LIFE TIMES PAGES
...being some events and experiences of life as I've known it...
the roller coaster ride gets even more wild when you depend on others oh a trusting child can be so defiled (even if they don't mean to) (most don't know what they do) another typical roller coaster week... it would be much more fun shared, so anybody like me out there who enjoys roller coasters wanna share some life?... alas, after a while, it's not much fun alone... and I am still alone... the big news this week is I am out of Fagan's lair, ummm, condo apartment... yes Oliver Swift, I've graduated to a better place... different challenges and far from ideal or what I was looking for (no amenities, smaller room, and no water pressure) but definitely more comfortable as I can actually share the space and Aim, my new roommie, is not Fagan... in other words, I think we can share the space without a book of detailed rules... I can relax J the other big news is I've got a partial job... the job search continues so please pass my continue passing my resume around... the two high end positions appear to be passing me by... alas, being out of the field for more than 10 years does not make me the prime candidate for positions at that level... it looks like I'll need to take a middle level position and work my way back up if I really want to play that game again... thought I will in the right environment for more than 30K... maybe... I might be better off starting at the bottom at an hourly position and using overtime to build the bank account back up... then consider moving into the right salaried position later... so anyway, it appears as if I actually have been hired for the on call staffing job, finally... the bad news is the place is disorganized and needs a lot of help... the good news is I should be able to set up my own system and have relative autonomy (because there's much disarry now)... I get a phone, a cell phone, and a couple of hundred a week for what should be part time work... we shall see... otherwise, the job search continues and is chronicled in worklife (at least that is the plan, for whatever plans are worth)... the car is back and the brakes actually work... we'll work out payment when Aim gets back... she's almost too good to be true... the bills continue piling up, but at least survival income has been secured (though I'll count it when I actually start getting it) and I thought I was more secure and comfortable and 2001 really was starting out as a new and much better year... note the past tense already?... believe in people... the best laid plans, and why I don't... Aim seemed great and means well and reassured me that she's my friend and wants to help me (trust is becoming more and more challenging for me as I have been trusting others who pull the rug out from under me for the last half of the last decade)... so after a few days of getting comfortable, I install a new phone line (another hundred bucks, that makes the third newly installed phone line for the year, like I can afford it, just cuz I don't seem able to find a place to live for more than a few months... wait, I'm grumbling for a reason) and unpack and move in more than I've moved in anywhere in years... and by the end of the week I'm smiling about the move and believing I'll stay here at least until the summer when I hope to have all the bills paid off and maybe be able to get my stuff down here... well, that was the initial helping idea she practically insisted on (and even paid for before I could say no)... but you know about thing that seem too good to be true?... sometimes they are... maybe most times... so after a week of cleaning and investing in the place and taking a job specifically dependant on the stability of the phone line I installed, there's a message... I half expected it, but wanted to believe Aim when she said it wouldn't happen... my instincts knew better... Aim is away for the month and I'm supposed to be watching the place and staying a few months to help her after she gets back... but she changed her mind and wants the place to herself when she gets back, so... yup, I'm homeless again and need to pack up and find a new place asap... just wish I waited another week before installing the phone line cuz I definitely did not need that extra bill... but then I wouldn't have gotten the on-call part of the staffing job I waited any longer... so... if anybody want to live with a real nice guy who keeps to himself and respects roommates? (even when they want me out... hey, gotta keep a sense of humor about things or life sucks, ya know?) J well, life might still suck, but we still can enjoy it if we find the right people to share it... hey right person, you out there reading?... come on, let me know already... we can find a new place together and relax and have fun J another major pain in the just about everywhere this week has been an outbreak of bite-like itchies on my lower legs... I ramble on in the journal about it and I think after all the serious and irreverent possibilities, I'm focusing on these little bugs I've found crawling around in this space and I'm not sure if they're fleas or actually the cause, but the itchies have been driving me crazy (and distracting me) for most of the week... enough so that I impulsively bought some cream for itching when I went for the newspaper... I haven't used the cream yet... I don't like chemicals or drugs much (rarely take aspirins even... this, of course, had an exception during the party years mentioned somewhere in these rambles, but that's another story and another time)... so I'll grumble, growl, scream, cry, and whimper untill I can do nothing else but laugh (hoping someone will come along and really care enough to really help me out of the repeating rut I've slid into over the last decade)... and don't let it all bring me down J anyway, I'll ask Aim if she's noticed anything (she might once she gets back) and if it's fleas (there were cats here and one will be returning, but they're away for the moment) they can be hard to get rid of and anyway, I shall spray and do my best to not scratch and help Aim get rid of them... hopefully I can find another place before she gets back (realistically, a decent job must be found this week or I'll find myself in the same living situation for the fourth time in the past year... please no)... there's always my car, been there before and it makes a professional appearance almost impossible... grown up life can be so much fun, huh?... kids, don't try this at home (weird laughter follows) J you can find more details in the journals and other personal writings (links below)... and the gardens continue growing if you'd like to see what happens when words, rhymes, life, fantasy, and whatever else might appear come together in my head... and I still wish for the one here in the real physical world who will read and love me for everything I am and can do and create with me the world we both want... there must be another like me in this world... it might be such a waste of life if we don't find each other... yeah, you... until you arrive, at least for this week, Janeane Garofalo fantasies will have to suffice J strangely, the email groups continue to attract people as new members join each week, but most still remain silent... especially the local Orlando groups... I don't have much to say because I'm not working, flat broke, and don't have the means to go out and do much to meet people these days and I don't want to live online and spend much time in cyber-sharing cuz I don't have much room on this laptop and I want to find life offline... I don't know what the rest of the people are waiting for... if you join, especially if you're local and crazy like me, let me know and maybe we can stimulate the group you joined (or each other even) J meanwhile, I'm gonna eat a midnight pizza... well, it's 2AM... I have to be at the staffing office tomorrow for some more training... at least that's what they call it... I think it's more a matter of having me show up so the VP can get used to me and learn to trust me... he has a problem with trust, he says... anyway, I think I had to be there 11AM, but I'll get up early and call and confirm... anyway, that's tomorrow, back now and to the 2AM midnight pizza... would love to share it with a real friend so I hope one calls soon (it's getting cold) J that's all... the news that I must rush to find another place and pack up and move everything yet again has me kinda bummed so I'm not finding all that much personality to liven up the babbling... hey, I just got the news today so give me a day or two to digest it and cheer up... everything passes, ya know... yeah... so when does the come around part get here again? 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