...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ... my "Keep In Touch" pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
"sometimes life, it moves too slow
slows to a crawl,
and then the poetry is lost
and without speed,
hope becomes certainty
and for once, I'm certain
I never felt better, now"
~ Faith No More ~
actually, I do recall a few times I've felt better...
I'm not quite moved in, but a new year begins... Aim is off on her southern trip and will be gone for the rest of the month... and I'm settling in... there's a lot of unpacking to do so I can squeeze the necessities into the room and stuff the rest in the closet so I can move around in the room and have a place to lay down flat for writing and exercise... the new phone will be activated in a few days (it amazes me how phone companies have so much trouble flicking a switch)... the car won't be ready today (hopefully tomorrow) so the progress on the jobs will have to wait... alas, not the best way to conduct an active campaign for professional positions, but the best I can do in the hole I've dug for myself depending on others...
I haven't settled in enough to connect to the net yet, so mail might bounce and these updates are behind in the upload (though you wouldn't notice unless you check daily)... moving is exciting and distracting, but these days it's also depressing because it's forced (again) and circular (again) and dependant (again) and much more compromise than I want (again and still)... I'm so tired of living in someone else's space and being told I have to leave... like the universe won't let me get over the nightmares of losing the family... like I need reminders to think about the kids... anyway, that's what life's been like since I got back down here last year... two places, two forced move outs cuz the space was needed and I was in the way... 2001 will be different, right? (of course if the right person came along and adopted me, I'd be a slave and it would be no sacrifice at all) J
so what can I do when there's nothing going on and I'm stuck without transportation and I want to share and fill the world with love and light and wonder and beauty and amazing stories (or at least smile)... and I ask and the universe provides Dream For An Insomniac and I can relate...
. o O ( revisit this later ) O o .
and so I do... it's the uncertainty factor that has me hesitating... the primary uncertainty factor is living in someone else's space... that's been life since I gave up my house for love and family in 1995... until then, I had made certain I secured my own space because I spent a wobbly time the parents space before I was old enough to move out... I am tentative about feeling comfortable here because I've been booted out of the last few places I lived... so a lot of me is prepared to suddenly be put out on the street again... that's why 99% of the stuff I have accumulated is in storage... even the little I have with me hasn't been unpacked yet since I left the frozen north... I need a place where I can feel some security...
hopefully Aim understands this and is providing it and I'll dissolve all my doubts and uncertainty when she gets back... ahhh, to have a friend and a place I can trust... that sort of life would be such a nice change J
yeah, just believe 2001 will be different J
THE SAME-TIME MENU BAR - FOR EACH GARDEN AROUND THIS SAME TIME
NEW
KIT
WORKLIFE
LIFETIME
JOURNAL
HEARTBEAT
WANTS
