He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the
other side of a fence.

The litigation specialist responded,

"I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it."

"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys
in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck,
I'll sue you and take everything you own."

"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Texas.
We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my
land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three
times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his
heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped
him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's
last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours
when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first
into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will
and managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of
his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."
The old farmer snidely smiled and said,

"Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."