A Journal of Sorts
wish you would tell me what you're thinking maybe add a feeling or few wish you would be honest and open so I can know you wish we could share something real now life offers so very little time wish we didn't have to waste a moment that's a sad crime facing the inevitible end of life... after another blitzkreig (wishing for more peace) weekend of work I drive over to Mina's house to sleep... it's been a while... I reluctantly avoided going over the last couple of weeks cuz Florey died... dear Florey... being two of the family members I have chosen in this life who actually chose me back, I didn't want to just go over and sleep... but that's what I did anyway cuz there was no time between work shifts... dear Mina, well beyond her years, understands as usual... I'll be back after work again, hopefully for more than sleep and quick food and hugs... . o O ( sounds of time passing ) O o . and here we are again, but then, I'm not really here and haven't been here yet (that's a lot deeper than it sounds)... lately I've been scattered and so much time and energy has been out at work and offline and not in me or my creative worlds that writings and the inner me have been flying on autopilot... maybe I'd have more production or better stuff flowing if I focused more and maybe not... I leave value judgments for others most of the time... my feeling is I'm more scattered and farther from myself than I'd like to be and I keep looking at finding a new place to live and re-settling into a life as the turning point back toward deeper focus (and that's been the story for a long time, longer than these journals have been online, so for you there's not much to compare)... of course too much introspection might make for very dull reading... but then, I don't write for reading most of the time... but then again, I am putting words online for reading (as much as I am comfortable in myself and part of me wants to be alone, another part of me lives to share and craves attention)... so balance should be the goal I guess... how's the balance so far? J yes, I do want your opinion... I am insatiable, ya know... I never get enough feedback and would appreciate you taking the time to give me your opinion about any part of my web world... it (your opinion) is valuable to me J please place your opinion HERE J |
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