A Journal of Sorts
. o O ( of course I should be sleeping ) O o .
"nothing takes the past away like the future nothing makes the darkness go like the light" ~ Madonna ~ when I am not in love, I hate it too when I am in love, I love it perspective is a bi-polar experience oh and how many desperate attempts to get a response from someone who has yet to find meaning in your life shall you write? (you know who you are)... (the question is not just for you) take me out of this world take me out of this life give me reasons to live far away from the strife in a beautiful mind free of conflict or pain elevate, juvenate, vigorate, passion again man is a boy woman is a girl take me out of this world words are amazing things sometimes... some people, never actually met in the physical (offline) world, share some words on a computer screen that touch something deep inside and the writer becomes an old friend somehow... years can pass and there's still a warm feeling inside when the screen name appears (or is just thought of)... at least this is how words and the internet effect me... and I sit here these days wandering aimlessly going nowhere hoping life is more interesting than watching paint dry for you these days... . o O ( time for a little catching up? ) O o . I'm still enjoying myself doing things I love to do, but still doing most everything alone cuz that special someone (that phrase - special someone - are you cringing too?... reminds me of the spam for personal ad sites I get tons of all the time... laugh at me with me?... or course you do J) where were we?... oh yeah, I was casually mentioning I'm still alone in the world on the level of any truly meaningful intimate sharing cuz nobody in the daily world offline knows me beyond a wave hello at work... the two friends I hang out with from time to time do not share my love of words and music and writing, but they do love dining out and movies so we share those activities... and roommie is a roomie... what is missing from life is the ultimate fall... falling in love still seems like (understatement R me) the most important thing in the world to me as without that shared experience, I am longing... always hungry... never satisfied... no matter how happy I am with me, no matter how much fun I am having moment to moment, I ache for that fall... it's so easy for my eyes to produce a tear when I think of this desire for love and romance and intimacy... true love, like The Princess Bride and Random Harvest and Sleepless in Seattle (ah, Meg Ryan movies) and Hook and Nottinghill and Serendipity and Mary Poppins and ET and geee, all I came to say was hi... oh, how I wish my life was a non stop celluloid movie show... wait, it is, online at least... I actually wish it would be more :} I hope some of this meant something beyond me... that's what life is about from my perspective... meaning something to someone else - that's how I know I am not completely alone and being here wasn't a waste of time... oooo, ooo, wishing you were here |
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