A Journal of Sorts
and it's all I can do to keep from running just to try something new I'm goin down on the cool ride and I am right behind...and.. every breath is like the one before yeah it's like the one before you get it right you breathe..." ~ Tracy Bonham ~ hey, I may just be playin J the irony is I take things more seriously than anyone I've ever met and I can laugh at anything... I wonder if you understand... maybe you can tell me why honesty shocks most people and drives many away... like it's rude to be honest or something... and forget sexual honesty... political correctness is just the latest version of religion put out by people afraid of feeling their own bodies... it's all hypocrisy but it would be rude to put the truth in their faces so let them get away with their lie and once you do, they've got you in their trap of hypocrisy... catch-22... don't get real... and don't let your sexuality or desire show unless it's requested or in a theatrical fantasy... right... is it any wonder relationships don't work and more human energy goes into destroying the species than improving it, no less propagating it?... relationships?... the saddest joke of all without honest communication... if you're in one (or think you are), when was the last time you told your partner your deepest desires or wildest fantasies or scariest fears?... when was the last time you even acknowledged any of it to yourself?... you do have some, don't you?... who knows?... anyway, I just thought I'd throw these questions out at you today as I ponder reaching out and being available again... maybe I should put a personal relationship resume on the web too lol lam laa?... don't get me started unless you're ready to go all the way don't even say it unless you ready to do all that you say if you are afraid to be real and share everything you can feel then just stay on behind your walls don't be the one who falls don't get me going unless you're ready to come don't even go there unless you'll move until you're numb if you can't give up everything and become one half of the song you sing then keep what you want to keep for yourself stay up on your shelf nothing is forbidden in my mind though I don't believe in harm or being unkind if you can't leave all your fears behind then you can't see when you are blind don't get me started... another time, maybe... meanwhile, it's reach out and catch up time again... another mass mailing letter to friends is in progress... as soon as it's done it'll be at the link and in the mail... I wonder how many of the hundreds of people in my address book will ask to be deleted this time... either they like me and want to receive very occasional mail from me or they delete me as SPAM without complaint cuz only a few asked to be delted last time... but then, only a couple of dozen actually responded... maybe cuz I said I was incommunicato? (see what honesty can do?... am I serious or ?)... so whatcha thinking?... feeling?... back to the letter and address book... am I so entertaining that hundreds of people accept my long and winding babbling letters whenever they appear?... or am I so easy to ignore that hundreds of people can receive a long and winding letter and have no comment?... any of you reading now? J well, another journal entry is coming to it's close... so what's the story... you've recently experienced some weeks without journal entries and here we are again with an almost whole wee of journal entries... has your life been dramatically altered either way?... ummmm, hello?... knock knock J your turn J |
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