Episode Report Cards

Valley of the Shadow of Death

Overall grade A
A little slow, not enough arc, but it rocked harder than anything else I've seen in the last six months! :-P And let's face it, even "John Smith Goes to Washington" would get a great grade being the first ep after a long wait!

Johnny B+
This was Johnny at his best. Suffering, doubted by others, but with his eye firmly on the prize at all times. He blew Francis off the screen in every encounter, he was really strong tonight. But why didn’t he call Walt after Francis called him the first time? Why traipse all the way over to Walt’s house? (we know why, because it was such a great moment, but Johnny’s trying to save a kid and he wastes time going all the way over there and lingering at the front door with Sarah instead of having Walt meet him at the mansion)

Bruce B+
He was great as always. This would be an “A” if we actually SAW him with a woman but he DID mention a date!!! WOO HOO!!! Bruce might have a life after all!!

Dana A
Anytime we get out of an ep with her only having a couple lines, she’s getting a high grade. :-P Love the new look, babes. How about showing it off somewhere else, like Siberia??

Sarah B-
Seems stiffer than Ted Kennedy’s first drink of the night any time Johnny’s around. Obviously feeling guilty for scratching that nasty itch the end of last season. But high marks for her loathing ‘tude against Stillson.

Purdy B-
Does he ever preach any more? All I’ve seen him do lately is roll around in these fat cars and wear Joseph Abboud suits more expensive than my pie bill for ALL of last year. I wanted to see him slap around ole Francis and educate the man on the finer points of God’s real message!

Walt B
Best ‘reactioner’ on the show. Any time we haven’t had a smile in five minutes the director can just aim the camera at Walt and he bails them out. Nothing will top Walt’s reaction and “do you two wanna be alone???” comment from last season’s “Enigma” but his reaction when Johnny interrupts dinner is fabulous.

Snippy FBI Woman F
Did she sleep through Criminology 101? “We know he touched the note because he stuck it to the wall!!!” Oh yeah? Ever hear of this new invention called GLOVES???? Christ Almighty, could she have BEEN any dumber? (Johnny even saw the gloves in his vision!!!)

Francis F
So this is your master plan? 1) Get a little revenge on the guy who bails you out of bankruptcy by buying your hideous company. 2) Harass someone you consider a God backed prophet all so you can give him a bizarre, incoherent pep talk. 3) Almost kill a kid. 4) Death by police firing squad. I think I’ve just found someone dumber than the Snippy FBI Woman. Except that he seemed to know an AWFUL lot about Johnny. Where did he get all this info? Anyone else think he was psychic for the first couple acts? Wait a minute, he IS a moron because he ALSO mentioned the only way he could have pressed the note to the wall was by using the kid!! Did he and Snippy FBI girl go to the same “nope, never heard of gloves” grade school??? Maybe they both grew up in Arizona.

Li'l Johnny C
He was there.

Moral of the Ep:
“If God makes your company go belly up, start doing REALLY crazy things in his name to punish him!”

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