mphasis on Victim-Self-Blaming

 

“God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.  Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it; Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next—Amen.”—REINHOLD NIEBUHR

 

“...despite Hitler’s anti-Semitic and genocidal tendencies, he was an individual of great courage... Hitler’s success was not based on his extraordinary gifts alone. His genius was an intuitive sense of the mushiness, the character flaws, the weakness masquerading as morality that was in the hearts of the statesmen who stood in his path.”—Pat Buchanan
 

“When I went back to the diocese office about a year later and told [Father] Nickless I wanted reimbursement for my counseling and my other medical expenses related to the abuse [from when he was 10-13 years old], he told me apparently my counseling did me no good because I still seemed angry.  Well, I was getting angrier and angrier as time went on....  There were many letters and phone calls and a few more personal visits over the next several years.  It was always the same.  ‘Forgive and forget.’  ‘Put it behind you.’  ‘Move on.’”—Joe McGee, No Longer Catholic—No Longer Quiet, in Freethought Today, March 2006

 

“As Orwell [and, probably, Ayn Rand, a refugee from the USSR] saw so clearly, totalitarianism [and any other absolutism] is inseparable from a constant pedagogy of suspicion and hatred.”—François Furet, The Passing of an Illusion, The Idea of Communism in the Twentieth Century

 

“I do not want the peace that passeth understanding.  I want the understanding which bringeth peace.”—Helen Keller

 

 

 

ollowing is the sermon in AA's Big Book, which goes on and on about how much this sort of approach anathematizes hurt feelings, namely resentment anger and fear, though the Big Book gives only passing attention to the sorts of attitudes that fit the old-fashioned character defects.  This is out of Chapter 5, "How it Works,"  the chapter that begins with the famous, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path."  The following is out of the explanation of how members are to do the fourth of the Twelve Steps, "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves," the fifth, "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs," and the sixth, "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."  So the following is what a moral inventory is supposed to stress, "Resentment is the 'number one' offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else....  If we were to live, we had to be free of anger....  [Fear] somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.  It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it."  Since AA founder Bill Wilson was a stockbroker, and the Big Book was written during the Great Depression, AA-style self-help is basically a stockbroker lecturing those living in the Great Depression that they should just take response-ability for their own welfare, and stop whining.  These "defects of character" are the same as what Buchanan and Hitler meant by "character flaws," i.e. not handling one's own problems (whatever they may be) with enough stolid and self-reliant backbone.

This shows how a very appropriate slogan like those of AA, would be, "Year in and year out,"  as in that statistic from Antidepressant Treatment—the Essentials, by John H. Greist, MD and Thomas H. Greist, MD, "According to National Institutes of Mental Health figures, 20,000,000 people or approximately 15% of the U.S. adult population suffers from a serious depressive disorder in any given year."  Year in and year out, these people are each simply to get treatment for their own problems, including cognitive therapy that would wash their brains of passive thoughts.  Everyone knows that what’s at fault, is inside the millions of victims.  It seems that a social problem of this magnitude, could just be brushed aside.

 

 

 

 

This doesn't just condemn overreactions, but resentment anger and fear in general.  In fact, Narcotics Anonymous even has a pamphlet titled "The Triangle of Self-Obsession," in which the triangle consists of resentment anger and fear, though narcotics addicts would tend to have a lot more real character defects than alcoholics would.  This self-help conception of personal responsibility is how the AA approach has most influenced psychology in general, since only addicts would find the rest of the AA approach relevant.  Everybody loves, "God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.  Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it; Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next—Amen."   "God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference," doesn't necessarily mean, "Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it," but is necessarily that unconditional, all-or-nothing, and

Agent Orange has a webpage on how shocked Reinhold Niebuhr was about the fact that Frank Buchman, the founder of the Oxford Group (now called "Moral Re-Armament"; "Oxford" must have sounded too dreadfully intellectual), the conservative Christian group that AA grew out of, had attitudes toward Hitler that were similar to those of Pat Buchanan.  Niebuhr was a hell-raiser, before Stalinism made him fatalistic about human nature.  Yet if any organization preaches the Serenity Prayer at people, the final result would be the same, that self-reliant STRENGTH seems good, and weakness that tries to get persuasive strength from emotion and/or abstractions seems intolerably bad.  As the history of The AA School of Self-Help Psychology shows, Nazism, minus anti-Semitism and committing outrageous aggression, equals taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as you’d have it.

The whole idea behind setting up Al-Anon, and, after that, all the other ladies' auxiliaries of Twelve-Step groups, was to use the same spirituality to help addicts' friends and family members cope with their realities.  This has been a role model for self-help for those who must deal with big problems, in general.  Psychological literature might say that this philosophy that insists that whoever has a problem, even hardship and/or others' sinfulness ad infinitum, must simply deal with it by courageously changing what he can and serenely accepting whatever he can't, is good for addicts since those who've become addicts tend to overreact to bad things.  Yet it's applied just as readily to those whose problems, including the hardship and sinfulness, are very real.  According to the Serenity Prayer school of psychology, the fact that the person who has the problem, would simply be held response-able for dealing with it by courageously changing what he could and serenely accepting what he couldn't, would be a fait accompli.  This reductionism seems good, since the more that such a conflict is reduced to how the person with the problem could most effectively take care of his own problem, the more that the personal responsibility for the problem would go to the person who's the most motivated to deal with it effectively.  It's pretty safe to say that there's always an out, in that if the person who has the problem wants to be well-adjusted and non-passive, then she'll see how what caused the problem is at least excusable, and how much she plays an active role.  Those who aren't that forgiving could seem suppressive, and, therefore, scary in their victim-power.

 

The homepage of the Mental Illness—What a Difference a Friend Makes website, by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, says, "An estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older—about one in four adults—suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year."  As the title suggests, this website is about getting the friends of the 26.2% of the American adult population, to support these people rather than stigmatizing them.  The ways in which one friend treats another, is one of the few sociological factors of this huge social problem, that we could honorably take seriously.

The Learning About Depression webpage on the Zoloft website, says, "If you have depression, this sad mood along with other symptoms can last weeks, months, or even years if not treated.  Depression isn't a sign of weakness or a character flaw.  It's a real medical condition, but there are ways to successfully treat depression....  Depressive disorders affect about 34 million American adults."

 

Manic-Depressive Illness, Bipolar Disorders and Recurrent Depression, by Dr. Frederick K. Goodwin and Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, says, in its chapter on personality differences, "Character has been defined as 'personality evaluated'—that aspect of an individual which bears a moral stamp and reflects the person's integrative and organizing functions.  The concept of character is employed less frequently in the United States than in Europe, although it is often used interchangeably with that of personality."  Actually, the word character is used plenty in the United States, whether it be in comments on depression or from the likes of Pat Buchanan and Frank Buchman, to pass judgment on how integrated and organized are traumatized people.  After all, such judgments aren't moralisticSomeone absolutely has to provide our society's homeostasis, since things simply have to remain integrated and organized.

When you've seen ads and other guides that say things like this, you may have thought, "So how am I supposed to fit in with all this?  That rate of depression is so high that this can't be just one of the diseases that are parts of the natural order!  In a society with rampant depression, serenely and courageously dealing with such realities would tend more toward 'Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it,' than toward, 'In an imperfect world, sometimes things will inevitably go wrong, and you'll just have to change what you can and accept what you can't.'  Also, 'defects of character,' 'character flaws,' etc., tend to mean literally weaknesses of character, untermensch character flaws like resentment, anger, fear, and the wimpiness that depressed people might seem to have.  Sure, the übermensch character flaws might be destructive, but if we don't take this sinful world as it is, we'd seem too untermensch, resentful angry and/or fearful.  On one hand you have the psychological advisors and other pragmatists who are very aware of how important fitting in always is, and on the other you have natural human feelings.  An untermensch-phobia could become popular, since this sort of character defect is insidious so those accused of it can't be presumed innocent until proven guilty, and one can't defend himself against it without looking as if he's re-victimizing the victims."

 

 

People's coping skills must be

 

 

 uch is Victim Correction as a Panacea~

  As the above says, this is Al-Anon approved literature, for Alateen.  You couldn’t make this stuff up!  Persuasion to think like this works best with Groupthink, but if you, on your own, must deal with a devastating reality in order to fit in and function, then you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do, and our self-responsible cultural norms would provide the Groupthink.  As Addiction: Why Can’t They Just Stop?, by John Hoffman and Susan Froemke, says, in a survey of addicts’ family members, “...the words that everyone used were powerfully negative: ‘devastating,’ ‘abusive,’ ‘horrible’.”  Serenity, indeed!

