A Journal of Sorts
"sleeping by yourself at night can make you feel alone..." ~ Sublime ~ bzzzzzzzzst... mostly work again this week... just when I thought I was off for a few days, more work... but that's worklife and this is the journal, so what's new?... ummmmmm... a painful void surrounds the muses these days... I still find the inner inspirations from imagination, but the depression and poverty and alienation and frustration and apathy and abuses I see all around me are stiffling eternal creativity... I would definitely benefit from a change of scene and especially from a new child (in the childinside sense, like me) J light of my life shining inside wondering if it is seen love of my life where do you hide I want to ask where have you been hope of my life I believe in you does anyone know what I mean dream of my life when will you come true I'm waiting for it to begin ah, gee... the hopelessly hopeful romantic I am continues even in a void... well, a star shines (burns even) in the vacuum of space, dudnit?... through the mask of indifference, does anyone see the depth of the passion in me behind the bloat of self-abuse and apathy lives a beautiful fantasy disguised so well, like heaven in hell just waiting for a break in the fear so someone might care and begin to share and dare to come close aware I'm not as numb as I may appear and what is all this journalling accomplishing? (and need it really accomplish anything?... but that's another question)... so have you found me yet? (and why don't I know it?... but that's another... you know)... there must be some way out of here, after all... but then (and now), I still have miles to go before I sleep and promises I mean to keep... is anybody out there?... |
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