A Journal of Sorts
. o O ( of course I should be sleeping ) O o .
so far behind more to follow later so I'm reading this diaryland diary tonight and the question posed at the end is similar to the is it better to have loved and lost than never? (the original old Bard asked most famously, if not first)... and after a millisecond of thought I popped off with I dunno, I have loved and lost so many times I don't recall the never too well anymore... I think I was born in love... that's why I haven't lost my innocence, in spite of the emotional nukings... I'd rather be in love. those emotional nukings, it might be worth noting, were at the hands of others (therein leaving more unexpected and perhaps deeper scars and providing more reason to give up and never trust again and there's no falling in love without trust in my universe)... on other planes of thought, I am officially suffering from my very first toothache of this lifetime... I let it happen, ignring the tell tale signs of probably tooth decay due to a chip or crack or something like that that has left a tooth jagged enough to periodically shred some flesh from the inside of my cheek... and of course eating as much chocolate and sugar-filled stuff as I do, it's a wonder I've not had a cavity since the few supposedly found by a rip-off dentist when my adult teeth were just a few years old... "good teeth" was the verdict from every dentist since... the last one said it more than five years ago, however, so it's fair to say I've neglected the pearly whites (which are much more pearly offwhite, I suppose)... so the pain throbbing through the side of my head prompted me to look up my health plan online and find doctors to call (since it's been more than twice as long since I had a decent medical check up) and hopeflly I'll motivate myself to call tomorrow before something medically serious pains me into calling... unfortunately, the dentists covered by my health plan are not listed online, so I am going to have to let my fingers do the walking through the phone book (since nobody, in the two years this has been on my wantlist, has come through with a recommendation... I do have one recommendation from Helena, but her dentist is on the other side of town... worth the trip?... only if I can't find a tooth-saver {I believe in saving, not pulling, whenever possible} on this side of town... I can hope)... I guess I can thank the toothache for the motivation to finally get my health checked-up... full scale, the works (hopefully it won't be too challenging to find a doc who has the means to do complete check-ups that include stress test EKGs and whatever else that would give me some semblence of srity that getting out and seriosly running again will not be committing suicide)... maybe some sleep would help... I think it's been two days now... someday, I'll catch up to today and finish this J |
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