A Journal of Sorts
"the baby's not screaming enough the singer's not singing enough ramana's not breathing, to us behold the unsheathing, it's love" ~ Live ~ the challenge that comes with living outdoors (or living in a car or trailor with many air spaces that allow the outdoors in) is dealing with the biting bugs, especially as mosquito season is upon us... spiders and assorted other little critters bite too (some causing a lot more severe reactions), but the news keeps reporting about encephalitis mosquitos (and some other even more deadly virus borne by the little blood suckers) flying around out there... and me, I'm getting bitten regularly... not very comfortable (and one more bit of understanding of why most people turn off their senses as they spend more time in this world... odd that it's called growing up, as growing it is not)... meanwhile, with my determination not to shut down this body's senses as long as I am able, the bugs are certainly getting my epithelium in a mild uproar... and I feel this body fighting with the other bugs (virus and whatever) that the insects are carrying... no fun and hopefully the immune system will deal with the invading forces without the need for exorbidently expensive medical services... I really could use an efficient automatic spell-checker, huh? J got to do something about the guestbook too... I recently found out it isn't working cuz the Lycos monster discontinued the free service that lured me into using them and like the Disney moster did with the old website, the link now just becomes an advertisement for Lycos... I see why these big sites get hacked into now... I mean, instead of taking you to my old journals and my guestbook, I've got links to the Lycos and GO network main pages on hundreds of my webpages... if there was a way to make the link take you to a page that explained what happened, like this or this or this, then at least it would be fair... instead I have hundreds of advertisements for the giants that screwed me without telling me all over my paid for website... the rich get richer cuz they can afford to manipulate, screw, and rob the poor... and what else is new... I have a couple of days off this week... in fact, it might even stretch to three full days off (the most in months) if I'm not called (and since they are trying to keep overtime down and they hired at least a dozen new people in the last month, they probably won't call)... unfortunately, I am in cramped quarters where simply laying down comfortably is not possible (bed too small, no floor space - even if there was a clean spot) and relaxing is not feasible here... the price is right though (actually, it's high for this space, but the price is zero officially and I'm putting a hundred or so a week into the fridge and their bills) and my bills are gettng paid and most important, the savings grows... I don't plan on taking another year off for a while, but it's good to know the money is in the bank in case I want to... now just don't get sick... if only the right roommate would come along so we could find the right apartment, everything would fall into place again... or at least start too... guess I should just find a decent one bedroom compromise, pay the extra monthly rent, and focus on getting my lifestyle (healthier, higher energy levels, much more open and focused, and more than I can explain in words) back in shape... would be nice to sit comfortably unfettered for a change... so what are you doing on this steam-sticky evening? (it rained all day)... I'm catching up on these journals (as you can see by now) and should be up to date by the end of the night... and I have another Stephen King book to begin (just two more before I'm done with what he's published and waiting for his next one... hoping for book five in the Dark Tower series... it's about due and I wonder if and how his near death experience will effect it... from what I can see, it has sent him in a more innocent and romantic vein so far... fine by me, since that's maybe my favorite genre, though it's odd from him and he's not stretching my imagination as much as he used to)... maybe I'm a dinosaur, loving the written word as I do... reading and writing are just such a comfortably natural part of my life I seldom go a day without words... and a few hours a day is probably about average when I have the time... and it's not just reading and writing, but communicating through words is one of my favorite activities... that takes two, at least, though... anybody else out there with this sort of love of words and lifestyle?... write! J ok, so I want to be seduced J since I'm the only one who's ever been able to successfully seduce myself, I present quite a challenge for you who might want to seduce me... the maze is amazing and that's just the entryway (shhhh, secrets are close at hand... will you find any?... well, if you were a carpenter you'd know you need to be in love... hope you're not wasting too much time... wise old child, a fool be) J . o O ( anything like a spelling bee? ) O o . alas, it was there... the old feeling, the magic, the depths of passion and romance and the dreams that scale the infinite heights and delve to the infinite depths of emotions that can be imagined and experienced in this universe (and perhaps in these bodies, if it doesnt kill the poor corps first)... but just a scratchm the surface barely gazed by the consciousness before the din of insensitivity and neediness poured into the sapce to wash away the delicate moods and pull me back from the brink (it's way too vulnerable there when among those who don't get it)... the heart cries, the body sighs... a couple of Meg Ryan movies could have helped, especially the confessional and reconciliation scenes... but visuals only spark the fuses, whet appetites... the recent mail stirring up the past could have helped, but these are too tentative and still suspect... it was the deeper muses that called and as I began answering, as I started brushing off the cobwebs and bleeding the past from my soul and entering the whole new world of the now always waiting for conscious touch, the delicate balance was thwarted... that's life... there's so much more to be shared... |
audios literata edibles oddends linkage |
When A Man Loves A Woman, Arlington Road, I.Q.
Atmospheres (CH838, MC9) on Hughes Satellite pause BBQ chicken, corn bread want? Dueling Proverbs |
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