Whether or not you live with an addict, etc., whatever you must do to take care of yourself, is whatever you must do to take care of yourself.  Self-help means that if it’s your problem, then you provide the help.  Victim-blaming doesn’t require a belief in a just world, and is most important when someone must self-motivatedly take response-ability for injustices.  As Dr. Thomas A. Harris wrote in the preface of his I’m OK—You’re OK, “To many people [psychiatry] is like a blind man in dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there,” but Al-Anon-style psychology-psychiatry, neo-Buddhism, is productive, does produce contrived serenity and courage, whereas telling addicts’ family members, “You’re OK, even if his addiction really bothers you,” wouldn’t:mindless formula, mindful victims.  Attention must be systematically focused on how the victims could most effectively take response-ability for their own welfare, since attention given to anything else would be unpragmatic.  For an exemplary alkie’s kid who looks like Archie, to preach, “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, should seem like wryly Kafkaesque theater of the absurd, but instead that seems very pragmatic and honorable.  They’re just trying to help him take care of himself better, which he really needs.  No self-responsibility for victims sounds nice, but all of it would help them.  No matter what any Al-Anon or Alateen members may whine about, one could respond, “But to look at yourself instead of blaming others would benefit you, by changing what you can and accepting what you can’t!”  That’s reality, not victim-blaming.  Even if this requires more Stoicism than some Stoic saints had, if that’s what reality requires, then that’s what it requires.  (These saints’ self-control shows that it’s possible, and Al-Anon-style self-control isn’t moralistic.)  The alkies aren’t controlling Al-Anon members in the authoritarian, anti-freedom sense; that’s the way that life sometimes goes.  We all must adjust to our realities.  That’s inherent to life.  To end the description of each and every traumatic experience with, “So now I’m supposed to just shut up and deal with this reality, since doing so would benefit me,” might sound like the punch line of a sick joke, but the bottom line must always be pragmatic and well-adjusted.  That’s how victim correctors are supposed to operate, since correction is good, and a lack of it is self-defeating.  This is the language of letting go.  Unless what happened was so extreme that this would sound untenable, trying to correct the person who caused the problem, even assertively, could very easily seem or suggest: unrealistic, unreliable, stupid, conditional, optional, half-hearted, limited, judgmental, troublemaking, “on principle,” moralistic, unattractive, sophistry-rewarding, altruistic, controlling, whiny, mollycoddling, intellectualist, pathetic, resentful, maladjusted, negative, blaming, subjective, unproven, emotionalistic, manipulative, passive, etc., while trying to correct the person who has the problem in ways that would help him “take care of himself” better, could very easily seem or suggest: realistic, reliable, wise, necessary, vital, steadfast, limitless, forgiving, peace-making, pragmatic, trendy, marketable, success-rewarding, “getting on with life,” self-empowering, gutsy, achievement-oriented, down-to-earth, proud, competitive, well-adjusted, hopeful, solving, objective, self-justifying, practical, self-reliant, active, etc.  Al-Anon would probably say that the reason why they’d expect members to accept whatever alkies do is that their disease of addiction makes them not guilty by reason of insanity, but if a non-addict caused a member a big problem, the only things that would really matter would be the victim’s serenity and courage, and the same is true for self-help in general.  Coping with reality requires that the realities be interchangeable.  What could possibly keep victim correction in check, limiting self-responsibility to what’s reasonable?

 

(Cartoon generated by “Build Your Own Meat”)

 

“Archie” was taught to have great confidence in the self-reliance and self-determination of the individual.  Instinctively, Americans would tend to be a lot less offended by Al-Anon-style victim correction, than by the whining and the victim-power that it corrects.  That self-help formula feels right, helpful, beneficial, self-empowering, resilient, self-efficacious.  Victims’ counselors care about them.  This empathy requires correcting them, saving them from their own negativity and passivity.  After all, “Oh, you poor thing!”, treats people as things.  Victim correctors only want addicts’ kids, etc., to be more self-efficacious, serene, etc.  The nescient majority has no problem with this level of victim correction, with just expecting people to “get on with life” despite realities this lurid, which seem to be just acceptable losses.  The middle-class approach is about solving problems self-reliantly and realistically, so we should teach the same self-responsible ideas that it does, instead of the petty bourgeois approach, which is palliative.  Coping with reality means overlooking some realities, and such pragmatic and red-blooded cultural norms have to be very powerful.  As White House press secretary Ari Fleischer unabashedly said after Bush admitted that the Iraq-Niger-uranium documents are fake, “Yes, the president has moved on.  And, I think, frankly, much of the country has moved on, as well,” a top-notch professional attempt to get the public to conform to letting go regarding Bush’s Machiavellianism.  (Fleischer is rebelling from his petty bourgeois family, who obviously can afford not to adequately appreciate why, in the real world, sometimes when others cause you problems it’s necessary to move on rather than whine and intellectualize.)  Caring about social problems is so passé, so 1960s, even caring about our rampant depression.  During the Vietnam War, defending it by telling opponents to move on, would have seemed morally bankrupt, rather than unconditionally resilient.  As Al-Anon shows, it’s possible for pragmatists to expect someone to move on from, let go of, etc., literally anything that he can’t change.

That’s how all cultural conditioning and social pressures work, including that of all those strange foreigners who can’t think for themselves.  (BTW, those who think for themselves wouldn’t conclude that for 15% of the adult population to suffer a serious depressive disorder in any given year, is only natural.)  Depression is the only dread disease of which many of the causes seem sacrosanct.

Nothing that an Al-Anon or Alateen member could possibly say, could possibly counter expectations that are based on what the real world objectively requires.  This moral bankruptcy requires you to toe the line, even when the choices that caused the problems have nothing to do with addiction.  No matter what any problem parent might do that could traumatize his kid, he absolutely could change himself, and absolutely can’t change anyone else including the parent, which is all that the zeitgeist of The Serenity Prayer cares about.  A priori, that’s all that you could care about.  That mustn’t seem repulsive.  You mustn’t really care about “the elephant in the living room” if you can’t change the elephant.  If you think that that’s revolting, then that would be very unserene, discouraging, etc.  Obviously, that, like Bontsha the Silent, is far from a natural way to think, though it could be called “cognitive therapy” (“Behavior Therapists and Cognitive Behavior Therapists... concentrate on a person’s views and perceptions about their life, rather than personality traits.”), which has been called, “a natural alternative to anti-depressant medication.”  The above is the fully-approved outlook, since it’s very effective in preventing depression.  All that you’d need to give self help advice, would be a tape recording that says, “It would really do you a lot of good if you changed what you can and accepted what you can’t!  That’s just the way the real world works!”, and you’d play that over and over as the person describes his own trauma.  Any reasonable alternatives to victim correction as a panacea, could seem too unrealistic, fallible, subjective, passive, defeatist, untermensch, etc., for the realities that one must deal with.  Pragmatism leads to happiness.  Victim-correctors, therefore, are the ones who really care about victims.

   If one were to apply what On Speculation and Manipulation in Therapy says, “When it works, justice is always very particular.  It proceeds on a case-by-case basis with a careful weighing of the facts and an equally careful examination of the underlying logic of key arguments,” certainly the specifics of what addicts’ kids must deal with, would argue for someone else being to blame.  Yet blaming others wouldn’t accomplish anything, and would divert attention from solving one’s own problems.  It’s your problem, so what are you going to do about it?  You’d better just serenely surrender to the inevitable.  If we showed an understanding acceptance toward everyone, including the people who have the problems and aren’t dealing with them adequately, nobody would solve them, and the victims would be weakened in the long run.  For these people to get on track in taking care of themselves, is the only thing that really matters.  If everything must be pragmatic, nothing can be sacred.  “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, is inculcated humility, expedient and well-adjusted, without coercion or authoritarian obeisance so this is pro-freedom.   Even if the reason for the “negative thoughts” that the victim is washing his own brain of, is that he was unfairly overpowered, that wouldn’t be an authoritarian brainwashing, so his sincere opinion could still seem to be dirt that’s to be washed away and replaced with what he’s supposed to believe.  The October, 2007 issue of Counselor, the Magazine for Addiction Professionals includes an article that says, “rigid fidelity may produce an adverse effect,” but for those who must deal with realities like this, rigid fidelity is as necessary as are adequate resiliency and coping skills.  Naïveté doesn’t work.  Victim-blaming optimistically and determinedly looks for very necessary self-motivated solutions, so, in the words of the Downing Street memo, “the intelligence and the facts” must be “fixed around the policy.”

