...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
"and although you will say
I am still too naive
but I have not lost faith
in the things I believe
and if I don't have a this all worked out
still I'm getting closer, getting closer
I still have far to go no doubt
but I'm still getting closer, getting closer"
~ Billy Joel ~
oh the blessing of steamy hot water returns... simple comforts most middle class people take for granted... and the sensory memory of being in this body with all senses heightened and connected to the processors that bring sensory experience into understanding... it is what life is about...
action <==> attitude
I went out for a long walk (and a little run) today and with some big deep breaths am accepting the hospitality and gifts (and loans... the budget director won't let me forget it's job search day again... that's responsible and good and all, right? J)... Aim has shown up right on time for me...
I'll have to figure out how to thank her J
the week was challenging, moving again for the third time in a year and again reminded that I gave up control of my life and still have not gotten it back... and taking gifts from relatively new people in this life, people who assure me they are friends and I want to believe... I want to trust again... but it's challenging to overcome the betrayals, intentional and unintentional, of the last six years... still, the child inside hopes and opens up and gives the unconditional trust one more time... thank you for this Aim J
it is good to have friends J
so I vegetate a bit on this early Sunday morning with some renewed hope that maybe I can and should trust people and maybe all the giving I've done does come back around... it's not so much that I want anything from anyone, it's just that I want to share and I have nothing material to share anymore and sadly, that seems to isolate me as most everyone I meet want something more than a good heart and positive attitude and loyal friendship... but that is all I have to offer these days... and sometimes I wonder if it is enough for anyone... maybe that's the simple gift of friendship Aim offers (there's the hope renewed), to accept me as I am with nothing but myself to offer and find worth enough in just what's inside of me to want me around...
that's what I'm really looking for today...
and there's the hope and faith I have not lost... for in spite of the users and abusers who've taken all I had and left me for dead... in spite of the false friends who've fawned over me as long as I had what they wanted... in spite of the strangers who pass through with smiles and good intentions, but who don't follow through on their commitments... those who wish me to give up and become like them... in spite of the nocpdjavcf types or any combination of the negativities, weaknesses, insecurities, or selfishnesses that so many seem to consider human... in spite of the deceivers who fool themselves and in turn, turn on others... I believe in the goodness and love in the heart and I believe enlightened sharing, honest love, and unconditional love and trust are the true course of human sharing... I still believe...
and if I stay positive, I'll attract more like me
(and hopefully fewer deceivers and betrayers)
THE SAME-TIME MENU BAR - FOR EACH GARDEN AROUND THIS SAME TIME
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KIT
WORKLIFE
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