Friendship "ranks with marriage and kinship as one of the most important relationships, but nobody celebrates it formally as we celebrate marriage and the birth of children." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)

T H I N G S to D O

Here are some things to do to maintain, enhance and support a relationship with someone you care about that is not a part of your family. (This separate section for friends in lieu of inclusion with the family is provided because we choose our friends and not your family. There is also a different kind of relationship between friends and members of your family. Emotionally, family members may take you for granted or say things in a manner they would not say to a friend. Although we should be just as careful with our words for the family we love, in reality we do not always practice loving choices of words.)

1. Write a letter or call on the telephone someone from your past who was a friend that you would like to reestablish contact. Maintain the relationship in the future by correspondence if they're out of town.

2. Include friends in your family rituals and traditions including reunions. Share their experiences as part of the family support system; include them in your history; they are important contributors too.

3. Share a private thought or issue that you may need help with resolution. This shows support, trust and confidence as well as solving your problem. Be available for the reciprocal situation.

4. "Friends must balance the inclination to be open and honest with one another with the need to be protective of each other's feelings. Sharing doesn't mean unloading on a person." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)

5. Send a personal greeting or picture from high school or other event to celebrate an anniversary or birthday; something that would be unusual and unexpected.

6. Enroll in a class together or share a hobby.

7. Join a charitable community organization, sports club or similar group and work together for the benefit of your city as well as share the experiences

8. Give a plant for your friend's garden to commemorate the friendship and provide a lasting reminder of the relationship.

9. Send a surprise gift in the mail for no apparent reason of apples, oranges or honey when in season.

Remember this:

Tell your friend how much you appreciate him/her and value the friendship. A few kind words can be an invaluable and long remembered gift."Random kindness and senseless acts of beauty" also apply.

Resources:

Book:"Among Friends: Who We Like, Why We Like Them, and What We Do With Them" by Letty Cottin Pogrebin.