A Journal of Sorts
there's me ~ tape 455 ~ . o O ( all the missing pieces ) O o . in the beginning there was simplicity and it was good... all we had to do was be... but some people were afraid of being and in their fear, they seized power and created complex illusions to five themselves the impression that they could relieve themselves of responsibility for being... that futile effort distorted the picture and experience of life and in the confusion that followed they felt a false sense of security that comes from being numb and out of touch and unaware... this was not satisfying, so they continued searching... and those who remained simple and truly secure became idolized or hated depending on the whims of the crowd and the script of the times... crowned or crucified, in either case bearing the responsibility of being... and that left them being real and deep in a world where shallow falseness was the norm... and to survive, sometimes pretending to understand the muddled masses huddled in their self-perpetuated confusion and despair, offering the hope that there is some way out of there (by not being there, but being here)... . o O ( oh, where am I? ) O o . and as the energy level rises as the words reach inside to wake up the sleeping child and ghosts of other minds inspiring more words to flow from deeper and higher so more energy floods through the body via the hormones sent from various glands awakened by the stimulated mind, I hear the strained beating of my heart muscle and feel the tension in my chest (and other places) as I experience the results of a lack of exercise and American diet as it gradually clogs the vessels and leads me down the path of heart disease (shall this confrontation be a bit of a wake up call or just the record of the downfall?)... yeah, so is anybody actually following any of this?... . o O ( still so shallow... where am I? ) O o . of course it is May and as usual, the first two weeks challenge me to start again and fly higher to find more positivity and dream beyond the madness of everyday... but almost all in retrospect this year, so much is lost and all but the one will never know (and without the one, even I may not)... but I am remembering, scattered pieces of a broken life... shards of reflected emotions... grains of hope awaiting replanting, nurturing, and the watering of hope that feeds new growth... this is what Spring brings, sometimes, if we let winter pass... if we let the seasons change... if we dare face the fear and bare naked to the wind our fragility and vulnerability and trust... and let another in... to take the chance again... is anybody out there? |
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