2001 HEARTBEATS
"Blue, songs are like tattoos you know I've been to sea before..." ~ Joni Mitchell ~ I want to fall in love again so much it aches... and people tell me don't want it so much, don't think about it, stop looking and it will find me... get real... if the desire could be stopped it wouldn't be real for me... it would be the wishy washy fear riddled wants of those who tell me to stop... it would lose the intensity and power and genuine miraculous nature that is an experience that only unconditional devotion to cause can bring... and they look at me like I'm crazy... isn't it ironic that a person will do that just because they they don't want to take the time or open themselves to the thoughts and feelings I attempt to express enough to know what I'm talking about... crazy, huh?... and he's got bisters on his fingers... I should not be laughing I suppose, but then, if they don't take it seriously, why should I resist lightening up and accepting their choices with a smile?... alas and all that, feel free to provide a good reason J see?... told you I was in too good a mood to be bummed out... even though I'm remembering the depths of loss and even though I'm feeling the ache of unfulfilled desire... being is still too much fun to let anything bring me down for long... and for the moment, I'll just fly away on my own with arms wide open and hope that the one will fly right into them... what can I say, some people spend their who's lives waiting for a second (or first) coming... checking my heartbeats, I'll just take life as it comes J |
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