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Rules of the Air
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(from Australian Aviation
Magazine)
Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull
the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling
the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than
up there wishing you were down here.
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to
keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot
start sweating.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.
A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.
You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power
to taxi to the ramp.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the
angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of
survival and vice versa.
Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get
to five minutes earlier.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking
about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide
out in clouds.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the
number of take offs you've made.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of
experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you
empty the bag of luck.
Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels
them.
If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going
round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the
passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour,
the ground has yet to lose.
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
experience usually comes from bad judgment.
It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as
much as possible.
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And
it's not subject to repeal.
The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above
you, the runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
The Rope
There were eleven people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them
from a
helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they
didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really
touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the
others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands
and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
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