A Journal of Sorts
"I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you I'm pretending and that's all I can do the love I'm sending ain't making it through to your heart you've been hiding, never letting it show always trying to keep it under control you got it down and you're well on the way to the top but there's something that you forgot..." ~ Heart ~ (or is that Roxette?) actually, when I wrote another journal entry is coming to a close (or something like that) in the last entry I meant another journal session... ironic that I should start to remember and explain sessions just now (when I was small) J I'll continue tomorrow J another 33 hour weekend under the belt... and the energy level is low... the weekend mail is downloading... about 10 MB, though one of the ISPs seems to be jamming up again... maybe I should send them a check... I am pretty dang exhausted (understated understatement) and not sitting comfortably (again), so I probably won't be here long (just until the mail downloads)... as I sit here nodding while waiting for the mail to download after being gone for a few more days, I realize that another reason I haven't been as diligent in updating these journals I'm getting very little feedback these days (on every level)... my fans must be busy... my online friends must be real busy (sounds like a theme is building)... and offline, I know my few friends and aquaintences are very busy and their schedules do not coincide with mine... I need to find locals who work weird hours like me (and who seldom sleep)... is it any wonder I'm lonely as much as I want to share just because I am alone does not mean nobody cares so I need to try to remember that there is somebody out there who wants to share like I do and someday they will be here being that libido and the rest of me naturally leans very much toward heterosexual preferences, I should probably use the pronoun she instead of they, but then how can I be sure (in a world that's constantly changing) that my ideal the one is female?... ah, there's the rub (where where?) J so I write about my longing to share everything from sensual pleasures to songs children sing and I write about my passions and I write about my dreams for writing is my only friend sometimes at least that's how it seems no one is here in my space tonight you are out there reading these words I write what we might feel is many miles apart and yet can we still share the same heart? that is a dream in my mind tonight out there in yours you have your own light what we don't see we can only imagine now so what can be is what we will allow and what we share for sharing is how so anyway, this session begins right on time (and will have to be filled in later when time permits if progress is to continue) and if you understand more than these words place here then maybe you've been there since before the web world was created and remember the written gardens in other forms... sparkle honey, or something like that... it may be time to find the calendar again J |
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