the morning."

"Well Sir," Harm said, slightly surprised, "I guess I could use a break."

"Good, then I'll see you in the morning", AJ told him, "and Commander, keep your diary free for lunch tomorrow, we haven't really had a chance to sit down and talk since you got back, I've yet to get a first hand report of your adventures over Kosovo."

"Yes Sir, I'd like that." Harm wore a puzzled frown as he watched his CO walk back to his office, then he shrugged his shoulders and headed to get his briefcase and cover. Maybe he'd get home in time to sit and listen to that concert after all.