Reductionism is key.  Ambrose Bierce defined platitude as, “A moral without the fable,” and the self-reliant, self-responsible, morals of victim correction sound a lot better without the fables, which would have told of what the people had to deal with self-reliantly.  The central message of any self-help approach for people in trouble is that to help yourself: No matter what caused your problem, you absolutely must focus your attention on correcting yourself, since you absolutely can change yourself, absolutely can’t change anyone else, and absolutely must make your life productive (whatever that requires).  The real world requires certain things.  Everyone must play their part.  The only choice that you have is either you do whatever it takes to deal with your problem, or it doesn’t get dealt with.  The only legit question is, “Can I change this?”, so no injustices could seem profound.  As long as they happened in the past, they’re past history.  Addicts’ friends and loved ones are the ones who are motivated to correct themselves, and they need more motivation to: change, empower themselves, accommodate to reality, be well-adjusted and productive.  That’s only natural.  Everyone, not just fundamentalists, must take this sort of spirituality literally.  Focus on self-responsibility.  Only the person who has the problem, is reliably motivated to deal with it as well as possible.  We could live without moral responsibility (which we can’t count on), abstract principles like morality, etc., but can’t live without victims taking response-ability for their own welfare.  Some things are luxuries; some are necessities.  Addicts’ kids shouldn’t feel bad about themselves, guilty, etc., but when dealing with what their alcoholic parents do the kids should look at themselves rather than blaming others, so as they do this they should choose not to feel self-blame, and, of course, simply looking at themselves means simply looking at what they should have done better.  Their self-help mentors would simply check to see how well they’re doing in following these instructions.  (It’s no wonder that Should Statements are one of the single-mindedly self-responsible cognitive distortions of modern Western depression!)  If one rationale for victim correction doesn’t work, it’s replaced by another.  As “Mary Smith” wrote in her suicide note, “All [my psychologist] could do is nitpick about how I need to feel small + helpless,” though Mary obviously had a gutsy personality, which is typical of the self-empowering “thinking” of victim correction: plenty of all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, mental filter, and disqualifying the positive.  To paraphrase British prime minister David Lloyd George, such teens cannot conquer the chasms in their own lives by gingerly taking one step at a time.

And, of course, when they look at themselves to see if they have the “defects of character” that AA’s Big Book really goes into, i.e. resentment anger and/or fear, then alkies’ kids would probably find that they feel plenty of untermensch feelings, but Al-Anon doesn’t consider correcting them to be self-blame.  As British author Douglas Adams wrote, “When you blame others, you give up the power to change yourself.”  As Susan Faludi wrote in Backlash about writings on codependency, “Norwood’s self-help plan, modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous’s twelve-step program [through Al-Anon], advises women seeking the source of their pain to refrain from looking beyond themselves, a habit she calls ‘blaming.’”  Self-responsibility is necessary for victims.  Backlash mentions “puerile serenity,” though contrived serenity is what’s pertinent!  And we’d better not have a backlash against this knee-jerk, unconditional absolutist one-dimensional uncompromising and unquestionable (but very self-helping and self-motivated) victim correction!  As Bush said in May, 2005, “In my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.”

Though this conviction and ideology expects people to accept a laissez faire self-responsibility that’s as extremist as the self-responsibility that Enron propounded when it seemed so red-blooded, not only would Al-Anon not seem to be extremist wing-nuts, but if you firmly disagreed you could seem to be an extremist wing-nut.  As Enlightenment-era economic philosophers wrote, being productive must override everything else.  Most victim-blaming (a.k.a. self-responsibility) can’t seem bad.  Those who deviate from these expectations are those who’d seem to be the authoritarians, the judgmental controllers.  One can’t say “no” to realism, including, “Like Archie, you should stop blaming others and look at yourself, to improve yourself and your chances!”  As Libertarian Ron Paul explained Social Security,“ ...we have taught them to be dependent,” and a single-minded blaming and correction of any victims would have the same unconditional, gutsy and pro-freedom appeal.  Social Darwinism protects us from all parasitism, which could only hurt the parasites.  No doubt this thrilling philosophy also regards the Americans with Disabilities Act as tyrannical, so either handicapped people get jobs without the ADA, or they’ve been taught to be dependent.  Realists can see the dangers that the weak would pose, unless they make great efforts to be self-reliant anyway and succeed.  We mustn’t reward failure, victimhood, etc., or the weak could get what they wanted without earning it and the strong might not be motivated to achieve, so we must assume that the weak wanted to fail.  This isn’t absolute power; “Archie” and those who are just as helpless can change some significant things.  Such “imperfections” don’t seem nearly as scary as do comparable problems from the guv’mint.  Helplessness isn’t tyranny.

 

The Al-Anon formula for self-help, laissez faire Social Darwinist ideology, and what “self-help” must mean in a society with rampant depression, are based on the same ideas, and come with the same frame of reference.  You simply must accept whatever you get, that you’re powerless to change.  As long as you can’t change what you’re afraid of, the more fear you’d feel, the more self-control you’d need in order to cope with reality.  While “Archie’s” situation is certainly atypical, a society that has rampant depression yet stresses response-ability for one’s own welfare would have to make that personal response-ability, that unconditional (though each situation gives opportunities for rationales for this personal response-ability, that victim correctors could focus on).  All of the advantages of “the invisible hand,” apply to the lives of “Archie” and everyone else in trouble.  (If you weren’t aware of our rampant depression with self-blame, you might think that things just take care of themselves.)  All of these supposed forms of individualism must indoctrinate their followers into believing in counterintuitive absolutisms such as the above, the ideal being complying with the Al-Anon “Serenely accept and courageously change” formula applied to any realities.  That’s living in the real world.  You do what you can.  Beat the hardcore blues.  No self-care could seem onerous.  Whatever happens is, therefore, “life on life’s terms,” “reality,” etc.  Self-responsibility serves the greater good, is a moral obligation that we can’t afford to forgive.  “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, “Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it,” etc., are, in the end, Social Darwinism that resolutely ignores its own consequences.  You get whatever you get.  Things simply have to keep functioning.  If you don’t successfully deal with your own problems, who will?   We must think realistically, so whatever shapes our realities shapes how we must think.  If you don’t go along with the victim correction as a panacea, then that would seem to be your untermensch pathologies, character defects.  Pathetic resentment is the ultimate enemy.  Whatever is necessary for one to deal with his own realities self-reliantly becomes absolutely necessary, so otherwise he’d be inadequate, dysfunctional, etc.  Even if he does plenty, if it’s inadequate to deal with his realities, he’d seem to be inadequate.  The weak can be such a drain.  Victim-blaming has advantages, such as: conventionality, pragmatism, exalting red-blooded strength, preventing manipulative machinations, faith that we get what we deserve, and confidence that the person who’s the most motivated to solve a problem is the one who’s in control.  All that we’d have to do is treat the weak as a bunch of selfish manipulators, and we could have a de facto law of the jungle without having an official law of the jungle.  Everyone must conquer their own doubts, their own “negativity,” for their own good, focusing on correcting themselves.  Correcting women, poor people, etc., as if they fit the stereotypes of choosing to be weak for “fun” and/or profit, is intended to benefit them, strengthen them.  Simple wins.®  Success and failure are objective, and questions of, “What’s unacceptably wrong?”, aren’t.  (You’re expected to have realistic coping skills, so simply proving that what happened was wrong, isn’t enough.)  That’s the real world; sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don’t.  It’s astounding what one can get away with, if what we really care about is the supposed whiners, manipulators, etc.  Acting pathetic is the old (pre-Reagan) way of doing things.  Weakness isn’t competitive, or fun.  If those judging you keep hearing from your society, that supposed victims are really manipulators, attention-seekers, whiners, etc., then that would be how those judges would be likely to judge you.  (Prejudice acquires a new meaning, like Ron Paul’s: “Sometimes you have to pre-judge, since you can’t prove cunning untermensch machinations, and you should be optimistic that they could have succeeded if they really wanted to.”)  Coping with reality must mean overlooking some realities.  Even “Archie” doesn’t have to live in fear.  You don’t deserve more than what you won.  Your attention would be on what you should be doing better, not on the magnitude of the social problem.  Self-help programs like this, even those that apply to situations of unambiguous victimization, are top sellers.  The alkies aren’t controlling Al-Anon members in the authoritarian, anti-freedom sense; that’s the way that life sometimes goes.  We all must adjust to our realities.  That’s inherent to life.  This is the exciting self-reliant freedom, can-do courage, and failsafe well-adjusted forgiveness, that we’ve gotten to know and love.  If it feels good, believe it.  (Fighting and/or caring for the underdog might feel good, though, but we must understand how this would mollycoddle them.)  Addictive personalities would feel right at home.  Hans Johst said, “When I hear the word culture, I release the safety catch on my revolver,” and intellectualism could cause similar feelings, even when the supposed intellectualism is a concern about the sociology of what leads to our rampant depression.  We must all be motivated to deal with our own problems independently resiliently and resourcefully.  We’ll get more chances to succeed.  That simply is the unconditionally self-responsible role that we must play, to keep our society functioning with plenty of self-motivation, unconditionally.  If people could get what they wanted by manipulatively playing the victim role, then that’s what they’d naturally do.  Simply being morally right, has never earned or achieved anything.  If you’ve “really failed,” you could become a projection screen for others’ beliefs about failures.  Conformists firmly believe that certain things are good, so are blinded by ideology.  (“Sure, approximately 15% of the U.S. adult population suffers from a serious depressive disorder in any given year, but if you act like what’s causing your problem is what contributes to our rampant depression, that’s just your manipulative ploy!!!”)  Many want to correct victims (who can’t afford intellectualism) because they ♥♥♥ care ♥♥♥ about them, more than do the petty bourgeois who say vaingloriously that they care, but aren’t realistic or confident about the individual’s self-reliance.  (Manipulative ploys usually don’t work, especially in the long run.)  These are the victim-fixers.  We must stand up for self-reliant freedom.  You can’t prove most manipulative, passive-aggressive, codependent, etc., machinations, so “presumed innocent of machinations until proven guilty” is out of the question.  Whenever tenable, see problems as the victims’ free choice, eagerly believing that we have self-determination!  Before the Reagan/Thatcher Era, caring about the causes of our rampant depression would have seemed only natural, but now, truly caring about most of them would seem to reflect a dangerously untermensch character.  Real power is honest, victim-power isn’t.  Even if it had been proven what normalized helplessness contributes to our rampant depression, those who are well-adjusted would have to respond to it with, “Sure, what’s happening to you is the sort of thing that’s been proven to contribute to our rampant depression, but everyone knows that when that sort of thing happens to you, you’re just going to have to deal with it.”  The red-blooded, pro-freedom, and pro-self-reliance cultural norms behind this are sacrosanct, so naturally we accept the consequences.  Both the logic and the consequences, are predictable and stereotypical.  As “Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it,” says, we mustn’t try to re-engineer aggressive human nature, and must re-engineer passive human nature.  Expecting victim-fixers to give up victim-blaming, would be like expecting addicts to give it up.  Sure, William Styron wrote, “To most of those who have experienced it, the horror of depression is so overwhelming as to be quite beyond expression, hence the frustrated sense of inadequacy found in the work of even the greatest artists,” but if we were guaranteed safety from what causes our rampant depression, anxiety disorders, etc., we wouldn’t have enough motivation to earn and achieve.  Faith in anything would make one happier, including faith in this.  People tend to believe what they want to believe.  No matter what happens to you, if you didn’t have faith in your opportunities to succeed you’d seem unpatriotic, while, “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, is patriotic.  (“The weak are at fault,” is the last refuge of both the scoundrel, and the sociopath.)  Optimism that you’d succeed if only you were good enough, seems mandatory.  Response-ability for one’s own welfare would work for everyone, and keeps everyone self-motivated.  All three of these forms of responsible “individualism” would preach the basic ideas of the same self-reliant and self-responsible platitudes over and over again, like a dogma or cult since free thought regarding this would allow untermensch weakness and manipulative strength, and who’d fix the consequences of that?  All this mustn’t ever seem repulsive.  This must always constitute the same simplistic dogma over and over again, since certain things must be taken care of by those reliably motivated to do it.  This could even answer The Big Questions of Life, since well-motivated and objective personal response-ability for one’s own problems, could lead to more peace and productivity than would moral rules.  Motivate, motivate, motivate!!!  NOTHING CAN LIMIT HOW MUCH ALL THIS COULD AFFECT YOU.  With enough mass hysteria, conformity, compliance, and condemnation of whining, people could think that serious depressive disorders affecting 34,000,000 American adults, consists of either 34,000,000 rather severe character defects, or 34,000,000 rather severe medical conditions.

