A Journal of Sorts
"I laugh, I cry, I breath like any other guy I walk, I talk, but inside these rivers run dry these are the days of my solitude these are the days of my life..." ~ Kon Kan ~ round and round and round I go, where I stop... yeah sure, whatever... I think I'm getting boring, how about you? (am I boring or are you boring, either question will do)... my time is mostly filled with work and playing a Playstation video game... so there's nothing all that fasinating about life to share... la?... so I wander through other more creative (we can hope) and imaginary whatevers... I mean, just how many lonely laments can we put here before this whole rambling journal becomes one long lonely lament... la la lament sadness and sorrow buried in the past lost for the morrow condemned to feel only memories might as well join the forest I'm one of the trees standing alone solid and silent bending with the wind without dissent climb me, cut me make me a fence whatever you do it makes no difference in the present tense of course the moment passes and becomes another and it could be totally new with little or no similarity to the previous moment... this is the reasoning behind he concept I might repeat now and then here and there, there's always hope... but so many missing pieces are drifting without me... this format is boring... too much scrolling?... too many words (what?... but all I have are words... ok, the new computer song is starting up again... with digital camera chorus... but I'm not in the mood to be seen these days anyway... so later, again)... and I expect to attract attention and inspire you to come back?... why do you?... one day you'll surprise me and actually answer J day after day the same song plays silent lament the din is deafening fingers curl but somewhere in the distance I hear whispers wondering how does a child survive the day of reckoning in this world without a friend to hold her hand or heart to really understand alone and lonely was not planned but there's so much hurt out there and so few people really care when was the last time you ate something that was not canned? and the child hears kill the beasts and beat the children submission is all they want from you if you want to survive then listen closely now and I will tell you what you need to do become invisible and remain you day after day the missing pieces of the puzzle call out, cry out, scream silently who hears? who cares? whispers wonder if I knew how people can turn off their hearts and become so cold and cruel with smiles on their faces, maybe I'd understand why they do it... all I know is I've met too many for one lifetime and I don't want to meet any more abusers... but I don't want to stay alone... so how to know?... |
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