 The Life and Times of Shane Helms Entry #40 Sunday, December 16th, 2001. Finally, The Hurricane is back in the WWF! And all is right in the "World According to Shane." :) Now I started this writing this Diary Entry while on a plane. It was on the second leg of a trip from North Carolina to California that included a short lay over (insert dirty joke here) in Dallas/Ft. Worth. Now usually while on a plane, I will use my time to either read a book (comic), play on my laptop, or (nine times out of ten) just sleep. However, all I could think about was . . . Tic-Tacs. And why you may ask? Because on the first leg on this trip, some random guy that was sitting next to me had breath that could kill fish! You ever seen someone driving down the street trying to be cool by leaning over so far that they were almost in the passenger seat. That was me on this plane! Except I was almost in the aisle. I mean, I was leaning over as far from this guy as possible and I was still getting hit with his assbreath. The stewardess kept bumping into me. And strange thoughts kept invading my head. "Would it be considered justifiable homicide if I just killed the guy? He's about to kill me, isn't that Self-Defense? Maybe he killed the dinosaurs? I be his breath could take the rust off an old penny!" I was seriously considering trying to force feed some Tic-Tacs down his throat, but that would have placed me directly in the "line of fire" so I decided against it. Now what (in the hell) is up wit dat? And den! Another strange event from this past week was that Rob Van Dam, Mrs. Van Dam (lol), and Maria, sister of Louie Spiccoli, took me to eat at a Korean Bar-B-Q restaurant. Now check this out: You have to cook the food yourself! I'm not joking! I mean, you've got to admire the creativity behind this. Can you imagine someone coming up to you and saying, "You know, I'm thinking about opening up a restaurant. But not just any old restaurant, oh no! In my restaurant, the customers will have to cook their food themselves. And not only will they pay me to let them do this, they will tip me too!" What is the world coming to? I can barely boil water, that's why I go to restaurants, to have people cook for me. But I survived the encounter, and actually really enjoyed the food. I just had to have someone take care of the cooking detail, aka Rob's wife. LOL And den! Apparently all my mentioning of The Green Lantern and other various characters on WWF TV has made me quite the popular wrestler at DC Comics as I was recently invited to visit their main offices in New York City. I was told that I could bring a few friends, so Raven and the artist known as Blucifer came with me. Edge was invited to come as well but it turns out that he felt getting married was more important. (C'mon man, where's your priorities?) It was a great trip that including me getting so much free stuff that I had to buy another piece of luggage to get it all home! I got statues, collectibles, toys, posters, and all kinds of comics and comic related books. The tour of their offices alone was awesome but the swag made it all the more better. I wonder if they'll let me come back? :) And den! In other comic related news, readers of Powers by Brain Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming may have noticed in that one of the characters in one of it's recent issues was sporting a Hurricane Helms T-Shirt! Sweet! Oeming also has some nice things to say about me in the back of the book as well. Check it out that book if you get the chance, it's not for kids though! And that's not a bad thing, that's a good thing! And den! Wizard: The Guide to Comics, recently awarded me "The Most Entertaining Real-Life Super-Hero" in their latest edition, The Best of 2001. I rule! And den! Other brief but sweet-ass appearances by myself are in both the Lita, "It Just Feels Right" and The Hardy Boys "Leap of Faith" DVD's. Both are very cool videos concerning The Hardy's and Lita and are well worth the money. And den! I'm also on the back cover of my first WWF DVD which was also my first WWF PPV, Unforgiven. So check that out as well if you get a chance. I love being on WWF PPV's and the one I've loved the most so far has been WWF Rebellion held in Manchester, England. There were a lot of Hurri-Fans there and they were in full power as I took on Scotty 2 Hotty. The match almost marked the debut of the Hurri-Worm! :) And if I'm not mistaken (Like that ever happens! What?) you can get any or all of these items at the Shopzone on www.wwe.com. And den! Now, I spoke in my last entry about meeting Jill Thompson, well recently I got to meet her husband Brian Azzarello. Everyone that reads this site regularly should know that I am a very big (don't all guys say that?) fan of Brian's work. So it was a real thrill to meet him, and to talk to him even though we kept being interrupted by this really annoying girl who apparently wanted to apply for a position as The Hurricane's sidekick but in reality was about to get a sidekick of her own, right in the ass. But back to Brian, trust me, if you see his name on a book, just buy it, that's what I do. And den! I also recently got to meet Michael Clarke Duncan, who portrayed the role of John Coffey in "The Green Mile." Michael, who is a huge (both physically and figuratively) wrestling fan, was backstage in Aneheim, CA. He's a super nice guy and meeting him made me so much more a fan of his! And den! The Addicts are going nuts again this year taking care of me at Christmas! Thanks go out to Jodie, April, Mark, Lori, Dove, Eric, Pam, Holly, Amy, Angel, Lin, Tina, Steph, Leez, Shanna, Terri, and a lot more who sent some just really amazing gifts! It's really cool that you guys and gals who go out of your way to do stuff like that for me. Thanks again! And den! Well that's if for now, stay tuned Citizens! Your Crime Fighting SuperHero, Shane Helms And no more "And dens!!!!" |