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"BREAST CANCER"
the dreaded words that no one ever wants to hear.
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Would you like to join me on my journey?
A few weeks before a scheduled appointment with my primary care physician, I
noticed my right nipple was slightly inverted. Upon closer examination I
realized there was a knot/mass/lump/something just above the nipple. The
appointment was May 20, 2005. I told her my next mammogram was at the end of
June, but she said "No, let's do it sooner."
I've been ever so good about going for mammograms since my mother had a
mastectomy five years ago. We'll celebrate her "five years cancer free" event
in July.
WOW -- then begins the whirlwind. I went for a mammogram on Wednesday, June 1,
2005. The Radiologist had the results to my doctor that afternoon. I knew
when the call was from her, rather than from her nurse, that the news
probably wasn't good. She said it looked "suspicious."
I asked "Can I assume that suspicious translates to you are thinking malignment
rather than benign?" Yes, that was her opinion and we discussed surgeons. She
said "Let me call a woman surgeon that I know and discuss it with her and I'll
get back with you."
My husband, Ronnie, went with me to see the surgeon on
Friday afternoon, June
3. After she examined me, she
explained
options. Said a pathologist would be present to check the tissue but she felt
sure a complete mastectomy would be required and was I in agreement. I had
already accepted that so it wasn't really a big shock to me but I turned to
look at Ronnie and see if he agreed. Seeing tears in his eyes just broke my
heart. He didn't mind the mastectomy (no breast) he just didn't want me to
have to go through it.
Had to be at the hospital by noon on Tuesday, June 7. Of course, no food or
drink after midnight. The "no food" didn't bother me, but I sure missed my
coffee. We had no more than gotten checked in and they were coming to take me
to surgery. Ronnie and my parents got to walk to the doors of the operating
room with me. The nurse said "one more smooch and we're outta here." I had
just one little tiny moment of panic when I had to let go of Ronnie's hand, but
everyone was so wonderful that I was fine.
Guess it was easier for me than for my family and friends in the waiting room.
Surgery took a little longer than they had been told. My first coherent
question was
"Has anyone spoken with my family?"
The nurse in the recovery room was so sweet. She told me she had a mastectomy
six years ago and told me some exercises I could do. I was trying to do those
by the time I was wheeled back to my room. TRUTH & HONESTY? My biggest fear
was that I wouldn't have good use of my right arm and couldn't be on the
computer.
Back to my room and how wonderful to see my husband and everyone else. After a
kiss from Ronnie, my granddaughter, Jena, was the one I wanted to touch. She's
my angel and our
Miracle Baby.
God is good. For all the horror stories I had heard about the first night and
the next day being bad, I didn't have any of that. Truthfully, Ronnie & I
could have slept all night long if not for nurses and whoever coming in ever so
often.
Surgery Tuesday and came home on Wednesday.
I have two wonderful sons -- one lives only about 35 miles away; the other is
way off in New Hampshire and that is entirely too far from Texas. Well, guess
what? He asked if I'd mind him being here while I recuperated? Are you
kidding? I can't think of any better medicine. Scott (the oldest) picked up
Todd (the youngest) at the airport on Thursday. He was here until the next
Friday and how I loved it. He and Ronnie both pampered me big time and I
finally had to say "Please, let me do what I feel like doing -- I am NOT an
invalid."
Todd took me to the doctor on June 17 to have stitches and drainage tubes
removed. Pathology report was pretty good. Tumor was non-agressive even
though the size was 2.8 cm. The size classifies it as Stage 2. Seven lymph
nodes were removed and they were clear
as were blood vessels. I feel as if I am learning a new language.
Scott brought Jena to stay with me while he took Todd to the airport that
afternoon. My "mom heart & arms" sure felt empty when they left.
Uncle Todd & Jena
are big buddies and she had been here earlier in the week visiting with both
of us.
The following week kept me busy with tests, scans, etc. Heck, I think every
part of my body has been looked at, except possibly my big toes. :o)
Next stop on June 29th was
The Longview Cancer Center
where I met Dr. Rama Koya. He's second from the right in the picture at
the top of the page. Ronnie went with me and we were both so impressed by the
care, concern and compassion that everyone at the center showed.
A couple of more tests were scheduled for the next week. GEEZ, come on folks,
I'm ready to start the chemo and get it over with. Then it's back to the
surgeon to get the
Port-a-Cath.
How I wish she had done that at the same time she did the mastectomy.
While we are in waiting mode would be a good time for me to say a very
heartfelt "THANK YOU" to my real life family and friends. The thoughts,
prayers, telephone calls,
words of concern, cards, flowers and food have just been astonishing. And in
addition to that, I've got to add a huge thanks to those of you I've met on the
internet or via eMail. I love
you all. The notes, eCards, messages and prayers have meant so much to me.
Hey, my eMail friends even sent me flowers when I had surgery -- not JUST
flowers, but absolutely the largest arrangement I think I've ever seen. Yep,
that's my gray headed self peeking through the petals. :o)
And, at the very top of the list is my wonderful husband, Ronnie. (he also
answers to "GranDad") Without him I couldn't have gotten through any of this.
OK, finally it's on to Chemotheraphy. The sooner we start; the sooner it will
be over.
