There are all kinds of people in the world. People who dream of getting a spectacular job, of having an enviable career. People who long for the ultimate partner, the perfect wedding. People who hanker for a great adventure. And people who dream about getting on TV.
Enter reality TV. Got a dream? Sign up and some network executive can make your dream come true, and entertain millions in the process. I know some of you, more of you than one might think, have a weakness for Survivor. Or Joe Millionaire. Maybe even the Bachelor or the Bachelorette.
I am not one to watch reality TV, I must confess. Low brow. Exploitive. Undercutting actors and netting big profits for already enormous businesses. Until I too succumbed – to the Apprentice. It didn’t sound that interesting in the beginning. Watching 16 people compete for a job and one by one getting fired didn’t sound that compelling. But it was fascinating to watch. And the Chicago’s own Bill Ranick won – he got the job! How cool is that?
Bill – the Chicago boy with the right stuff, at least according to Donald Trump - had a dream. And that dream wasn’t to hear the words “You’re Fired.” He dreamed of hearing Donald say, “You’re Hired!” and his dream came true – last week on live national TV Bill became the Donald’s Apprentice and he got to hear those precious words: “You’re Hired!”
Bill, in all his energetic enthusiasm, had focus – had his eye on the prize, and he won the chance to oversee the Trump project here in Chicago.
But Bill’s turn at reality TV stardom has done little to prepare him for what comes next. His dreams, his hopes and expectations will not match the reality of the challenges, the unknown tasks and pitfalls that lie before him in the coming year. And I am sure 10 years ago neither Bill not anyone in his life would have predicted he’d be offered a job on national TV by Donald Trump.
Reality TV, along with showing the base nature of humanity, also shows in dramatic relief that not all of our dreams come true, and when our dreams do come true, things are not going to turn out the way we expected.
A friend of mine spent her whole life wanting to be married. She wanted to live in her hometown, be an art teacher and have a family. She has all of those things. She married a guy who comes from a family similar to her own and their families get along great. She has everything she asked for. And she is miserable. It is nothing like she expected.
When we actually realize our dreams we often find out that reality is nothing like we expected. What do we do then? Do we stop dreaming, because our expectations were not met? No! We need to open our eyes to the current reality, so we are able to see things as they are, enjoy what we have, and , yes, we need to keep dreaming.
There will be things we find when we pursue our dreams that we were not expecting, and new paths and directions will unfold before us as we go. If you had told me when I was little that I would talk in front of people for a living I would have said: “No Way!”
I was petrified to speak in front of people. But I loved to dance, and to dance in front of people. I could perform in front of a theater filled with a couple thousand, but I couldn’t open my mouth. Yet that dream to be a dancer gave me two things: dance as a spiritual practice, which is what it has become for me, and the ability to be comfortable in front of people. This is not how I expected my dream to unfold, but I was led to a new place and I was open to new directions, I was able to cultivate new dreams.
How our dreams unfold is mysterious. Yet if we pay attention to the present moment while we look toward our dreams, we find a good balance between a satisfied and an energized life.
So dreams are important. They help us point our lives in specific directions. Dreams can fuel our creativity and push us to achieve things we might not otherwise do. Yet, our dreams unfold in mysterious and unexpected ways. We need to pay attention to the present moment even as we pursue our dreams – then we don’t miss the detour signs on the side of the road! This balance between the present moment and an imagined future helps us live lives that are simultaneously satisfying and energized.
Dreaming is an aspect of life with which children can really teach us grown up folks a thing or two. It’s like our imaginations get rusty as we age, we forget how to dream as we get older. Unfortunately, we have sung the children out and they have left the room. Maybe we should all go downstairs. . .
I was playing Legos with a 4 year old a few years ago. He was building a plane, and he wanted me to make one too. After a while I asked him what the flat yellow Legos that were protruding far from the front of the “plane” were for. Of, those are the beds so the pilot can nap. Right. The four year old mind at work. Not something I would have thought of – giving the pilot a place to sleep and putting those quarters OUTSIDE the plane itself. I sat there a bit incredulous. When I was his age I loved to build flying machines out of Legos too. And they were willed with flights of fancy like his plane was – I seem to recall one of my special planes having a swimming pool. Not too practical. This memory relieved me: Yes! At one time I too had a creative, outside the box mind like his. And I was a little sad too: it seems the grown up me has way too many rules getting in the way. Growing up killed off some of my creativity.
Think back to when you were in grade school. What did you want to be when you grew up? Roger, one of our second graders, wants to design rockets. My friends’ son who is 4 wants to be an oceanographer and study whales. I suspect 9 year old Caroline is thinking about the ministry. She definitely want to be in charge of something.
What was your dream? Dreams usually follow our gifts and interests. Can we shoot hoops? Basketball. Can we play an instrument? Musician. Love solving problems and analyzing stuff? Scientist. Enjoy arguing? Lawyer. The dream is there to help give shape and direction to our gifts and talents. It doesn’t mean we’ll end up being a concert pianist, or a rocket scientist, or the President of the United States – unless you are Bill Clinton. But it does mean we will tend to pursue things we enjoy, things that follow our values.
Which brings me to my next point: our dreams should never come at any cost. Having a dream does not exempt us from living responsibly and thoughtfully considering all the facts and the consequences of our actions. As religious people, we strive to develop a strong moral fiber, so that our dreams and desires do not come at the cost of ethical behavior. You can be successful and not be a bully. Following your heart’s delight means you still need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of how you got there. Dreams are wishes we hold in our hearts that direct our inner compass and lead us through life.
We choose to be socially active because we have dreams for our world. We choose to become partnered because we dream of sharing a life with someone. We choose to have children because we dream of having a family.
My good friend sat in her living room late into the night after the kids were put to bed. She said to me, “I have everything I want. A job I love, a home I like, a wonderful husband, healthy children and good friends. Sometimes I wonder what comes next. All of my dreams have been realized. Whether we have realized all our dreams or our hopes have been dashed, continuing to dream is important.
We need to recapture our dreaming. We need to spend time opening ourselves up to new possibilities and new ideas. New adventures and new relationships. What else might we like to do? What else might be our hearts delight?
I know a woman who decided in her 60’s she wanted to be an ice skater. So she did it. I know someone else who decided he wanted to leave full time consulting to teach high school and he did it. What is open for the young is any possibility. As we make choices it can seem that the possibilities shrink. This is true to an extent. Barbara isn’t going to skate in the 2006 Olympics. But she can still participate in her sport.
So what do you want to do? Do you want to learn to ride a dirt bike? Or sing rap songs? Write poetry? What kind of life do you want and are you living that life? Keep dreaming. It keeps life interesting.