Coming to Blows
Ali Cherry
The personnel in the bullpen groaned loudly as the lights flickered and dimmed.
“Tiner!” The gunny yelled as the bell in the elevator began to scream, the red dot flashing up then down in time with the incessant 'wham.'
“I didn't do it, Gunny.” Tiner peaked his head out of his office.
“Tiner!” The Admiral's voice pierced through the walls and the young man scurried back into his office area.
“Help! Help!” Lt. Aldridge wheezed onto the third floor. Clutching his side he banged into the glass doors. “Help!”
The gunny ran to his side and helped him to straighten as he tried to get his breath.
“Where's the emergency, Lt.”
“The elevator.” The Aldridge whispered.
“You were in the elevator?”
“No, I took the stairs when I saw who was in it.”
“What? What are you talking about, Sir? Who was in it?”
“Rabb! Mackenzie! They were riding up together alone. I didn't want to get on with them. They were already fighting when they got in.”
“Shit! Fuck! Tiner! I need help here, Tiner!” The Gunny dropped Lt. Aldridge and Lt. Singer stepped over his prone body.
Tiner came running. “We need those people out of the elevator now, Tiner.”
“Why? What's going on?”
“Rabb.”
“Okay and? He's not claustrophobic.”
“And Mackenzie.”
“Shit! Fuck! I'm on it, Gunny.” Tiner ran to his desk and began to shuffle through his Rolodex.
“What's going on out here, Gunny?” The Admiral screamed as he thrashed out his door. The NCOs began to run for cover.
“We're working on it, Admiral.”
Screaming could now be heard from the elevator shaft.
“Would someone get those people out of the elevator.” The Admiral ordered.
“That's first priority, sir.”
“What? Why?”
“Sir. It's Mackenzie and Rabb in the elevator.” Aldridge wheezed from the floor.
“How do you know that?” The Admiral peered down at the broken man on the floor.
“I saw them get in,” Alvin rested his head down. “It was horrible, sir.”
“Tell me about it, Son.”
“Well sir. I parked my car and walked into the building…”
“Wohowhowhowhwo.”
“Cut it out, Lt. Roberts.”
“Yes, Sir!”
~~A little while ago
Aldridge walked into the building and made his way to the elevators waiting, where he found an argument in progress.
“You stole my spot.”
“I did not. I parked in my spot.”
“You stole mine!”
“You're being childish, Colonel. We always parked the same way by height of car! The Admiral's, then mine then yours. It's not my fault you wanted Barbie's car.”
“Fuck off, Flyboy.”
“Bite me, Bitch!” Harm yelled as he walked into the waiting elevator. Mac grabbed his hand and bit down. “Fuck! That hurt!”
“You told me to do it, Asshole!” The door closed as Alvin continued to stare at the spot where his commanding officers had stood. Suddenly the power failed and Alvin was left contemplating the meaning of those two stuck in an elevator together.
“Shit! I have to warn them!” Alvin started running up the flight of stairs.
~~ Now
“Good job man. Let's see if we can get the doors open so we can find out if they're okay.”
“It may already be too late, sir!” Lt. Roberts commented from where he was shelling peanuts for himself, Mattoni and his wife, Harriet. Singer walked up and grabbed some from Mattoni's hand.
“Hey, those were mi—“
“Shut up, your just a man! . . . . Sir!” Singer walked away.
“Okay, Let's get these doors open.”
The Admiral, Gunny and Tiner put their muscle into it, as the women of Jag watched with interest.
~~End pt.1~~
When we last saw our Scooby Gang, they were gathered in the hall outside the bullpen gathered around the men trying to open the elevator doors, their glut . . . gluti. . . The men's asses straining, their buns warming, their pants clinging to everything as . . .if . . . It were a second . . . ::::Slap! Back on track!:::: Oh yeah, ummm…Where was I? Oh yes, Our gang was gathered around the elevator watching the Gunny, Tiner and the Admiral wrestle with the door, their butts hanging out for all to see . . .Wow :::Slap, skip that part:::: Yes Sharon.
