A Journal of Sorts
it could be my only wisdom it could be my greatest folly but somehow, somewhere inside of me some part of me hangs on to the hope, more the belief that people really do care down deep where they get real at least they want to and I am here to help have you missed me? . o O ( a few moments of the 'real life' offline, for those who care ) O o . hug, actually... HUGE HUGS to my fans wait, here's a side note of sorts: to give sense (or rather context) to this, you should know that when I uploaded this journal session there had not been a journal session uploaded in more than a month... since December 1st, in fact... and some of you noticed and let me know you noticed and some of you didn't (notice or let me know or both)... ok, now on with the journals J . o O ( re-enter {or is that emerge from} the dream ) O o . and if I didn't hear from you (and advice to me, my family, friends, fools, and you too)... please don't let guilt trips run your life or interfere with you doing what you want to do (you oughta know what I mean)... you want to love someone (me, even?), so go ahead and do it... it isn't real outside of your mind (in this shared world) until you let someone know... let someone know... the greatest (find words that mean more than greatest) power is actualized knowledge and faith in self and somethin that motivates you to do your best to be all you can be (forget the commercial, please) and that knowledge and faith becomes actualized with it is shared - when you share unconditionally with someone who shares unconditionally with you... let someone know... many people (maybe most) have experienced this at least for a while from a mother or father or some form of nurturer... but maybe that is not as normal as we want to believe it is... maybe more families are alienated and fewer than the majority of people experience unconditional love from a parent (their creators, in fact)... humans... perhaps that is why religions falter and faith in love, life, or higher powers are not as collectively as strong as they may have been in the past... and perhaps it's the divisions and fighting over souls that make that difference happen, but personally, I believe there are not enough nurturers in this world... and that single disparity is the reason the human race might fail the survive over the long term... maybe... anyway, where I've been (if you care), is... working, still... fewer hours each week than most of last year, but definitely fewer hours... averaging fifty five hours a week instead of seventy five is an interesting experience... still too many working hours, but still looking for alternatives (feel free to step up and offer some suggestions that are no SPAM... speaking of SPAM, I sure am getting more of it lately... it's getting bad enough to think about getting a program to filter it or even change email addresses again)... and then there is the playstation game... NCAA 2002 has sucked me on and fills most of my free time lately... and it'll stay this way until someone or something comes along to offer something new and more fun for me... or until I burn out on the game.... anyone who knows me knows I love numbers and statistics and the game offers some good play with numbers (not to mention the football playing part of the game itself)... you coach a college team (or up to twelve college teams) from season to season and recruit players during the off season... so many features I'd like to see are missing (like cumulative statistics for the colleges and creating your own playbook, just to mention two)... anyway, I've submerged my mind into the game and it's fun and keeps me from remembering how lonely life can be for me sometimes... I've shared lunches and dinners with friends, but haven't expanded my socializing as I still have not found friends who share my night shift schedule or interests for that matter... maybe I want too much... alas, my delusions do not seem compatible with the delusions most people create in their lives... for better or worse, harmlessness is rare in humanity in this world... but I still believe you are out there and you want to care, so here I am reminding you that it is possible and does not have to be kept secret... honesty, sensitivity, and unconditional love is welcome here... meanwhile, I am not sure I shall be back rambling on here on a daily basis... I will most likely fill in the days or weeks that pass with babbles as I have in previous breaks over the years... your interest is appreciated, but there's just a few of us regulars and nobody actually wanting to live in public as I do (as evidenced by the lack of members and activity in the group... kapish?... hope so... when the sharing begins I shall be back for whatever happens... until then, maybe you'll let me know what motivates you so maybe we share some interests and motivations we don't know about... I am reachable... and please remember, share honesty and you are welcome here (here in words, in the group, in my mailbox, on the phone, at the door) and I love you... J |
audios literata edibles gardens oddends linkage |
NCAA 2002 game, football playoffs
an absence of music Friday by Robert A. Heinlein asst process frozen snack foods wantlist READ DISCLAIMER goofiness (that's right, goofiness) NISSAN vs. nissan (big business notices the net and...) |
(TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WHAT THIS IS, CLICK ON THIS LINK)
JOURNAL INDEX |
TURN THE PAGE |
THE SAME-TIME MENU BAR - FOR EACH GARDEN AROUND THIS SAME TIME NEW KIT WORKLIFE LIFETIME JOURNAL HEARTBEAT WANTS |
