A Journal of Sorts
who will understand will it be in this lifetime? ok, so I got about a half a months worth of journal entries done in the past day or so... that's what I've been doing besides the usual working... and I've been resisting all sorts of cold and flu bugs that are floating around work... most everybody is sick and I feel the bugs working on my immune system and the mucous membranes are working overtime to rid this body of them, but that's still background noise... in fact everything is background noise as the tinitis increases (and I don't just mean in my ears, but the metaphors are stretching thin I guess)... but what do I know, after all... crossing through this time of year has always been rocky since the losses of two born in the coming week continue to show up in the loss column, this journey through the annual timeline is none too pleasant... more mountains to climb, more obstacles to overcome... to dream the impossible dream is not enough sometimes... to share, to live, that is the true adventure... sometimes I read words others have written and feel an understand deeper than anything might express or explain, but what proof do I have other than my feelings and that makes it real to me alone... I want something real beyond me, to create and share something real in both the ethereal and the physical with someone who understands and can and will... page after page I pour out this longing... a hunger that defies logic and often consumes that which it hungers for so completely that all that is left is the hunger... and sometimes I succumb to silence remembering if you do not understand my silence... |
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