The doors opened with a quiet star trek like swish. The group cheered.
“Hi guys, what are you doing?” Jordan Parker walked up to the group.
Everyone groaned.
“What's wrong?”
“Rabb and Mackenzie are stuck in the elevator together.” Harriet whispered to her.
“Oh! This is a great thing! Maybe now they'll start to see what everyone else see's.”
“What are you talking about, doctor Ditz?” The Admiral shouted.
“That they're meant to be together.”
“What? Why would you think that?” Harriet asked, her face a puzzlement.
“They're always giving each other the looks.”
“What looks?” Bud shelled more peanuts popping them in his mouth.
“Quit eating those, you're on a diet!” Harriet said sharply.
“But we're the Peanut Gallery!”
“The Peanuts never had a three hundred pound blockhead now did they.” Harriet ripped the bag of peanuts from his hands.
Jordan ignored them. “Well anyway, maybe I could help them. I'm sure it's just sexual tension overload. I'm surprised that it hasn't blown before.” Jordan got down on her knees and looked into the dark shaft. The Gunny mimicked kicking her in the ass. The crowd laughed.
~~Meanwhile in the elevator
Sniff, sniff.
“What the hell are you crying about?” Harm asked looking at her in horror.
“I'm not crying I think I caught a disease when I bit you.”
“Oh blow it out your cunt!”
“I would never cry over scum like you.”
“Oh that's right, the only time you've ever cried was when I left. 'Or poor me! I'm crying cause your leaving but just as soon as you're out that door, I'm gonna steal your job and hop into the sack with the first thing resembling the male species I can find!' I'm sure you missed me a whole bunch!”
“You fucking asshole!”
“Watch your mouth, Colonel! It's not nice for ladies to use such language.” Harm put his finger to his chin. “That's right there are no ladies here!”
“What about you, Officer and a gentleman my ass!”
“You have a lovely ass, it must come from all those men groping it to get to the top, ehh, colonel! How was he, tell me. I bet it took two or three sessions to get you that Lt. Colonel position, huh.”
“I wouldn't talk, you're the equivalent of a male whore.”
“Four women, does not a whore make.”
“Four women! I'm the DNO! You've slept with everyone of your partners except me!”
“I've never slept with any of my partners!”
“Oh yeah! Then how did Caroline know that you had that nice little pucker mark on your ass! And how did Harriet know that your nipples do that thing when you're in the shower.”
“My ass has never, nor will it ever have a pucker mark. And secondly, what fucking Nipple thing are you talking about.”
“Take off your shirt and I'll show you.”
“No way in hell!”
“Hello!” Echoed from above. “Maybe I can help!”
“Fuck off, Jordan!” They shouted simultaneously.
“What the hell were you thinking, penis head?”
“She's a good lay, lousy conversationalist, but boy can she ride!”
“You love thinking with your little man, don't you.”
“It isn't little.”
“Sure it isn't, and I'm Barbara Walters.”
“Yet another woman I would sleep with before you!”
“I can't believe I bared my soul to you in Australia!”
“Bared your soul! HAHAHA!!!! That's great. Real rich.”
“I did!”
“You did not, you played the hokey poky with your ass!” Harm started humming the hokey pokey song.
::::Everyone sing with me. You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all about! You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around! That's what it's all about! Way too many skate parties when I was younger!:::::::
“I was giving you a direct link to my heart and you gave me that, can't let go, Sarah Shit!”
“You call, 'are we going to wait that long?' a direct link to your heart!” Harm started to clap his hands and slam his head against the wall. “That's hilarious!”
“What about you, Mr. I can't let go yet! Please! The only thing you can't let go of is Mr. Goodbar there!” Mac pointed down to Harm's lap. “How many Peanut's does he need shell before he's ready for consumption.”
“I'll have you know that Fred here is just particular about where I put him!”
“Yeah any hole in the wall will do! 'Look mum! The wall swallowed me!'”
“Very funny! At least I don't need a vibrator to get off.”
“Nope any old hairy palm will do!”
