A Journal of Sorts
"just last night I was reminded of just how bad it had gotten and just how sick I had become but it could change with this relationship de-derange, we've all been through some shit and if we're a thing I think this thing's begun tell me now what do I have to do to prove my love to you" ~ Violent Femmes ~ evrybody wants proof (don't we need some?), especially after being burned and the more times burned, the more proof may be needed... to de-derage, to re-regain trust... it's the scars that toughen the skin that desensitize and fortify defenses that make it harder to get hurt (we hope) but harder to love (we cry)... so do we sit in our lonely room? (day, after day... now there's an old song, looking back... or looking out... but who's looking now?)... alases... . o O ( nothin left to prove except that I've survived ) O o . it takes work... it's not easy... it's not all laid out on a simple page or screen... you've got to dig... you've got to scroll... you've got to explore to find out what's really going on... you've got to care enough to want to take (give) the time to find out what you're looking for... what might be real (and what's a bohemian rhapsody)... you've got to ponder, wonder, maybe even question to understand... something even discuss amongst yourselves and if you ever feel faklempt, maybe we're getting somewhere... kapish?... . o O ( nothing left to prove except that I'm ready to ride again ) O o . the most wonderful (and powerful) thing about getting sick (or wasted) is finding out just how strong your belief in yourself can be... just how much you can overcome... that may be why people climb mountains or explore any extreme... and that's the journey I've been on through this life... not as much physical extremes, though I've crtainly been along the edge of death along the way... but the point of my journey through this life (my mission, accepted long ago, perhaps in a galaxy far far away even) was (is?... we shall see if you want to know) to explore and experience the most extreme ethereal moments I could imagine.. actualized in giving unconditional trust and in allowing the complete destruction of the most important things and dreams... the extremes of emotions have been life as I know it... . o O ( with nothing left to prove, all that's left is to be known ) O o . and though I may have grabbed the brake on this roller coaster ride for the first time in recent ears (and then again maybe not... maybe I just fell out of the car and didn't climb back in as quickly as I used to)... the call of the wild, internal ethereal freedom is still the primary desire and point of this life for me... vulnerable as ever? (again, we shall see if you care to know)... meanwhile, the ramble through brambles continues... |
audios literata edibles gardens oddends linkage |
work,
work, local radio Icebound by Dean Koontz pasta wantlist READ DISCLAIMER silly quotes MOTHER JONES |
(TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT THIS IS, CLICK ON THIS LINK)
JOURNAL INDEX |
TURN THE PAGE |
THE SAME-TIME MENU BAR - FOR EACH GARDEN AROUND THIS SAME TIME NEW KIT WORKLIFE LIFETIME JOURNAL HEARTBEAT WANTS |
