A Journal of Sorts
. o O ( of course I should be sleeping ) O o .
truth? consequences? (who made the rules, anyway?) are you ready for a little self-analysis?... truth?... what decides how you feel about yourself?... is it what you do?... is it what you do compared to what others can do?... is it what others think or say about you?... is it how others react to you?... what decides what you think about yourself?... what determines your self worth? there was a time when I lived what a lot of people, maybe most, would call a high life... for many years I did not think much about money except to send out checks to pay the bills for the things I wanted and the fun I had... maybe it was a childish way, but if you can afford it, would you grow up?... what is growing up anyway? a lot of people came around then... they cheered me and enjoyed the things I bought and the good times I paid for... not that they didn't pay for some times... well, some of them did... none of them come around now... it is strange how most humans I've met judge each other and themselves... instead of looking deeply into each others eyes and basing their opinions on the person's intentions, ideals, and heart, most people look at the clothes or jewels one wears, the car one drives, the house one lives in, or the places one goes to eat or play... most people judge each other on the toys they can buy, rather than on the meaning they can bring into each others lives... that is SO sad maybe it doesn't matter to you... maybe you don't think about stuff like this... maybe you never did, maybe you've forgotten... maybe you've never experienced the duality of humanity in regard to socio-economic judgments... maybe the word appraisal isn't part of your everyday vocabulary... or maybe you live a high life and never knew what it was to struggle 50 or 60 hours a week working at some job you may or may not enjoy just to barely stay one step ahead of bill collectors... or maybe you did and just don't remember when that was... in any case, for what it's worth, this one is for you... what if I stopped remembering would you remember me? what if my mind undermined everything I do what if I was handicapped couldn't walk or talk or see what if it happened suddenly then what would you do? would you send out a brief memo regarding me? just to let everyone know... just to let everyone know... just to let everyone know... what if I stopped remembering would you still care about me? what if my mind did not know everything you do what if I was retarded couldn't understand the world what if it happened suddenly then what would you do? would you send out a brief memo regarding me? just to let everyone know... just to let everyone know... just to let everyone know... what if I could not live up to your expectations? what if I forget how to even tie my shoes? can you really promise you'd love me forever? could your ego handle me not remembering you? what if all the lies and deceit that a life is built upon was suddenly erased and all the dreams you chased as an innocent kid were real again? what if you suddenly remembered life when you were ten would you leave there again? what if all the bonds and contracts that a life is built upon were suddenly broken and all the promises spoken as an innocent kid were real again? what if you suddenly remembered how to be a friend would you leave there again? what if I never came back to a rich successful life if I was willing to settle for simpler things like children do what if I was no longer able to support you as my wife would you be willing to appreciate simpler things what would you do? would you send out a brief memo regarding me? just to let everyone know... just to let everyone know... just to let everyone know... I had to go would you send me a brief memo just to let me know you tried your best but in the end... you had to go and the world may never know, for you may never have to answer any of the questions... certainly you encounter many in your life... if you are alive... in fact, there are many in your readings here... how many have you answered? hello?... hello?... hello?... |
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Regardng Henry
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