Dealing with

Difficult People

By Michael Chojnacki

      It may seem impossible to generate a feeling of gratitude toward the people who make our lives miserable, but difficult people can offer us some of life’s greatest lessons. Difficult people can cause us to feel stressed and emotionally drained, yet we can learn to diffuse the tensions by remembering our own values and how we can respond and interact with others.  

     When we encounter someone who is being difficult, what can we do?  First, we have to recognize that this person’s way of expressing themselves is an adopted pattern of behavior and it’s far from who they truly are; and second, we have to realize they are in a fragile emotional state.  Knowing this, we can learn not to take it personally and to proceed calmly while keeping our thoughts and feelings balanced. Often times, the person causing the difficulties feels they haven’t been acknowledged or taken seriously. An emotional outburst or negative expression is the only avenue a difficult person sees as a solution to their problems.  

     Instead of thinking someone is directing their negativity towards us, we can realize they are coming to us for help. Talk about a paradigm shift. Yet this simple shift in perspective allows us to respond on a higher level of consciousness as we interact with them harmoniously, without being negatively affected by their attitude.  At first this may seem impossible, however, we are always given a choice to the level of consciousness we bring to every human interaction. When we bring resistance to a difficult situation, our options are limited because our awareness remains solely focused upon the problem.  When we bring acceptance to a difficult situation, our awareness immediately opens to infinite possibilities of peaceful solutions.

     Learning to work with difficult people gives us the opportunity to refine our character, develop our patience, and teach us how to remain calm and centered without giving up our sense of inner peace.  Remember, people we perceive as difficult often correspond to a place within us that needs deeper understanding and healing. If we don't learn the lessons they offer, similar situations will arise until we do.  One of the greatest gifts we can receive from difficult people is how they can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves, guide us to discover a profound level of understanding in our own relationships, and provide us with the opportunity for the highest level of spiritual growth and personal development.  

Michael Chojnacki offers Dealing With Difficult People for conferences, corporate retreats, or a special on-site program as part of your company’s professional development.