A Journal of Sorts
"I'll give you my heartbeat and a bit of tear and flesh it's not very much but while it's there you can have it, you can have it" ~ Yoko Ono ~ sometimes... phew... stiff neck and back... another all nighter, this time I've been on the computer (Phil's) old 300 Mhz computer with the cable model connection... hopefully I wasn't in his way too much... it was great of him to let me sit there so long... it saved me some time (though I learned that a well protected cable modem connection can be almost as slow as a 28.8 modem connection, even slower when sending data on forms... sad to think the world is so unsafe that such protection measures are needed... anyway, he played (and worked too) on his 1Ghz monster J I sent out several hundred inquiries via email and the web for roommate situations and rooms for rent... still not organized enough to satisfy me, but the computer and time limitations allow just so much database recording of info... any recommendations on information organizer programs?... infomation, information, automation, autormation.. la la la jump in anytime with a verse J and preferably as I do, seeking the positive worth in everything (especially words)... and in the words... a life in words... the meaningful words are only meaningful to the one who feels them... to all others, they are not poetry... maybe the music makes it ok... maybe the judgements don't... why would someone write a song if they had nothing imprtant to say?... just for the money?... just for the fame?... just for the ego?... maybe the money or fame or ego is important to them... I am thinking about the words... the bits of blood and sweat and tears and flesh that writers share... it's not much, but while it's here... it is yours... this body is definitely reaching crunch points as I try to conform to other people's spaces, schedules, and lifestyles... where are all the mostly vegetarians who do not overeat at every meal?... yes, I've gained weight back.. I'm not sure how much, but more than enough... but when I'm not sure where my next meal is going to be I find myself blindly consuming whatever is placed in from of me... and it's mostly meat... no wonder people from other countries thing we are so wealthy in the US... we not only eat the most expensive foods, but we eat so much of it most of us are overweight and a fair portion are obsese... all this is probably intended to reassure me that I am not that badly overweight and/or distract me from the physical pains and discomforts brought on by living as I do these days... not working, the body screams... well, at least I'm writing... yes, as long as I am writing, I am alive... not the life you might find in the dictionary and maybe not life by your standards, but I am sharing more in my words than many people share each day... more than some ever share... some might even appreciate my being here... well, at least a few J and with an appointment to have my finger prints taken this morning, I don't want to fall asleep and miss it so I doing my ramble on thing... or something like that J |
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