Self-responsibility along the lines of the law of the jungle, works: eventually, if you try hard enough (which is along the same self-motivated lines as, “Greed is good.  Greed works.”)  As Gordon Gekko said, this must be The American Way, since anything else would rely too much on altruism and/or opinion-based restriction, coddle the whiny losers too much, etc.  The law of the jungle protects us from untermensch manipulation, parasitism, quitting, etc.  The dangers that are feared, are thoughts, feelings, and actions of the weak, the victims.  Social Darwinism destroys, but protects us from failures in fixing destruction, and from whiny “weak characters.”  Very little pragmatic victim-blaming would seem undoubtedly bad (especially to those who aren’t intellectualist).  If your nephew died young because his priest had molested him, you might even put The Serenity Prayer on the homepage of his memorial website, since that prayer tells you how to cope with literally anything.   Endurability might seem very basic to life, but in some situations, expecting endurability would be unrealistic.  One depression is a tragedy; millions of depressions is a statistic.  Victim-blaming develops a life of its own, since that simply is how things must be taken care of, with plenty of reliable self-motivation.  The real world will make its demands!  Objectivity, Objectivism, means might makes right, since might and victory are objective, and moral wrongness is both subjective and emotionalistic.  Sure, Helen Keller wrote, “I do not want the peace that passeth understanding.  I want the understanding which bringeth peace,” but when we’re in trouble, what we do and don’t want is a bunch of BS.  Whatever applies to addicts’ kids, also applies to oppressed minorities, etc., since inadequate adjustment and adaptation to one’s own realities, would cause the same sorts of problems for anyone.  When it comes to moral responsibility, the slate is basically wiped clean.  The more that you’d care about your own helplessness, the more helpless you’d become.  Such realism is tautological, begging the question, “Your dad’s addiction is reality, so if you don’t adjust to it and function with it you’re maladjusted and dysfunctional, since that’s reality.”  Everyone must get on with life.  As Fleischer, Al-Anon, the beginning of Lee Greenwood’s Reagan-Revolutionary patriotic praise song God Bless the USA, etc., take for granted, victims who don’t do their best to “move on” would seem to be going against basic American expectations for resilient: self-reliance, self-responsibility, maturity, realism, etc.  Some things seem to matter, some things don’t, and it soon becomes very obvious that the pragmatic ones do.

As you’d live your life, you’d naturally focus on how you could correct your ineffective reactions, efforts, etc.  In the entire world, few could afford not to deal adequately with their own realities, and become losers; problems happen.  All three forms of “individualism” would predictably hold that in reality, the ultimate reason for our unnaturally high rates of depression, anxiety disorders, etc., is a whiny and negativist victim culture, and or something else that’s simply mollycoddle.  (Anything could be ultimately blamed on the victim not stopping preventing or dealing with it well enough.  He’d also have plenty of victim-power.)  This offers the hope of unconditional solutions, and in the real world, we can’t afford conditions.  This is optimistic that the person who really wants to solve the problem, has self-determination.  Satisfying winners’ SELF-WILLS is productive; satisfying losers’ runs the risk of parasitism, controlling, etc.  People must be motivated to win, not whine.  If the government didn’t cause it, then it’s a part of freedom.  This self-responsibility, and figuring that winner equals worthy, are always objective, but other conceptions of personal responsibility and worthiness, aren’t.  That’s the role that good victims will play.  As is typical for dogma, the more that you’d disagree, the more that you’d seem to be one of the dreaded, omni-responsible, whiny negativists and mollycoddles.  Wanting to be productive, optimistic, etc., is very important.  The Fundamental Attribution Error, automatically attributing problems to the victims’ supposed faults, is the same whether the poor are blamed for their own poverty, or Al-Anon members are blamed for their own resentment.  “There are no victims, just volunteers.”  Each of us must do whatever he must do, yet that’s life, not slavery.  Nothing that disagrees can really matter.  If the only alternatives that a society had were either rampant depression, or its people not being adequately motivated to try to earn and achieve, then the rampant depression would be the realistic alternative.  Victim blaming is always pro-freedom and pro-self-responsibility.  Defying this, isn’t [all-American] defiance.  All this is very predictable, even when it sizes up addicts’ families.  Self-reliant realism, no matter what one’s own realities are, is non-partisan, objective, Objectivist.  This is for the individual, even when the individual ends up devastated.  No matter how high the rate of depression gets, this wouldn’t seem to be a social experiment, attempt to re-engineer human nature, etc.  In the words of William Ryan’s Blaming the Victim, “All of this happens so smoothly that it seems downright rational.”