“Maybe you should try holding hands!” Jordan said from above.
“I said Fuck off!” The two shouted to the ceiling.
“That's an order you two!” The Admiral's voice shouted.
Mac stuck out her tongue. “Somebody's in trouble.”
“Stick a dick in it!” Harm shouted to Mac. “Give me your hand, you tramp.” Mac held out her hand. “Ouch! Why the hell did you plant your claws in my hand? God dammit I'm bleeding!”
“Serves you right, you dick head.”
~~In the hall
“Oy! It's going to be a long day!” The Admiral said as he stood up, every bone in his body crackling with age. Everyone snickered. “Back to work!”
“But sir!” Bud whined. “It's dark in there. I'm afraid of the dark.”
“Then take your wife, make another baby, whatever, just be gone!”
“Come on honey.” Bud grabbed a hold of Harriet's hand and began to run for the office.
“Oh yes! Bud! Oh, there, baby, there! Oh Oh OHHHHH! I'm coming, I'm coming!” Harriet moaned as they dashed down the corridor.
Jordan looked at the running couple. “They're next.”
The Admiral leaned over the dark hole. “You two do whatever doc ditz says and I forget everything that's been said today, understood? If not you're both going in for Psych evals.”
“Yes, sir.” Came the slow and surly remarks. The Admiral walked away, leaving Jordan with her ass in the air talking to Mac and Harm in the elevator below.
Jordan looked down the dark shaft . . . tunnel. “Okay Harm, Mac. You're holding hands?”
~~End pt 2
“I can't believe I'm doing this.” Harm muttered as he and Mac stood facing each other, their hands clasped painfully tight.
“Okay Mac, I want you to take off your shirt and bra.” Jordan yelled down to them.
“What? Why?” Mac glared at Harm. “This is all your fault you're the one that slept with her, now I have to pay for it.”
“I never said it was one of my smarter moves. Now hurry up so that we don't get busted.”
“Cork it.” Mac started to undo the buttons on her blouse, Harm looked away yawning.
“Are you done yet?” Jordan asked cheerfully.
“You may wear a training bra, but it takes the rest of us females a little longer to undress.”
“Hey lay off Jordan. Her casabas are very nice.” Harm stepped back from Mac giving her a glare.
“Hurry up, he talks to much.” Jordan complained from above.
“Okay there.” Mac shucked her bra and watched as Harm's gaze went down, his flag went up and face went slack with male awe. “Bing Bing Bing! We have male reaction.”
“Don't get too complacent. He make look like an ordinary male, but trust me, he still has free will. Try to get closer.” Jordan wiggled above, kicking off her heels and leaned further into the cavern.
Mac stepped closer to Harm.
He took a step back. “We shouldn't do this. We can't do this. It is illogical.” Harm repeated tonelessly as he continued to gaze at her breasts.
“Now what?” Mac called. “How am I supposed to deal with whatever this is?”
“Jordan! She's talking too much. I can't do this if she keeps talking.” Harm whined like a little boy.
“Okay, Harm. I want you to take off your jacket and drop your trousers and boxers.”
“I can't believe I slept with her.” Harm grumbled as he stripped he jacket off and undid his belt.
Mac's eyes went wide as she trailed her gaze down the white shirt to where his Mr. Goodbar stood proudly.
“You're huge.” She commented.
From above they heard Jordan's giggles.
“You're Barbara Walters.”
“Shut up. No wonder you're all dick no brain.”
“Enough you two.” Jordan yelled down at them. “Now Harm. Invade her personal space.”
“But Jordan—“
“Do it!” She screamed, her face as green as the wicked witch of the east.
Harm stepped closer, Mac stepped back, Harm stepped closer, Mac stepped back and into a wall. Harm stepped closer.
Mac's face turned ferocious. Her eyes gleamed black in the emergency lighting of the elevator. With a snarl she launched herself at Harm. Her mouth tore into the flesh at his cheek. He grabbed the sides of her head with her fingers and yanked it back with a howl of pain. He gazed intently in her eyes.
