...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
sometimes I wonder
where I've been
who I am
and do I fit in
~ Irene Cara ~
and nobody cares today...
oh?... you do?... have you told me today?... well then, how would I know?... mind reading is just a part time hobby I do less and less as time parts from me... don't mind me, I'm just feeling the abandonment button pushed to the red zone once again... trust people and it's bound to happen according to my experience... still it could be much worse, I could be on the street...
I'll survive, I always do... this body, however, will give out and die sooner or later... it (the body) is bummed... it is heading for living in the car again from the looks of things... moving in here was not a wise move cuz Aim wants me out (she changed her mind and wants the place to herself) when she gets back in two weeks and I don't have the funds for a new place (deposit, first month or last month, mving expenses, etc... I mean, she knows this cuz she loaned me the money to move in here... wonder how she thinks I'd suddenly have the money to move within a couple of weeks... guess she forgot... alas, everybody's wrapped up in their own stuff and I keep making the mistake of stepping into it when I'm invited in to help them out... of course deep down they really do mean well though, right?)...
and child inside somehow survives, still looking for the friend I can truly count on so I can experience the illusion of not being totally alone in this world... it's the illusion of family that gets me into this mess... wanting it usually allows me to overlook the unwise aspects of the choices I make when I leap into unexpected opportunities to actualize trust... and here I am again... the good news is I can and did still trust unconditionally...
alas, same results...
if you always do what you always did
you'll always get what you've always gotten
this may be true (is, huh?), but I'm still trying to figure out how to actually experience and share unconditional trust without actually doing it... kinda of impossible... I guess that's why most people give up on it... I guess that's why the world is so sad... and I am so alone... I won't give up...
worklife continues
THE SAME-TIME MENU BAR - FOR EACH GARDEN AROUND THIS SAME TIME
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