Excerpts from Blanket Restrictions -- CR21
Infants and toddlers often sleep away from their mothers and away from their cribs.
They sleep in strollers, car seats, basinets, and parents' arms. They sleep in daycare, in church, and in grandparents' homes. . . . If infants can tolerate sleeping away from both parents during nap-time at daycare centers, on what basis can we argue that sleeping away from one parent, in the familiar home of the other parent, would harm children?
Numerous studies have shown that children do best when they maintain rich, close relationships with both of their parents following divorce. They are much more likely to escape psychological harm than children who are denied the chance to maintain relationships with both parents. Thus, postdivorce arrangements should maximize the opportunity for children to develop and consolidate relationships with both of their parents.
Developmental psychologists have learned that the best way to promote deep attachments is to allow children to interact with parents in a wide variety of contexts. High quality relationships are best achieved when children experience each parent participating in all aspects of daily life including getting up in the morning, preparing for the day, preparing for daycare, dropping off at daycare, picking up from daycare, feeding, bathing, preparing for bed, playing, putting to bed, soothing when the child awakes in the middle of the night, etc. Overnights are important because they provide opportunities for a wider range of involvement. This contributes to the establishment and consolidation of the parent-child relationship, which in turn benefits the child's long-term adjustment.
Misguided attempts to facilitate healthy mother-infant relationships, based on a faulty understanding of attachment theory, may instead erect unnecessary obstacles to father-child relationships.
The opinion that children can tolerate sleeping during the day in their father's presence, and in the presence of a hired attendant in a daycare center, but not at night with their father, cannot be said to express a scientific judgment. It reveals a bias often rooted in inaccurate assumptions about early child development. Experts who endorse blanket restrictions cannot provide adequate scientific justification for their opinions. Courts, attorneys, and parents should be aware of such limitations.
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