If I was ol' Santa, you know what I'd do? I'd dump silly
gifts that are given to you. And deliver some things just inside your
front door, Things you have lost, but treasured before.
I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, and to go along with it, a
neat tiny figure. Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted so
things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I'd draw in your tummy and
smooth down your back 'til you'd be a dream in those tight
fitting slacks.
I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin so you wouldn't spend
hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
and you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.
No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes no searching for spectacles
when they're right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny from a doctor who
thinks you're a nervous old granny.
You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take, and no heating
pad needed since your muscles won't ache.
Yes, if I was Santa, you'd never look stupid; you'd be a cute little
chick with the romance of a cupid.
I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle and the
joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I'm not Santa.
I'm simply just me the matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got but I'm due
at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.
Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere,
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.
Note from GranGran: I don't know who wrote this but she must know me and what
I want for Christmas :o)
|