“Your body to my body!” He slammed his head into hers, raping her mouth with his tongue, he pulled back to bite her lip, taste her blood.
She screamed and ripped her fingernails up his back. He shouted his pain to the heavens, begging for more.
“You're mine Mac!” He screamed as he lowered his mouth and hand to her breast. He bit down painfully yanking her nipple with his hands.
“Oh, god Harm. Like that! You're my mate!” Mac reached down and Smacked Mr. Goodbar hard. Harm sunk to his knees in pain. With a sudden violence, he began to claw at Mac's panty hose, running and ripping the near indestructible fabric.
~~In the Hall
Jordan backed away from the tunnel of painful screams below; she stood up, as the others from the bullpen came running. She looked at the amazement on everyone's faces. She looked down afraid that she would see that Harm had shoved Mac through the top of the elevator.
“Harm you should sing to her now. Something that expresses your feelings toward her.” Jordan said hopefully.
~~In the Elevator
Harm stopped his clawing at Mac's legs and sat back. He looked up at Mac and thought. He grinned.
“All your metal armor drags me down! Nothing hurts like your Mouth, mouth, mouth, your mouth, mouth, mouth.” Harm started head banging, his little spike of hair bobbing up and down.
Mac screamed and lunged at him. They fell backwards as Mac started to claw at Harm's shirt. Harm ripped at Mac's skirt. It tore in two down the center. Mac slammed her hips down as Harm smashed his hips up and they collided with painful screams.
“Your too big.”
“Your too small.”
“Shut up.” They said together rocking and rolling, grunting and screaming in pain.
~~In the Hall
Bud and Harriet came out of his office, Harriet wearing little more than Bud's cover on her head and Bud with his pants and boxers around his ankles. Luckily for the Jag group gathered around the doorway his jacket and shirt covered everything.
“What's that noise?” Harriet asked.
“It sounds like the mating ritual of a Vulcan and a Klingon.” Bud told her, giving the Admiral a peek of butt crack as he turned around to tell her.
“Are Vulcan's those guys with metal in them?” Aldridge asked.
“No they're the one's with no emotions.”
“That sounds like Harm alright. Wham Bam, thank you Commander.” Commander Imes put in from her place on the copier.
WHAM, BAM! The elevator car shifted on the track, everyone was silent. The Admiral let one rip. The group held their breaths as he turned around.
“God dam Admiral's privilege.”
“Yes sir.” Bud squeezed out trying to breath through a small slit in his mouth.
“Oh God what's that smell!” Harm's voice drifted up from the grunts of pain and passion below.
“It's the Admiral's. It's disgusting and lasts a long time, but it really turns me on.”
“Oh God! Yes! Ouch, I don't think my back can take this. Oh God Mac you're hurting me!” The words petered out into screams of pain.
“I . . . I don't understand why they're being so brutal.”
“Its part of being a Marine, ma'am.” The Gunny said primly. “If you'll step over here to this storage closet I'll demonstrate.”
“Demonstrate? How?”
“Right this way ma'am.”
“Okay.” Jordan followed the Gunny into the storage closet where Tiner had the camcorder set up. A whip crack was heard as Jordan moaned in pleasure.
“Oh yes, Mr. Galindez sir. Yes.” Sighs and Pants came from the door as Tiner hurried over to his computer to watch the “Gunny Cam” on the web.
The power leaped on, and the staff held their breath as the door binged open quietly. Inside stood Harm butt cheeks for all to see, legs quivering and covered with semen sliding rapidly down his legs and Mac, lying over his arms fully sedated, her boobs flopping around wildly. The two broke apart quietly. Redressed and walked out of the car, leaving torn walls, scratched wood and bloody carpet.
The staff watched them walk calmly towards their offices as if nothing had happened. The SecNav stepped into the hallway from the stairwell and looked at the staff in confusion.
“What's going on here?”
“Lelolator go up, lelolater go down, lelolater gets stuck and Mac and Harm go pound, pound, pound.” Mattoni said from where he was playing with his yo-yo.
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