A study funded by the US government, Political Conservatism as Motivated Social Cognition, found that conservatism is rooted in such neuroses as, “fear and aggression, dogmatism and the intolerance of ambiguity,” and that Hitler, Mussolini, Reagan, and Rush Limbaugh all “preached a return to an idealized past and condoned inequality.”  Yet the self-help Newthink would have to say that all of these neuroses are good, even necessary.  After all:  Working with fear and aggression is realistic when that’s reality.  Nazism seemed exciting in its day, very uninhibited and self-confident, fitting Freudian conceptions of normal human nature, which are basically German.  Might makes right, since helplessness means that you must serenely accept.  “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, shows how easy it is for weakness-makes-wrong to come naturally and seem obligatory.  Your beliefs should make you fit in.  All this must be done dogmatically and absolutistically, since half-measures will avail us nothing, and no abstractions (self-justifying opinions) could seem as important as realism.  This personal responsibility must be as out-of-control as are the realities that one must deal with.  “Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it.”  Someone absolutely has to take responsibility for each and every problem, no matter how many reasons he may give for why this is morally wrong, since every problem must get solved.  Assuming that the weak want and/or need to be weak, are trying to take advantage of the strong manipulatively, etc., can’t be just a temporary trend.  Realism gets first priority, and this isn’t just somewhat.  The proponents are our friends, our allies, since they fight for self-reliant freedom.  No one has a right to defend themselves from personal response-ability for their own welfare.  Only strength is material.  As Reagan said on April 7th, 1970 about that era’s protesters and activists, “If it takes a bloodbath, let’s get it over with,” and a non-violent version of this would apply to the victimologists and other losers.  We must return to a self-responsibility like the pioneers’, old-fashioned übermensch pride and shame (old-fashioned yet exciting enough to attract a staunch, aggressively energized, and anti-“repression,” audience and following).  “Archie” believes what he’s supposed to, which is self-empowering.  Inequality is realistic and pro-freedom, and loves winners (without caring why they won).  A big fear is of the supposed cunning “victim-power” of the untermenschen.  They could have so much victim-power, that it’s scary!  If you object to sinfulness, that’s really your will-to-power.  Strength looks honorable, or at least forgivable.  Tough, is good.  Populism sounds very folksy and spontaneous.  Moral re-armament, standing up for strong self-reliant principles, etc., sound exciting, have plenty of vitality.  Being pre-occupied with sexual morality, as our Fundament Christian leaders are, can’t be called whining, victimology etc., though caring about morality that isn’t victimless, can be.  A lot of problems could ultimately be blamed on the weak, who should therefore try to empower themselves (which is good).  What we need is more leadership and less whining.  Gutsiness seems exciting and mentally healthy.  It sounds sexy; caring about our rampant depression doesn’t.  Confidence feels good.  Pathetic resentment is the ultimate enemy.  Sturm und drang speakers sound exciting, whether from a podium like Hitler, or on the radio.  (Yet this aggressiveness also sounds obviously very depression-genic.)  Caring about moral wrongness, other than what religious rules say, could very easily seem WILLFULLY emotionalistic: resentful, manipulative, melodramatic, self-righteous, whiny, etc. (the supposed triumph of the manipulative will).  If you object to the irrationality and tunnel vision, you could seem to be looking down on the lower-middle-class (which was the Nazis’ main base of support), and outrage about that doesn’t seem to be appealing to pity or playing the victim role.  Populism trusts the mediocre.  It doesn’t matter that real common sense wouldn’t accept what causes rampant depression.  Lower-middle-class people in any country, including Germany, are up against certain (whiny) sorts of people and could seem to be up against others, and must be stolid realists.  As cognitive therapists would tell you, having the “wrong” opinions (not just aberrant ones) washed from your brain, could let you fit in much better.  Reagan’s “We begin bombing in five minutes,” joke, and his statement of 1965, “We should declare war on North Vietnam...   We could pave the whole country and put parking stripes on it, and still be home by Christmas,” showed that he had plenty of spark, which is what made him so popular!  Attack politics works, in pressuring people into taking response-ability for their own welfare.  Only the (dreaded) intellectual elite could afford to care.  Gutter tactics are catchy.  Banalities really have to matter.  “Utilize, don’t analyze.”  (As Hitler said, “How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don’t think.”)  Without that self-empowerment, you might not succeed in taking care of yourself.  Defying this, is parasitical (one of Nazism’s favorite words).  One could be on a single-minded mission to correct victims, whether this be to fight the ignominious and parasitical untermenschen, or to maximize their very necessary self-help, self-reliance, and well-adjusted emotional strength.  Weakness is bad, and that’s not judgmental in the Christian sense, or repressive in the Freudian sense.  Conventional beliefs mean fitting in productively.  “Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it,” is Wagnerian realism, and Wagnerian judgmentalism.  (We can’t have one without the other, since someone has to deal with each reality.)  Such aggression looks very unexciting to those on the receiving end of it, and they don’t have a choice.

The cognitive distortions of modern Western depression, basically consist of absolutist self-responsible and “I’ll change what I can: myself,” victim-self-blaming.  One could really see this Wagnerian level of self-responsibility, in discussions of codependency, which became popular in the 1980s.  Self-help means self-reliance.  Victim-blaming leads to self-motivated solutions.  You’d rather count on greed, response-ability for one’s own welfare, etc., to motivate what needs to be done, than count on moral responsibility, which could also seem manipulative, unchecked in its victim-power, etc.   As Reagan said, “Unemployment insurance is a prepaid vacation plan for freeloaders.”  “Realism” would require ignoring untermensch realities, which would dishearten, give excuses, divert efforts, manipulate, etc.  No matter what hardship, sinfulness, etc., impacts each person’s life, he must deal with it productively; we mustn’t be unrealistic.   Realists accept war, and this.   A lack of this realism is what would seem neurotic: unrealistic, counterproductive, self-defeating, immature, passive-aggressive, passive, resentful, manipulative, mollycoddle, etc.  No matter what are your realities (including extreme ones, hardship, sinfulness), if you have an outlook of, “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, you’d be most likely to succeed in life.  Realism cares only about what is, and what must be.

“Archie’s” realism is along the lines of economics, which is called “the dismal science,” since people tend to want to be more productive than they have the opportunities to be.  To both “Archie” and economics, if you win you win, if you lose you lose, and we all must accept playing whatever roles our wins and losses will assign us.  All must accept and work around inexorable human imperfection, including addictions.  Only expecting people to take response-ability for their own welfare, works reliably with no mollycoddle side-effects such as parasitism victimology and pessimism (“You should choose to have a positive attitude, to benefit yourself.”).  Whatever realities one must deal with, he must deal with, and whatever he must do to deal with them, he must do.  When reality requires that this go to the point of a reductio ad absurdum, then that’s what reality (and self-motivated self-reliance) require.  That isn’t the sort of inefficiency, inadequate reward for effort, irresponsibility, parasitism, self-denial, etc., that economics cares about, since people are always motivated to: solve their own problems, optimistically believe that they’ll get what they deserve, take response-ability for their own welfare, serenely accept whatever they’re helpless to change, deny their own maladjusted desires, etc.—and motivation is everything.  That’s also the (morally bankrupt) main idea of therapy for codependents: You’re motivated to solve your problems, and that behavior problem isn’t.  This is results-oriented, objective, non-manipulative.  One’s self-motivation maximizes the efficiency, productivity, utility, chances for success, etc., in his own life, including “Archie” and those in even worse situations throughout the world.  They all have autonomy and are taking response-ability for their own welfare, and their helplessness is too isolated banal and “personal” to qualify as real issues.  All must work with whatever they’ve got to work with, or they won’t produce enough.  Cost-shifting is only natural, if it means personal response-ability for one’s own welfare.  Ignoring this realism constitutes a big danger.  Learned helplessness leads to great inefficiencies, and we do try to stop these.  No matter how natural learned helplessness is, in an adversarial society we must overcome it, since just because you’ve been helpless doesn’t mean that you’ll always be helpless, and you’ll have more of a fighting chance if you’re confident.  If we didn’t have these everyday norms, people could get what they wanted through untermensch cunning (which would only weaken themselves in the long run), rather than through earning achieving and winning it.  “We are all victims of victims.”  Those who are preaching these “shoulds” and “musts” aren’t official authority, but disagreeing would seem heretical.  All three of these self-empowering worldviews would insist that no one is entitled to endurability.  If your life is with an addict, or is anything else, that’s life on life’s terms!  Sure, this only holds the victims responsible, but no one is only a victim.  Reality is reality, even when it’s reprehensible.  You get whatever you get.  Idealism, on the other hand, doesn’t work.  This helplessness doesn’t come from the guv’mint.  We must take into account the threshold of human endurance.  As William Sloan Coffin said, “One of the attributes of power is that it gives those who have it the ability to define reality and the power to make others believe in their definition,” and that would include, “I’ve stopped blaming others, and I’m looking at myself!”, if those power dynamics had made this self-responsibility pragmatic.  We might as well be telling the millions suffering from depression, “You’d better just fix your own choices, since if you try to fix others’ choices, the following is wrong with you....”  Facts are stubborn things.

You could always count on victim correction.  We can re-engineer untermensch human nature, since victims want to react more serenely and courageously.  Realists can’t object to blaming the victims, since they’re the ones with the most reliable motivations to solve the problems.  Blithe means well-adjusted.  No matter what caused your problems, if we tolerated and/or mollycoddled your passivity, weakness, failures, pessimism, victimhood, etc., that would only hurt you in the long run.  “I don’t have a problem unless I think I do.”  Fairness, or even endurability, isn’t going to happen by magic.  This anti-intellectualism, like the anti-intellectualism that led to the Iraq war, is common sense.  (As Robert Novak said, “Weapons of mass destruction or uranium from Niger are little elitist issues that don’t bother most of the people.”  Elitist means unrealistic.)  Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s book Exuberance says, “The result of a Pew Carter poll conducted in 2002 of 38,000 people in forty-four countries found that more Americans [65 percent] than respondents from other countries disagreed with the statement ‘Success in life is pretty much determined by forces outside our control.’”

Sure, during that interview of Ron Paul, he was told, “...there are a lot of people that describe you as a flake.  And that’s a quote,” and coaching addicts’ kids to believe, “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!” might sound just as flaky, but if one has to succeed in a society with rampant depression, that sort of unconditional self-response-ability is necessary.  Either handicapped people, etc., do whatever it takes to deal with their own problems, or they’re too parasitical to deal with reality.  Ex-Nazi Hermann Rauschning wrote in 1939 about the Nazis’ anti-Semitism, “All these elements, so primitive and threadbare in their psychology, are nevertheless thoroughly effective in practice,” and the same goes for treating other wide swaths of people as manipulative and parasitical untermenschen, even if the intent is to pressure them into acting more übermensch.

