A Journal of Sorts
"beauty is fragile, and time eats at it, this passion play smothered in effort, the thrash of naked limbs, glistening skin close your eyes, the whispered sighs, frightening lust sweet was her breath, tasted by mine words are more effective when concealed through the halflight on her body my fearful hands tremble their way take me, anywhere that you like, hold me, deep within, do what you like take me, anywhere, warm the night, take me, take me, take me with the lights low, and you naked on the warm floor me besides you, softly kissing, caressing make love to her while she's crying I could die now, and die happy" ~ My Dying Bride ~ that alone feeling, you know, like nobody knows who you are and nobody cares to spend the time with you to find out... it's back... it doesn't help that I have a job in a place that uses and discards staff like toilet paper and a clear reminder was presented today... but I haven't been writing as much as I usually do (and I haven't been uploading - sharing - words much for a few months now because the overall loneliness factor has been flirting with a wallowing self-pity and procrastinating myself into oblivion... but I am enjoying the heck out of indulging the video game junkie in me (statistically speaking, of course), but the self-sufficient child is not helping me with this loneliness lament so I'll leave that fun out of this (as I seem to be leaving some stuff out of the stimulus record below each entry, but that's another distraction I don't make time for today... these catch-up days)... I am sitting in my new recliner in the living room with my laptop (no, not a new one yet) connected to the web (no, not at high-speed yet) in front of the TV and typing some words, aren't I? (whatever all that means)... I don't know what is on the TV, I don't pay attention... that is why this is another stimulus I fail to mention... unshared, paying attention to detail is not always as much fun... and yet, that is how to become interesting, if not attracting... interesting is paying atention to detail... attractive is doing it so casually that it appeas you are not doing it at all... and the alarm goes off telling me it's time to prepare for another night at the, urm, office... but she calls me from so far away I hear her is it yesterday are these memories haunting me music that won't play or something new somewhere out there calling me today yes she calls me beyond any doubt I hear her I want to shout but my fantasies haunting me ghosts are all about can she understand can she find me can she help me out I am in here I hear you calling do you see what you are doing to me? I have been ready to die since the day I was born but I live hoping to be happy and I think you can do it for me unidentified ethereal lover list a warm mist in the night glistening with persperation hiding from the light it's alright I hear you calling I hear you calling I hear you calling tonight |
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