A Journal of Sorts
do you think you're insatiable? do you always want more? do you think you can handle it? do you think you're sure? do you really think you know what all the questions are for? well step on up and take your shot and let's see if you score and work calls again, waking me from a sound sleep... a short meeting... trouble is, the drive time makes it practically a whole afternoon... alas, I shall live closer soon (time being relative and all)... but that's worklife... . o O ( passing time, passing sighs ) O o . and more than three hours later, I'm ready to head back to bed... or wherever I might be sleeping next... so maybe a nap is is order since I actually have the rest of the day and evening off (maybe even the night too) off and nobody's gonna be here (at Mina's) for about seven hours... . o O ( zzzzzzz... ring ring... zzzzzz... ring ring... zzzzzzz ) O o . ok, so I slept a little... broken sleep, but some deep cat naps (what are cat naps, anyway?... I mean, is there a scientific definition for feline sleep cycles that really relate to human sleep cycles?)... so anyway, since I didn't have much time but I've been so inundated in worklife and out of the writing for a while, I decided to escape into some online semi-introspective (but mostly random rambling) journalling and catch up on the last few days... and I've been noticing (by following some online groups and others) that there is a whole world of journalling online (and me and my ramblings aren't connected to it at all... the part of me that craves attention and relatively constant sharing wonders how to get connected... the part of me that rebels and seeks solitary privacy (this part has obviously been dominant in my physical social actions these last few years, in spite of the words to the contrary... hmmmmm, anybody noting this incite?... anybody wanna come over and discuss it?) is quite content with life and rambling here by myself... the good news is the insecure ego is not dominant... as much as I seek attention and reassurances in words, when I don't get them (on or offline) I can still roll along giggling and happy with myself... mostly... the detachment from this body (and ensuing health risks) may be a direct result of the lack of sharing and interest in me offline... but that's just a theory... feel free to come over and test it with me (am I subtle or what?... lam... laa?) J and for those of you wondering what the heck I might be rambling on about here... don't worry, be happy, and if you really think you want to know... start again J isn't it ironic that those who can not see the truth choose to believe more emphatically (and occasionally more violently) in lies?... and isn't it ironic that those who are uncertain of themselves are often the first to see arrogance in others?... one person's arrogance is another person's truth... and when was the last time you really took some time to ponder anything?... but what may be most ironic is how those who feel inferior accuse those who appear secure of acting (or feeling, no less) superior... and those who do not understand try to diminish the value of whatever it is they don't understand (huh?)... wouldn't want to miss anything important, now would we?... and one person's sarcasm is another person's educational experience... or giggle... so what are you feeling do you dare let yourself know what are you feeling do you dare let yourself grow what are you feeling do you dare let yourself flow what are you feeling do you dare let yourself glow what are you feeling do you dare let yourself show when you know you grow and flow until you glow we all need to learn how to row come on and row pump that body squeeze your muscles and hold on until you feel the finish line then let it all go what are you feeling do you dare let yourself know? what? J |
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