As Allan Bloom’s The Closing of the American Mind says, “At very best, self-determination is indeterminate.”  Yet motivation is EVERYTHING, and we all know who’s most motivated to solve any problem.  Some nihilistic acceptance is bad; some is realistic.  Since few on social security, etc., are cynically parasitical, “We taught them to be dependent,” would require only that we taught them not to solve their own problems well enough that they’d succeed, as “Archie” succeeded.  And of course, to care that “I’ve stopped blaming others, and I’m looking at myself!” could teach these others to evade moral responsibility, would weaken those red-blooded self-reliant efforts to succeed.  Victim correction gives us objectivity.

Even the most caring person could teach this “independence,” so you could always count on getting victim correction.  (It would really do you a lot of good, of course. ♥♥♥♥♥)  Especially if one is in trouble, his having a productive attitude toward his taking care of his own problems, isn’t a dispensable luxury, while any fairness, is one.  We mustn’t coddle maladjustment.  Realists accept reality.  Reaganomics doesn’t allow for excuses.  In the Reagan era, James Watt seemed sane, too.

James Watt’s official Department of the Interior photo

 

This was also the same Reagan Administration that arranged for many varieties of deadly germs, as well as other military help, to be exported to Saddam, our ally against Iran.  Once, Reagan’s ideas seemed extremist, but now they seem as realistic and necessary as, “I’ve stopped blaming others and I’m looking at myself!”, which, after all, would make anyone more likely to succeed.

As Aldous Huxley wrote, “The ends cannot justify the means for the simple and obvious reason that the means employed determine the nature of the ends produced.”  The ends of, “Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it,” might seem good, even necessary when the person must pragmatically deal with hardship and/or others’ sinfulness ad infinitum.  Yet the means, the requirements that one unquestioningly adjust to hardship and/or sinfulness, are this excessive and pitiless. As Huxley also wrote, “[The psychological revolution] will really be a revolution.  When it is over, the human race will give no further trouble.”  If everyone serenely accepted whatever they’re helpless to change, no more trouble.

As Emily Dickinson wrote, “Opinion is a flitting thing But Truth outlasts the Sun.”  Or, as Homer wrote, “Once the harm is done, even a fool understands it.”  Trust your natural instincts (without focusing on your übermensch instincts), that don’t accept what causes rampant depression!  Just imagine how different your life would look if those who now respond to the sorts of normalized helplessness that contribute to our rampant depression, anxiety disorders, etc., by saying, “But everyone knows that when that sort of thing happens to you, you’ll just have to deal with it!”, realized how unfit for human consumption it really is!

           

 

(To Father John B. McCormack, regarding his having had told pedo-priest molestation victim Paul Cultrera to “put it all behind me” so that he wouldn’t cause the hierarchy much trouble) “It would help if you chose to follow the opposite of your advice to me and actually put all of this in front of you where you could finally face up to your behavior, take responsibility for your lies, and stop making the weak excuses that have come to characterize your attitude in this matter.”—Paul Cultrera

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(This is the heading of the section of Al-Anon’s workbook Blueprint for Progress, Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory, for those who seem to be codependent to take a fearless moral inventory of behaviors, including helpful ones, that are labeled as “controlling.”  Frankly, just about any helpful behavior in a relationship that’s considered codependent, would be considered “controlling,” as in, “Sure, you think that what you’re doing is trying to help, but supposedly trying to help someone is a great way to control him.”  This morality-based “control” is in the same sense of what the Mississippi preacher mentioned by Bobby Kennedy’s administrative aide James Symington, meant by tyranny, “One preacher let me into his church, and told me, ‘You represent a tyranny.’   I said, ‘How do you think black people feel living in Mississippi with no rights?’   He said, ‘Well, it’s better to have a lot of little tyrannies than one big one.’”  Control based on one person having power over another, is only a little tyranny.  Of course, if those driven into depression, anxiety disorders, etc., by such behavior, instead fixed themselves by taking antidepressants, choosing to think positively, eating more omega-3 fatty acids, etc., that wouldn’t seem controlling, anti-freedom, manipulative, resentful, etc.  If you object to sinfulness, that’s really your will-to-power.)

 

 

Just imagine what it would look like if cognitive therapy gave equal time to re-engineering any aspect of human nature that might give us problems:

Everybody needs a moral compass, and that's theirs.  With all cognitive therapy, the more impressionable that one is, the more that he could learn to think pragmatically.  Since cognitive therapy arose in the 1960s based on the then-popular Eastern transcendence, this could be called "Calcutta survival skills."

The Fine Art of Propaganda, by Alfred McClung Lee and Elizabeth Briant Lee, quotes Hitler's Mein Kampf as saying, "A lie is believed because of the unconditional and insolent inflexibility with which it is propagated and because it takes advantage of the sentimental and extreme sympathies of the masses."  It should be obvious to anyone that the problems of the victims of alcoholic parents (or anything comparable) aren't inside of themselves.  Yet the sentimental and extreme sympathies of Americans tend to insist that one take personal response-ability for his own welfare.  If he doesn't, he could be insolently and inflexibly accused of having "pity parties" and the like.  A stolid self-reliance with self-empowerment simply seems good, while passivity simply seems bad, reflecting a hidden version of selfish human nature.

Al-Anon’s approach was based on AA's approach, in which the more impressionable a recovering alkie is, the more that he could get rid of his pathological thoughts.  Something very vital is missing.

 

The "seven propaganda devices" that the Institute for Propaganda Analysis observed in the 1930s being used by those such as fascist Father Charles Coughlin, which were then described in The Fine Art of Propaganda in 1939, were: Name Calling, Glittering Generality, Transfer, Testimonial, Plain Folks, Card Stacking, and Band Wagon.  That's exactly what you'd expect to hear from the untermensch-phobic victim correction as a panacea.

Quite literally, it can't matter how much someone else is responsible for your problem,

since if people's response-ability for their own welfare weren't unconditional, then those in situations for which others are clearly responsible, wouldn't strive to become better happier people, which they'd probably need to do to deal adequately with their own problems.  And many AA slogans ridicule those who don't have what Niebuhr (disapprovingly) called "Buddhistic" spirituality like this.  (Yet I could make the following guarantee: The very same all-American types who'd be the first to condemn Buddhistic spirituality as alien, extinguishing people's autonomy and selfhood, brainwashing, etc., would also be the first to practice what Buddhism calls "mindfulness" when they're in situations that contribute to our rampant depression.  After all, their chances of coping with them would be a lot higher if they chose to contrive a serene acceptance of whatever they're helpless to change, than if they drew their own honest conclusions about it.)

However you define your own personal responsibility, if you aren't adequate to do this, lose the battle, fail, and come up short with big consequences, you'd seem to be an irresponsible and inadequate, loser and failure with very consequential shortcomings.  If you don't adjust to this, adapt to it, function with it, fit in with it, and feel content with it, you'd seem to be a maladjusted maladaptive and dysfunctional, misfit and malcontent.  How else would a pragmatist define "good enough"?

Naturally, in Al-Anon literature, you'd see this conception of "weakness or a character flaw," "moral" wrongs, "our wrongs" and, "defects of character," applied to how alkies' family members are adjusting to their realities.  Naturally, Al-Anon's workbook Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon's Fourth Step Inventory, says near the beginning, "Step Four is an exercise in perception, a way to distinguish between what works in our lives and what is no longer useful or necessary."  So what determines what seems morally right or wrong, is whether it's pragmatic or unpragmatic when dealing with the alkie in one's own life.  That certainly is an "exercise in perception," since it requires that the person choose to perceive things in the idiosyncratic fashion in which he's told to perceive them.  Though the law doesn't figure that the disease of addiction makes addicts not guilty by reason of insanity, addicts' family members are a lot less powerful than the law, so they must.  Though Fundament Christians regard Situation Ethics as very permissive, "turn tragedy into transformation" spirituality would have to treat them as too judgmental.

A book from Gamblers Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, The First Forty Years, says that in Southern California for a time, Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon had "mixed" meetings.  When someone from higher up said that the meetings "should be separate and not meet together," "The women, because GamAnon was all women at the time, were very upset at the thought that they would not be present at the Gamblers Anonymous meeting to check up on the gambler."  This "checking up" would be along the lines of Situation Ethics, concerned with the consequences of the gambling, rather than preaching some sort of moral code.  These consequences, and risk of far greater consequences, would be pretty high for these women and their children.   Yet even this seemed too preachy and intrusive for Gamblers Anonymous, especially if this consists of women checking up on men.

A similar exercise in perception is the following, from the cognitive therapy self-help book for depression, Feeling Good, by Dr. David Burns, which includes on its cover:

Now we come to a truth you may see either as a bitter pill or an enlightening revelation.  There is no such thing as a universally accepted concept of fairness and justice.  There is an undeniable relativity of fairness, just as Einstein showed the relativity of time and space....

