I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you
can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

 I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people
are just jackasses.

 I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and
it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

  I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be
evenly distributed.

 I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to
others - they are more screwed up than you think.

 I've learned that depression is merely anger without
enthusiasm.

 I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is
how you take it off.

 I've learned that you can keep vomiting long
after you think you're finished.

 I've learned to not sweat the petty things,
and not pet the sweaty things.  I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and
keep coming back.   I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

 I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless
we are celebrities.

 I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match
for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't
working in your house, one of your kids did it.

 I've learned that the people you care most about in
life are taken from you too soon and all the less
important ones just never go away.

 Pass this along to 5 friends...trust me, they'll appreciate
it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen.