A Journal of Sorts
. o O ( of course I should be sleeping ) O o .
"if I could split you wide open and mine the riches of your mind I swear I wouldn't get too greedy I'd leave riches still to find" ~ Jen Chapin ~ |
I tried to go to hell again today (so many people have suggested I go there in this life, when I saw the portal on the internet I made a point of saving a link to it and signing up for the hell mailing list and every now and then I get an email reminding me that hell exists and has a new exhibit and I save the email unread to remind me to open it again and click on the link to hell and explore the new exhibit but every time I try to go to hell I am reminded that I need IE 5.0 or better to access hell, so once again I am left out of the one desination that is most often suggested as the place to go... oh hell... meanwhile, back on dry land... I am here again after a few days, maybe a week away... working and wandering therough music and playing Playstation has occupied my time... at work, the tri-annual (wait, does that mean every three years?... ummm, well, I mean every three years, ok?) federal audit (Joint Commission something something something) had the tension level floating in the ionisphere, but somehow survival happened... yesterday they gave the place a grade of 93, which is excellent so they say... amazing, truly, if they only knew... accredidation with commendation, let's here it for the boys (the corp. is a good ol' boys network, southern style it seems... you can imagine what the few women who scratch and claw into positions of authority are like... I don't want to)... the rich shall continue getting richer for hey once again have government stamps of approval to exploit the poor and powerless of the world... I haven't begun to let the cynic out yet J but enough work news (maybe a worklife entry will wake that journal up, huh?)... the college football marathon dynasty (remember?... I squeeze in some games when Sam isn't looking... don't know why he's so down on my fun, but then, he has his own fun I guess and it remains more his space than mine... seems he'd rather watch than interact... I'm even failing as a couch potato, woe is me and all the giggles in the world can't save me, but I'm laughing anyway... I can be so... ok, anyway, back out of these parentheses) is in it's eleventh off-season and currently paused between the second and third weeks of recruiting due to thunderstorm warnings from Sam... it's his equiptment, after all, he's entitled to err on the side of caution... the storm blew by and the sun barely dimmed, but there were a few moments of sky grumbles... anyway, that's why I am here, the game is in rain delay... and speaking of games, I am still watching the three teams in three leagues in fantasy baseball... I am in third, first, and second place respectively in the three leagues... the first league, where we find Sam and his friends (he lead me into fantasy sports after all these years of wandering around those websites knowing I could get addicted to any game of statitics and numbers and the like), I am usually in fifth place most consistently... I doubt I'll stay in thrid for long as I just don't have the team for it... a definitely average team there... in the second league, I've been in first place all but a few days of the season, substantially so... I currently lead all 5 pitching categories and have decent enough hitting to maintain the double digit cushion I've had most of the season... but one never knows in baseball, anyone could get hurt or slump at any time and I could take a dive before the season concludes... careful managing helps, but sometimes it's just lick of the draw (or draft in this case)... in the third league I have jumped around from second to fourth as I have great pitching (leading all five categories there too) and only average hitting... half the managers in the latter two leagues are absentees and great players are lost in their limbo teams, so trading for what I need has been challenging and is still in the works... all this would be much more fun if somebody was sharing the sport of it, but alas, I play alone until a friend like me comes along (where's that genie when he's needed?) J but the real news of the week is new music has arrived, finally... just a few CDs, but specifically in the form of three CDs from Jen Chapin (with a personally addressed picture postcard sign by Jen herself {merci} encouraging me to enjoy the music... she even spelled my name right, go figure) J and yes, I am in love again... it's a bluesy jazzy sound that has me homesick for the clubs of NYC for the first time in a decade... if only it was warmer and less concrete-crowded up there.. a sorta demo CD with four songs made in 1998 and a live CD from 2000 (from The Bitter End, one of the longest lasting clubs in the musical core of the city) and a recent (2002) CD that is just her and her husband (yes, break my heart, she is... even has wedding pics up on her site), voice and bass and some percussion sounds (noise, as the credits say)... she might not be rising to the surface of mainstrain popular anytime soon, but she's definitely got my attention more than ever... the downbeat is I want her to have a library of dozens of CDs already because her creativity is addictive... the sound is still growing, still a little too singly jazz-blues clubby for my infinity (great for the genre, but I seek more diversity and hope she reaches for all the extremes I hear in her voice as she explores her creative muses)... she's definitely one more link to the secret paths leading to my heart (for anybody interested in such journeys)... and that's not all... I haven't played the other CD yet (the three Jen CDs have been repeating for a few days now)... it will take a few deep breaths (and some serious attitude adjusting and reawakening if I don't waste the inspiration)... I should run before... anyway, once again I have found a Gavin Friday CD (shudder... or was that a shiver... probably both... remembering is still frozen)... if you've been with me for a while, you may remember that I found one at a little shop in Canada (through the mail) back in January of 2001 and before it arrived the Cruella incident occurred and that CD fell into the void of her and her brothers theft, along with hundreds of other recently re-purchased CDs and clothes and the few possessions most dear to me (the computer with writings of the nineties and thousands of $s worth of equipment and programs), none of which has been replaced (some could never be)... set back has been more than a year (just as I was gaining ground on the worst setback of this life, the great white north disaster, Massacre in Toronto)... but that's another time... it may almost be time to deal with Another Blow On The Bruise with the hope for substantial healing and progress out of the abyss that has tried to consume me for the last few years (how long has it been?... nobody could really tell me because nobody has had the stamina or courage or dedication or whatever it takes {a distinct touch of madness, certainly} to have stayed with me through it... deep sighs into alas)... there's another name for these rambles... wishing these moments were shared beyond these words and the reactions get (oh, but without your reactions, I'd be lost enough to give up on humanity and curl up in my own personal asylum for the duration of this life, whatever that might mean)... but don't be scared now, your not responding (if you don't reasond) is not the end of the world (or me, for that matter) or anything so dramatic... unless, of course, we go there... I found the Gavin Friday CD in an online European music shop called Plato (great name, huh?... well, it is if you're like me and if you're not, welcome to the audience, please make yourself comfortable and pass around the popcorn or whatever you're munching on while waiting for the main show to begin)... I found one of the other Gavin CDs on eBay the same day, but was outbid because it wasn't time to spend more than $30 US on If I Die, I Die... Each Man Kills The Thing He Loves, on the other hand, cost me $15.06 (Eurodollars, I think... I'm not sure how much that is in US$, or maybe that was US$ and if so, it's a bargain as it includes shipping from the Netherlands... ahhh, to sit and watch the sun set from a table at a cafe in Amsterdam... as we wander off there in our minds, I shall pause to pour fluids into the body and let your imagination take you where it will go)... . o O ( time slipping slipping slipping . . . ) O o . and in celebration of the new day (thanks to Jen's motivating inspiration), the What's New page has finally been updated, revised, renewed, and accredited with commendation even (we shall see if this lasts)... still, ain't love grand? J . o O ( no wonder I paused again on April Fool's Day ) O o . and finish when? (but it's never really finished) |
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NCAA 2002 College Football Game
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