

I called my brother
Roy, who lived with his family in Tennessee
and asked what his
plans were for the Thanksgiving
Holidays.
He told me that since
all his children had married and now had
to "divide up" the
holiday visits, that he and his wife, Delores,
had decided to make
this decision easier for them They were
going to have Thanksgiving
dinner together, just the two of
them, in a local restaurant.
But after talking for awhile, those
plans changed. It
was all set. We were going to Tennessee for
Thanksgiving.
The day we were to
leave he must have called me ten times.
"Are y'all coming
or what?" he would ask. He was so
excited. We got a
late start and arrived in Nashville in the
wee hours of the morning,
which just added to the excitement
of the moment. My
sister, Deborah, had driven up from Alabama,
and her family came
the next day. My younger brother Payton
his wife, Rose, and
daughter Brandi and fiancee had driven from
Dallas. My brother,
Roy, has 3 children, each married with a
family of their own,
and they were all waiting up for us to arrive
that cold blustery
Tennessee night on the eve of Thanksgiving.
It was enough just
for us to be together, but The warmth and
the smell of food
cooking filled the house and the night air adding
to the magic.The carpet
of leaves, crisp and golden, that lay on
the ground created
A perfect late Autumn night.There was
something warming,
and somehow appropriate that the day we set
aside to be together
and count our blessings had truly been lined
with gold. I never
wanted it to end. Oh it was good to be
here!
But nothing
lasts forever, except loving memories.
All my family was there,
with the exception of my son, Mark,
who was in Korea,
so we made a video with Thanksgiving
greetings
from each one and
sent to him. Some stayed at the
homes of Roy's
children but we made"Baptist
Pallets" on the floor just so we
could all be together.
And we were so together! We made a pact
that we would make
this a tradition and would all return every
Thanksgiving. I wished
that everything could remain the same.
That this season would
not lead to the bleakness of winter,
and that none of us
would even have to grow older. Roy's son David,
would later tell my
daughter, "this is the first time I have seen
daddy smiling since
Big Mama, died." Roy asked me, "Dongail, do
you think if we had
a house big enough, we could all live together?
Wouldn't that be great..everybody
together again?" Of course we
both knew it was just
a wonderful dream..brought on by the feeling
of being, once again,
together with brothers and sisters.
..excerpt from a poem by Edgr Guest
My brother's passing
from this life in August 1997 has made
the Thanksgiving season
seem bittersweet.
Perhaps it is this
time of year, in autumn, when sighing leaves
die, animals gather
a winter's stock of food, and the earth's
harvest is collected
and stored, that the cycle of life and the
inevitability of
death stares us down.
How do I ever
accept losing my childhood playmate, my friend,
my brother?
Just as tho closing a book after the story
is finished?
The sun setting on
all the "yesterdays" ..never to come again.
Childhood may not
be important or even necessary to some people,
and I don't think
it was really necessary for me either. But it's
nice to have, lingering
in a place, where you can bring it back with
just a "twinge" of
memory, or the tug of a heartstring. My child-
hood with my brother
was and is important to me.
Amid
all
the pain of losing my brother I sometimes have forgotten
all the many things
for which I could and should be grateful.
Realizing that on
some days the tiniest thing that eases my
heart's burden is
indeed a blessing in itself.
And I wonder if where
he is, is he aware of the changing seasons?
Perhaps the brother
I loved so much is where the seasons
go when
they are once more
through with this earth.
And does he remember
the "earthly" traditions and the plans
we made to be
together on Thanksgiving?

We have learned to
cherish each and every day and holiday now.
Though miles may seperate
us, we are bound by our love,
our friends and family,
the loving memories of those who will
always live in our
hearts, and a merciful and healing
God.