Here’s proof: When a lion devours a sheep, is this unfair?  From the point of view of the sheep, it is unfair, he’s being viciously and intentionally murdered with no provocation.  From the point of view of the lion, it is fair.  He’s hungry, and this is the daily bread he feels entitled to.  Who is “right”?  There is no ultimate or universal answer to this question because there’s no “absolute fairness” floating around to resolve the issue.  In fact, fairness is simply a perceptual interpretation, an abstraction, a self-created concept.  How about when you eat a hamburger?  Is this “unfair”?  To you, it’s not.  From the point of view of the cow, it certainly is (or was)!  Who’s “right”?  There is no ultimate “true” answer.

This is neo-Buddhism.  After this, Dr. Burns goes on to say that this doesn't mean that he believes in anarchy, since if social norms could stop destructive behavior, then those norms are good.  Also, he's not advocating an overgeneralized self-abnegation, since if your anger would inspire you to courageously change what you can, then it's good.  On the other hand, if you're helpless, that's when you have to perceive your problems in terms of, "There is no such thing as a universally accepted concept of fairness and justice."  This is exactly what would most work in the lives of those living with addicts, as well as those living with people whose behavior problems can't be excused as resulting from any disease.  Those family members simply must accept that lions eat lambs, unless they have the power to change their problems.  Cognitive therapy has plenty of empirical and "clinically proven" evidence to prove that it works, so addicts' family members who adopt that relativism would tend to feel more serene.  Not only that, since this is "drug free," it seems to be natural, as if this is a natural way to think.

If you're not a friend or family member of an addict, then the only difference between them and you, is that their problems are probably more serious, and, therefore, they could afford not to simply deal with them, less than you could.  That's why self-help philosophy for anyone in trouble, as well as the "weakness or a character flaw" that our culture would take seriously, have this same conception of personal responsibility.  Getting rid of a morally weak character doesn't seem necessary, since that would be re-engineering human nature, and those on the receiving end of the problems would be motivated to solve them.  Getting rid of untermensch weak characters does seem necessary, since that doesn't seem to be re-engineering human nature, if they don't solve their own problems (irrespective of who caused them), who would?

The Fine Art of Propaganda clearly suggests that the best antidote to propaganda is to ask questions concerning what would be the real, practical effects of what the propaganda is trying to cast in a good light.  For example, telling people that "personal responsibility for one's own welfare" means courageously changing what one can and serenely accepting whatever one can't, even when this means, "Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it," could be painted as a failsafe formula for unconditional coping skills.  Yet all you've got to do is ask about the effects of that sort of moral bankruptcy, and this could set you free.  Questions are the ultimate form of thinking for yourself.  (However, those who have a stolid definition of manipulation, such as Schopenhauer's "The concept of good is divided into two subspecies, that of the directly present satisfaction of the will in each case, and that of its merely indirect satisfaction concerning the future, in other words, the agreeable and the useful.  The concept of the opposite, so long as we are speaking of beings without knowledge, is expressed by the word bad, more rarely and abstractly by the word evil, which therefore denotes everything that is not agreeable to the striving of the will in each case," would have to believe that for the untermenschen to think for themselves sincerely, is manipulative!)

 

 

           

 

AA's other main book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, talks about these character defects in more general terms.  The chapter on the Fourth Step begins, "CREATION gave us instincts for a purpose.  Without them we wouldn't be complete human beings....  So these desires—for the sex relation, for material and emotional security, and for companionship—are perfectly necessary and right, and surely God-given.  Yet these instincts, so necessary for our existence, often far exceed their proper functions.  Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist on ruling our lives.  Our desires for sex, for material and emotional security, and for an important place in society often tyrannize us," and goes on to talk about how the victims of these feelings are the people who feel them.  Of the instincts they listed, the only one that could possibly hurt others unless carried to ridiculous extremes, is the sex instinct.  Just like modern Fundament Christian moral crusaders, this talks about the dangers of sex but not the dangers of greed.  Of the other two mentioned instincts, the only problems that they could cause us, is if those who don't have enough material and emotional security, or companionship, let this bother them.  If what happened to us were bad enough, one could say that our natural reactions to it would drive us, dominate us, insist on ruling our lives, tyrannize us, etc.

If what happened was someone else's moral responsibility, then having an attitude toward it of, "Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it," would keep us free of unhappy feelings, but would also be as morally bankrupt as Matthew 5:39, 43-45, from the Sermon on the Mount, "But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil.  But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also...  You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."  If our society ends up with a rate of depression that obviously isn't what "creation," or nature, had intended, then this would seem to be our natural instincts far exceeding their proper functions, even if it could be proven that this unnaturally high rate doesn't result from unnatural excesses inside of the depressed.

While this chapter of Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions does make some references to the harm that some of these feelings can do to others, the chapter also says, "We thought 'conditions' drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics.  It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were....  We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it."  Here is where "Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is not as I would have it," can be taken literally.

Similarly, the chapter of Gamblers Anonymous' handbook tells of how gamblers' families and friends should learn to live with their own problems.  Near the beginning, this says, "Living or being associated with a compulsive gambler creates its own kind of hell.  For most people, it is a devastating experience: family relationships become unbearably strained and the home is filled with bitterness, frustration and resentment.  Emotionally, the stress takes its toll as the life of the Gam-Anon member seems to crumble and become unmanageable; tensions are aggravated because life, in material terms, is unstable.  At any moment the house might be lost or the furniture repossessed.  There may not be enough money to put food on the table or clothe the children."

And, of course, the goal of Gam-Anon is to use Twelve-Step spiritual principles to help the friends and family members deal with their own problems.  Included in this is that their practice of the Fourth Step means, "We find that we had to become completely honest with ourselves.  Most of us discover that we have many defects of character of which we were not aware.  We find it helpful to take a moral inventory of ourselves.  Among our faults we find self-pity, dishonesty, impatience, hate, false pride, envy, and negative thinking.  Lest we become discouraged, it is also important to remember our assets as well as our liabilities," and their practice of the Sixth Step includes, "When we accept the fact that serenity comes from within, our progress develops.  Exploring further along this line, we gain insight.  We see that with defects of character such as self-pity, self-justification, impatience and resentment, we will never find this peace of mind and serenity we seek."  Anyone familiar with victim-blaming could see that these are the untermensch "defects of character" that tend to be attributed to poor people in general, since naturally those who are involuntarily poor would feel such things.

From the perspective of even the most worldly ethical systems, such as Situation Ethics, this would constitute de rigueur amoralism, and beloved moral bankruptcy, where moral outrage would be disallowed as self-righteous rage, and coping through indifferent moral bankruptcy means goodness.  One could say that "how it works," for anyone, alkie or not, is that correcting the victim has plenty of motivation self-reliance and forgiveness.  Those who are morally responsible aren't much motivated to fix the problems, and expecting them to could seem both manipulative and unforgiving, so holding them responsible wouldn't work well enough that one could rely on it.

           

Just after the following section of How it Works, which includes a confession of the resentment anger and fear that the alcoholic felt about having to take responsibility for a drunken extramarital affair, padding his expense account (Webster's Dictionary defines "pad" as, "to expand with needless or fraudulent matter."), etc., that chapter goes into a very morally relativist attitude about sex in general, including, "We reviewed our own conduct over the years past.  Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?  Whom had we hurt?  Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?  Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead?  We got this all down on paper and looked at it."  This isn't about an ambiguous romantic relationship where even a Don Juan could insist that his ostensibly monogamous relationship wasn't really serious.  The stronger you are, the more likely you are to have what’s exciting, pro-freedom, übermensch, red-blooded, self-reliant, etc., on your side.

This was written around the end of the Great Depression, during which the popular psychological approaches had to go towards Stoic adjustment to the problems of the Depression.  Eugenics and Sex Harmony, a quaint jazz-age self-help book from 1933, says, "The best way to control the self-preservation instincts, such as fear and anger, Doctor [Josephine] Jackson insists, is to refuse to stimulate the emotion when the external situation is not suitable for action. 'But with the organically aroused sex instinct,' she says, ‘there is no power of choice. We may fan the flame until it is out of sight, but we cannot extinguish it by any act of ours. With this instinct we cannot "stop before we begin," because Nature has taken the matter out of our hands.'" The Great Depression is naturally the era when it became necessary to control our passive human nature, and therefore, it had better be more controllable than our active human nature.

And in 1934, Louis Armstrong recorded the following:

Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worries on the doorstep
Life can be so sweet
On the sunny side of the street

Can’t you hear the pitter-pat
And that happy tune is your step
Life can be complete
On the sunny side of the street

I used to walk in the shade
With my blues on parade
But I’m not afraid
This rover’s crossed over

If I never had a cent
I’d be rich as Rockefeller
Gold dust at my feet
On the sunny side of the street

           

The second very important element of the following, is the victim vilification that has to come with addictive personalities, since addictive thinking must assume that the consequences of destructive behavior are only temporary hurdles which, naturally, people will overcome.  Even when the addicts weren't actively drunk, they still very likely would have had an addictive personality.  The web page "What Is Alcoholism?: Basic information about alcoholism - what is it, what causes it, and who is at risk," had said under the heading Personality Traits, "Studies are finding that alcoholism is strongly related to impulsive, excitable, and novelty-seeking behavior, and such patterns are established early on, if not inherited."

