A Journal of Sorts
"why can’t you see? there’s neither blame nor forgiveness be strong by being susceptible, and don’t quail, your frankness is your strength and shows their weakness waiting for the perfect sign to reveal what lies inside there’s no lie in trying why do you fear me?" ~ After Forever ~ so much of the meaning will be missed (prophesy?) as I play with time... emotions flood my mind, churning, like water and oil and sludge and something lighter momentarily blending without mixing as if in a huge, rolling, bouncing, ricocheting sphere, a pinball between muses and forces known and unknown... and I want to scream, sometimes, but I don't want to be misunderstood or scare away the fragile or confused who might understand when healing comes, for I have been fragile and confused... doubt is as fierce an enemy as it's cousin fear and I've known the feeling of drowning in both where no hand can reach, where no heart can beat, where only some magic of unconscious will can save hope gasping for a last breath... I don't want to go there again... and yet here, alone, I succumb sometimes... as many of you reading in the solitude of your room right now know too well, loneliness is a friend of doubt and fear... how do we motivate the reaching out?... how do we survive?... here is my way here is my hope here is my reason my madness, my dope here is my cure here is my trust my naked soul doing what it must reaching out beyond doubt over fear I am here I am here I am here |
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