After several discussions, Ronnie and I decided Friday afternoon would be the
time of choice for me to have Chemo. He could leave work early to take me and
then be home with me the next day in case I was sick. That's easier for him
than missing two days in the middle of the week.
Guess this would be a good time to explain that I'll have eight rounds of chemo
three weeks apart.
The first four are
Adriamycin
and
Cytoxan
(Administration takes a little less than 2 hours)
The last four will be
Taxotere
(I think administration time is about the same as the first four.)
I must admit we awaited July 19, 2005 with anticipation, misgivings and a great
deal of dread. We both had heard horror stories about how sick it could make
you and we knew of some folks who had to go to the emergency room during the
night after their first chemo treatment.
I don't know if I've mentioned before how absolutely wonderful everyone at The
Cancer Center is. I've never seen such caring, compassion and concern. By the
time the lady got through talking to us and explaining everything, I really
wasn't even all that nervous about the treatment beginning. We came home armed
with an anti-nausea medication "just in case." I was told to drink lots of
water and that's certainly not a problem because I LIKE water.
We got home, sat on the patio for awhile and let our big hunka black dog,
Jaz,
romp and play. Back inside for supper (yep, that's what we call our evening
meal -- remember we live in Texas.) Then it's back to our normal routine:
Ronnie watching TV and me at the computer with Jaz at my feet. So far, so good
-- no signs of nausea. THANK YOU GOD!
To bed and slept great except I did have to set the alarm to get up and go to
the bathroom (instructions from the Chemo lady) during the night.
The next day I was beginning to feel sympathy for fish in a fishbowl. Ronnie
kept checking on me and other folks called throughout the day. My reply was
"Nope, not sick at all. I feel just fine."
From the very beginning of this roller coaster ride, I must admit that I've
felt such a sense of calm and every event has been so much better/easier than I
anticipated. Chemo (at least Chemo #1) was no exception. Hope you don't get
tired of hearing me say it: "GOD IS GOOD!"
July 22, 2005:
Back in for blood tests. Nurse says everything is GREAT! Yes,
I've had a day or two where I'm a little tired, but still no nausea.
July 28, 2005:
I shampooed my hair yesterday and everything was still all
attached. UH OH -- this afternoon I ran my hands through my hair and a few
strands came out. Guess this would be a good time to tell you a story and let
you know how crazy I am. Yes, I knew hair loss meant hair on the head, arms,
legs and pubic area. Finally two days before my first chemo I realized "OH HEY
-- GEEZ CRIMINY -- that means eyebrows and eyelashes, too." Well, bummer, I
hadn't even thought of that before -- must admit that thought did bother me a
bit. I've rarely used mascara because my lashes are dark and long and I don't
even own an eyebrow pencil. Look out Walmart, here I come.
July 29, 2005:
OK, I'll admit it. I feel worse today than I have since chemo
-- just absolutely bone weary tired. I saw Dr. Koya this afternoon and the
blood test showed a low white blood cell count. I got a shot of
Neupogen,
which is a blood cell booster. He also prescribed a pain pill, which I was
quite sure I wouldn't need. Guess again. A side effect of the shot is deep,
deep pain/aching in muscles or bones. In my case, it was the lower back and
left shoulder. OUCH!!
July 30, 2005:
Ronnie and I went to visit my parents and get wigs, scarves,
etc. from her. (Yes, she's a packrat and still had them from five years ago.)
Since my hair was coming out by the handfuls, I decided to let her go on and
cut it. YIKES -- she opted for scissors rather than clippers.
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Now this is a shock!
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...but Jaz still loves me.
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August 2, 2005:
Had to be out an about for a bit today. Oh my, what CAN I do
with this wig?
Among other things I met my daughter-in-law and granddaughter for lunch. When
we left, I said "I gotta go home and get outta this hair." When I got home a
good
friend, Patsy Dreesen, pulled in the driveway right behind me. She reached to
hug me and I
said "Wait, let me shed this thing." I don't think my spiky head shocked her
too much. Gotta add a note here: Patsy was the Justice of the Peace that
married Ronnie & I eleven years ago.
OK, I gave wigs a try...........but I think this is gonna be my LOOK:
Friday, August 5, 2005:
Second chemo. Thank you, God. This one was just as
easy as the first one. The following Monday I had to go back for a
Nulasta
shot to keep the white blood count up. Felt good enough to drive myself. It's
39.2 miles from my house to The Cancer Center. Long trip for a shot......but
OH WELL.
Went by The Women's Health Botique to look at wigs. HEY, I'm not my mother --
I need my own wig. I saw one I liked. Tried it on and "IT WAS ME." The lady
brought a couple of others but I didn't even try them on. As I was paying, I
asked her if she had ever had someone try on just ONE wig and walk out wearing
it.
She said "I was thinking that very thing when you put that one on........but it
is just perfect."
Wanna see?
Believe me -- you don't EVEN want to see what's under that wig.....or I guess I
should say what's
NOT
under it. This is the first time in 60 years I've not had hair.....and my
head stays cold all the time. Ronnie told me I didn't have to wear a cap or
scarf for him. He said bald didn't bother him a bit.
I assured him I wasn't doing it for him -- I was doing it for my own comfort.
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Breast Cancer - The Beginning
Breast Cancer - Chemo Continues
Breast Cancer - Life After Chemo
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and click on the pink button that says FUND FREE MAMMOGRAMS. You can visit
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