Michael Craig, Miller, MD, the Editor in Chief of the Harvard Mental Health Letter, wrote in the February, 2006 issue, "Genes shape temperament: People who are impulsive, take risks, and habitually seek new experiences are more likely to become addicted."  The same article also says that one of the way in which genes "influence the brain's susceptibility to addiction," is in "the prefrontal cortex, which organizes our responses to the environment," and that this is the same obliviousness that constitutes an effect of booze: "Addictive substances may also cause the prefrontal cortex to work at low power—one of the reasons addicted persons often deny that they have a problem."  This is also the reason why booze, which is a depressant, feels like a stimulant.  Other genetic effects, such as that drugs feel unusually good to some people, wouldn't lead to addiction in those who have a strong enough awareness that no matter how good they feel now, overusing them would have the dangers of addiction.  This is exactly the sort of person who's very likely to have strong feeling of untermensch-phobia, since they'd fear anyone who'd hold them morally responsible.

This sort of personality can also lead to adultery even in marriages where the spouse did nothing to deserve this.  Therefore, rather than just brushing over a tawdry extramarital affair as in the above quote, it would have made even more sense for addicts to go into the aggressive "flaws in our makeup," to the degree that the following goes into resentment anger and fear, "Impulsivity is the 'number one' offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else....  If we were to live, we had to be free of thrill-seeking....  Excitability somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.  It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it."  Yet that sort of genuinely insane thinking gets mentioned in passing, here and there, like the above quotation about selfishness dishonesty and considerate in one's extramarital affairs.

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's book Prozac Backlash quotes a recovering alcoholic client who had a very chaotic childhood, as saying, "In AA, I learned to abstain from alcohol and get on with my life, to keep trucking, like a foot soldier."  Any psychological approach that patterns itself after AA, or, especially, after the Twelve-Step groups for addicts' friends and family members, will have to operate like this.  For example, the chapter in Gamblers Anonymous' handbook, for Gam-Anon, says,

When the family member or friend gains an understanding of the gambling problem and attends Gam-Anon regularly, the compulsive gambler may eventually attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings.  However, Gam-Anon members are cautioned not to expect this result and that the reason for attending Gam-Anon is to find a new way of life for themselves.

The aim of the Gam-Anon program is to aid the individuals involved with a compulsive gambler to find help by changing their own lives.  This is accomplished by the spiritual growth gained through living the Gam-Anon program, by giving support and understanding to compulsive gamblers and by providing comfort to their families.

Living or being associated with a compulsive gambler creates its own kind of hell.  For most people, it is a devastating experience: family relationships become unbearably strained and the home is filled with bitterness, frustration and resentment.  Emotionally, the stress takes its toll as the life of the Gam-Anon member seems to crumble and become unmanageable; tensions are aggravated because life, in material terms, is unstable.  At any moment the house might be lost or the furniture repossessed.  There may not be enough money to put food on the table or clothe the children.

Later on this same chapter says, "Because the only real happiness that one can be sure of comes from within, Gam-Anon encourages the member to build on his or her own inner core of spiritual strength and maturity as the best way to live with the gambling problem, rather than to depend solely on their gambling spouses for happiness," and, "Members are encouraged to make home life as pleasant as possible for the compulsive gambler.  They are urged to make themselves attractive, both for the favorable effect on the compulsive gambler and for the therapeutic effect on themselves."  Of course this means that when victims don't live up to these standards, they must be criticized, and get labeled that they're characterologically weak and passive, even when they'd shown enough maturity that such labels should ring hollow.  What we see here is pretty much a combination of "If I never had a cent, I'd be rich as Rockefeller," and the moral bankruptcy of addictive personalities who assume that the consequences of their own destructive behavior are so ephemeral, so those mollycoddle whiners had better stop choosing to walk in the shade with their blues on parade.

If that looks like it's only Gam-Anon's quirk, keep in mind that this is, very literally, a thesis of the AA School of Psychology, which is what self-help in general tends to emulate.  For example, the product description for the self-help book Don't Leave It to Chance: A Guide for Families of Problem Gamblers, by Edward Federman Charles Drebing and Edward J. Federman, says, "Like any addiction, gambling takes its toll on the entire family, causing loss of trust, financial hardship, and difficult dynamics.  [Actually, chances are that "At any moment the house might be lost or the furniture repossessed," wouldn't apply to most addictions.]  Based on the authors' extensive research and filled with hands-on questionnaires, exercises, and charts, this book provides relatives of problem gamblers with a comprehensive program of cognitive-behavioral strategies to help them overcome the negative hold the habit has on their lives."  OK, so how is cognitive-behavioral therapy of the victims, supposed to overcome the negative hold the gamblers' habits have on their lives?  Would training them not to react irrationally, overcome that negative hold?  Is cognitive-behavioral therapy, or is it not, supposed to be limited to washing people's brains, only of irrational beliefs?

The other mental disease that addiction comes the closest to, is sociopathy.  The law doesn't treat sociopaths as not guilty by reason of insanity, though they have a disease that leads to their doing things that might look selfish yet are ultimately self-defeating.  Sociopathy impairs those who have it, enough that normal people lecturing them about it wouldn't do any good, yet leaves them unimpaired enough that if those who have it and want to get control over it, attend weekly meetings where their fellow sociopaths who also want to stop, would encourage each other, this would get many under control.  The article "The Ice People," in the February, 2005 issue of Psychology Today says, "Studies conducted in Taiwan have found a low prevalence of antisocial personality disorder, ranging from .03 percent to .14 percent—impressively less than the Western average of 4 percent....  Though sociopaths (in East Asia) lack an internal mechanism that tells them they are connected to others, the larger culture insists that they are connected—as opposed to our culture, which informs them that their ability to act guiltlessly on their own behalf is the ultimate advantage," so social pressures do dissuade sociopathy.  Since sociopaths' sociopathic choices aren't like normal people's, if you had a sociopathic spouse and he did something that harmed you, you shouldn't take it personally or think that you could have stopped it if only you were good enough.  And if you had a quietist spirituality about what he does, it could seem that you'd find a new way of life for yourself and change you own life, rather than depending solely on your sociopathic spouse for happiness, and this would constitute spiritual growth and spiritual strength and maturity.  If in your society it seems that people's ability to act guiltlessly on their own behalf is the ultimate advantage, then your society has to have some firm precepts on who deals with the emotional and physical consequences.

 

   

 

           

Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory.  This was Step Four.  A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke.  Taking commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process.  It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.  One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret.  If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.

We did exactly the same thing with our lives.  We took stock honestly.  First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure.  Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.

Resentment is the “number one” offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.  From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.  When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.  In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper.  We listed people, institutions or principle with who we were angry.  We asked ourselves why we were angry.  In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, (including sex) were hurt or threatened.  So we were sore.  We were “burned up.”  On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries.  Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?  We were usually as definite as this example:
 
 
 

I’m resentful at:

The cause:

Affects my:

Mr.  Brown 

His attention to my wife.
Told my wife of my mistress.
Brown may get my job at the office.

Sex relations
Self-esteem (fear)

Mrs.  Jones 

She’s a nut—she snubbed me.
She committed her husband for drinking.
He’s my friend.
She’s a gossip.

Personal relationship.
Self-esteem (fear)

My employer 

Unreasonable—
Unjust—
Overbearing—
Threatens to fire me for my drinking and 
padding my expense account.

Self-esteem (fear)
Security.

My wife 

Misunderstands and nags.
Likes Brown.
Wants house put in her name.

Pride
Personal sex relations
Security (fear)

We went back through our lives.  Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.  When we were finished we considered it carefully.  The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong.  To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got.  The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore.  Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves.  But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got.  As in war, the victor only seemed to win.  Our moments of triumph were short-lived.

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.  To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while.  But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave.  We found that it is fatal.  For when harboring such feeling we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit.  The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again.  And with us, to drink is to die.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.  The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us.  They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.

We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future.  We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle.  We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us.  In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill.  How could we escape?  We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how?  We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.

This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.  Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.  We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.  When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man.  How can I be helpful to him?  God save me from being angry.  Thy will be done.”

We avoid retaliation or argument.  We wouldn’t treat sick people that way.  If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.  We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

Referring to our list again.  Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes.  Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?  Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely.  Where were we to blame?  The inventory was ours, not the other man’s.  When we saw our faults we listed them.  We placed them before us in black and white.  We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.

Notice that the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife.  This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.  It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.  It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve.  But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling?  Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing.  It seems to cause more trouble.

We reviewed our fears thoroughly.  We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.  We asked ourselves why we had them.  Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us?  Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough.  Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other.  When it made us cocky, it was worse.

Perhaps there is a better way, we think so.  For we are now on a different basis of trusting and relying upon God.  We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.  We are in the world to play the role He assigns.  Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator.  We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness.  Paradoxically, it is the way of strength.  The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage.  All men of faith have courage.  They trust their God.  We never apologize for God.  Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do.  We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be.  At once, we commence to outgrow fear.